Hi there, ToxicAnglerFish! I love star-related imagery and poems based on characters, so I just had to check out your poem.
I'll start this review off with a few grammatical nitpicks that I noticed while reading through it the first time, then move onto my actual thoughts about the narrative of the poem!
Are shooting stars your sending me tonight
Your should be you're.
A wish that can’t be granted no matter how many shooting stars fly by
As I long for your loving presence tonight
But instead I'm standing in your shadow of absence
Because your poem doesn't use punctuation - for the most part - these three lines come across as difficult to read. I originally paired the last two lines together in my head, but then I realized they didn't make sense when put together. Punctuation is definitely a creative choice when it comes to poetry, but it might be a good idea to utilize something like stanzas to make different sections clearer to the reader.
Sometimes wonder if your up there waiting for me
Your -> you're.
Overall, I really loved this poem! Even though the reader doesn't know your characters, they can infer enough about them to feel the same sorrow that the speaker feels. I know this poem is listed under dramatic and narrative, but it comes across as a very romantic poem. I love how intimate the speaker was with the idea of the character they're missing - and I love the idea of lovers not being together and looking up at the same sky.
I'm also incredibly intrigued by the reference to the speaker hurting the one that they loved. I understand that you probably needed to make it vague so the reader of the poem wouldn't be confused if they didn't know about the characters, but I'd love to see more about how the speaker caused them so much pain. This poem is already pretty unique, but making that one section slightly more specific would bring up a notch.
I hope my review helped! Let me know if you have any questions about - I'd be glad to elaborate.
Points: 1234
Reviews: 590
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