Smiling bright
Smiling Wide
Making it through the day
Whether I want to die or live the lie
That I'm not struggling inside
Sometimes I wake up
Not wanting to not have to see the sunlight
Sometimes I just want to drift away
Far away to a place where I'm happy
Away from people, away from my thoughts.
It's always by my side, putting it's on my shoulder
It's my "friend"
It loves to destroy me from inside
But I hate it so much
Sometimes I enjoy it
For its the only thing honest with me
And I accept it because it might go away soon enough
So I smile at the moment
Even if its faker then a plastic tree
I know it will leave
When I had made my mind
About whether or not I want to die tonight
It doesn't matter if to it, its reality or fiction
I hope it will go away
Before my mind decides to answer the thing's plea for death
That's the only "friend" I have
It usually stays around
But sometimes it goes away for a while
But it seems it will always come back
Oh hey, it came back once more.
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138,377 Literary Works • 672,111 Reviews
Hello ToxicAnglerFish!
A very well-written poem.The idea of calling depression a 'friend' is very unique . No doubt depression is the truest or most honest feeling !
'Even if its faker then a plastic tree'-This line was just amazing .The comparison of the fakeness of a smile to the fakeness of a fake tree! The feeling of depression is so beautifully expressed, you really have to fake a smile even to friends (and to that 'friend') because smiling is much easier than explaining your situation.
Not wanting to not have to see the sunlight
Sometimes I just want to drift away
Far away to a place where I'm happy
Away from people, away from my thoughts.
It's always by my side, putting it's on my shoulder
It's my "friend"
^These lines were the heart and soul of the poem.Explains the title wonderfully ad even convinces the reader that depression can be a friend, a thing which sounds so unlikely.
I just hope you are not in the company of your 'friend'!!
Keep up the creative work!!
Thank you very much! I'm glad someone picked up on the message I was trying to send since lowkey I was afraid that it might be missed by some! And yeah I wanted depression to seem like that one toxic friend that likes to break you down basically. I thought that mixing the toxic friend aspect and depression would make for an interesting poem. Anyway, thank you the review and for enjoying my poem!
Hello hello dear friend. I really like your poem(s) but there are a few things I’d like to point out, first of all, the opening line. You must start with something not that long, but something at least a bit catchy. A cool rhyming scheme, a hook, a question.. and also, well.. the rhymes! I like the way your sentences are short when you talk about hurtful feelings, but truth is; I think you should add more description. An idea,could be extended metaphors; so that you can compare your fake friend with something else. Maybe umm.. an animal..? I dunno. Thing is, in a poem; you have to compare, and describe (basically so that you have longer sentences) more. You can’t just throw in sentences which make sense to you, but not to us- because these words grow long and lame and boring.
But I damn loooooooved this! I hope you feel better, dear. And rest assured, not all people out there are like that 🤗😘
Thank you very much for your criticism! I will consider some of your ideas and see how they can apply to the poem! Also, thank you for loving it so much!