Heyo ToxicAnglerFish, I'm Morrigan, here to return the favor of leaving a few thoughts on your piece!
Here is my honest opinion. It's filled with good intentions.
This poem is filled with a lot of big concepts with not a lot of imagery or substance to back them up. This doesn't give me any kind of feeling because it lacks observations by the senses that I might be able to connect to.
What I'd love to see you expand on is this concept:
Work and talk like a robot
Do things like I'm automated
This is a great starting point! Instead of giving us these big abstract words that don't have a a specific image associated with them (beauty, reason, love), illustrate that you feel like a robot and you're trying to break out of it. Make the metaphor a centerpiece of the poem, and use your five senses to bring the reader into the poem. What does a robot feel like when it moves its arm? Does it feel stiff? Can you hear a creak? Or is it well oiled, boring in its efficiency? Can you smell burning electronics as you become more sentient? I love this idea, and I really urge you to rewrite this poem with this image as the focal point.
The problem right now is that I can't connect to anything in the poem that is concrete. It's a monologue that doesn't take me anywhere. It feels more like a diary entry than a poem. But if you elevate it with more poetic elements (metaphor, imagery, symbolism, heck, add a couple stanza breaks in there so it's not just one big block of text), this could be really lovely. I can see that you're passionate about writing. You just need to do a little readjusting so your passion is well spent.
Unlike your other two reviewers, I'm going to add that there is no need to rhyme anything here. Poetry does not have to rhyme, and forcing rhyme into a poem can only hinder it. Since you've started out without a rhyme scheme, I don't think adding one can really help the piece along at all.
I hope that this review proves useful to you! If you have any questions, please let me know! Keep writing, and keep YWSing!
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