Hey there!
This is quite an interesting poem. It's unique and one of a kind. I enjoyed reading it! I have a few things I'd like to point out. These are just suggestions, so you don't have to listen to them if you don't want to
The first thing I'd like to mention is line length. You usually have medium or longer lines, but sometimes you have very short, almost abrupt lines. Since most of your poem consists of longer lines, I'd stick with having them at that length than having random short ones.
Another thing I'd like to mention is punctuation, specifically question marks. You only use question marks about three times, but your whole poem is asking questions, which doesn't seem very consistent. You can just not use question marks at all, or you can use question marks more consistently, such as after every three questions or so, that's just an example.
Another thing I'd like to mention are stanzas. Right now, your poem is a block of text, which can appear intimidating. I'd recommend using stanzas, so your poem would be easier to read and look more inviting.
Kinda want to become a ghost-like you did too
This is a personal opinion, but I wouldn't use "kinda" You can keep it if that's what you prefer, but it seems too informal to me.
Kinda want to become a ghost-like you did too
So I can know
How it’s like to be a ghost too
Are you sad? Lonely?
Well I am too
So let me become a ghost
So we can be sad but no longer lonely together too
Here you use "too" several times at the ends of your lines. I'd recommend changing it up a bit to add more variety and avoid unnecessary repetition.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this piece, and I hope this review helped!
Points: 29825
Reviews: 465
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