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Oh child of love

by TheMulticoloredCyr


Oh child of love

You are too sweet

Too soft

Too kind

           

You want what is best

And so do the others,

Your sisters and brothers

Shed your tears for the wicked

                                                

For the wicked are your siblings

For the wicked are you.

                           

You see this.

You keep them near

They just want what's best

                                      

But sometimes bridges want to burn

Sometimes your heart is too big

Sometimes the flames hurt 

                                   

But just step back

Get out of the fire

Watch the bridge burn

It isn’t a pyre

                                                       

You’ll feel the warmth from the embers

You’ll turn away.

                                    

Leave them behind

Oh child of love.


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509 Reviews


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Sun Sep 08, 2019 4:43 pm
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Magestorrow wrote a review...



Hey there, @TheMulticoloredCyr! I'm here to review your work.

From the two poems of yours that I've read so far, imagery seems to be one of your strengths. I love the variety you used when describing different aspects of the flames in your poem; it served as a great metaphor for leaving toxic relationships. One of my favorite pieces of imagery is when you describe the bridge as not being a pyre - the suggestion that the fire isn't meant to bring you down, too, is one of the most powerful metaphors in the entire poem.

You also have a knack for repetition. Since this poem is supposed to be a warning and a guide, the repetition works really well - it continually enforces the need to get away from the fire.

I wanted to be helpful and come up with some kind of critique, but I honestly couldn't come up with one.

So great job with that!

Thank you for sharing this poem, and I can't wait to read more of your works.

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Thanks for the review!



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16 Reviews


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Mon Aug 05, 2019 12:41 pm
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Bhaavya Singh wrote a review...



Hey that was awesome!!
I really loved your flow. The way it went on was nice. The deep meaning behind the poem really touched my heart. The starting was beautiful. The title was catchy too. When I read'Oh Child of love', I was sure that today I will read something unique. And the poem is really distinctive. The choice of topic is great. The emotions expressed will leave you awed.
It is adorable! Keep on the good work!




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Sun Jul 28, 2019 2:19 am
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FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...



Hello, FlamingPhoenix here with a review for you on this lovely day, and to also get your wonderful work out the green room.

Okay let's start.

I am happy to say I didn't see any really big things in this poem that needs to be fixed, so the things I'm going to tell you know you don't have to do what I say, I'm just telling you my thoughts.
So when I was reading this poem you did repeat a few words right after each other like Sometimes and You. Maybe thing about changing them into another word, it will make it sound a little less repetitive, but like I said before you don't have to do what I say if you don't agree.
Other than those things I really loved this poem. It was an amazing peace, and I loved every moment reading it.
Your emotions were really deep, and I like poems that have emotions because it helps the reader become more connected to what it is all about.
The story you are telling us here is something I have thought about many times, so I really felt what you said here.
Over all this was a wonderful poem, and I wish it kept going but sadly all thing must come to an end, though I'm really happy I got to be one of the people to read and help get it out the green room. I hope you will keep writing amazing works, because I look forward to the next one. Have a great day or night.

Your friend
FlamingPhoenix.
Reviewing with a fiery passion.

HAPPY REVIEW DAY!!!!!




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Sat Jul 27, 2019 3:19 am
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Awru wrote a review...



Wow!That was so beautiful.It was sooo smooth and still.While reading this i thought time had stopped for a well.The words blended so well together.I don't care if all wasn't rhyming it was jst amazing.It was such a deep poem having so many aspects.Like its going to connect with everyone with a different picture and meaning.
But sometimes bridges want to burn

Sometimes your heart is too big

Sometimes the flames hurt

These are my fav lines.Sometimes the flames do hurt so much.The pain becomes unbearable.
This poem connected to me in a way that no matter how hard u try to please the world it will never be happy with you.One day all your hardworks and sacrifices all will be burned with a single flaw.But its hard its so hard to just go and leave them behind.
Anyway i loveeddd this poem
Keep Up the Excellent Work :smt023

peace out





The greatest part of a writer’s time is spent in reading, in order to write; a man will turn over half a library to make one book.
— Samuel Johnson