Young Writers Society

Hey, Lele here for a review

Just want to start by saying this is categorized in the wrong section

Moments like these are far from dramatic. And I feel for you

I don’t get a hint of glorification from your words. Only empathy.

This poem is full of emotion. It is very real. It is bittersweet. From such dark emotions to seemingly positive. You can feel the frantic nature of your words. I would love for you to elaborate more on what victory is and what it means to you in this piece.

Overall, it is beautiful. Very telling. I hope for your peace of mind. Keep writing

Hello, good morning, good afternoon and good evening as well. Wolf here for a quick review. I have not written any reviews for a long time so I am a bit rusty... but here goes nothing.

Your poem that you have here is for one thing very emotional. your lines are simple and short, the longest having only six words and yet they convey such a strong sense of emotion. Many authors struggle to convey this when using double the amount of words you have!

another note, perhaps less helpful but a thought I had none the less, I love you your last line is the same as your title. It kind of bings the poem full circle, it completes it nicely.


uh well over all good work, loved reading this, keep writing, as always remember what was helpful and disregard the rest.

as always,
Wolf

I think you do an admirable job capturing the conflicting emotions of these dark moments. It's a hard line to walk in exploring subject matter surrounding difficult topics like sh through writing (which can be helpful in understanding and expressing those experiences) without glorifying the matter — something I feel you do quite well here.

My mind scatters

Quick, quick

At my skin pick

Make myself sick

You capture a familiar sense of urgency here; the overwhelming need to do something to ease the unrest, the pain.

Oh no

I've broke

A laugh

A burst of joy

Swelling pride

Victory, mine

The sense of accomplishment, the feeling of power over something when 'the world is quaking' —it's chilling. The victory is not in the act, there is not joy in this coping mechanism per say, but there is a broken, twisted pride that you capture quite clearing in few words.

Compelling work, thank you for sharing. I hope you have people in your corner going forward.