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Young Writers Society

Mother Earth

by Teddybear

How do we describe our dear Mother Earth?

With the loving embrace of summer, 

the sun's gentle kiss


With the first handshake of autumn, 

the leaves' tense whisper 


With the cruel bite of winter, 

the wind's piercing touch


With the kind smile of springtime, 

the plants' joyous grins


She is our mother,

our kind caretaker.

She offered her life to us, 

and we, cruelly, took it.

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7 Reviews

Points: 114
Reviews: 7

Thu Dec 09, 2021 3:07 pm
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D wrote a review...

Wow, I love how descriptive and rich in imagery this poem is. It's beautiful how you've captured a sad truth in splendid word-play. I think the repetition adds a strong touch and reiterates how terrible we have been in our treatment of Mother Earth.
"With the first handshake of autumn,
the leaves' tense whisper"
I'm going to remember these lines for a long time. Thank you for sharing!

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7 Reviews

Points: 115
Reviews: 7

Tue Dec 07, 2021 7:46 pm
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SimiDeJoie4 wrote a review...

This is a lovely poem. I like the way you use good imagery to describe various seasons. It's perfect! I don't know if the 'No' is a kind of refrain but if it was meant to be, then you just did what you wanted in the last four lines. Personification is the significant figure in this poem. It's brilliant for describing nature and you did a great job. Metaphor is also noticed in this poem. I like the way the poem boiled down to melancholy from playfulness. This is a beautiful piece. Well done.

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20 Reviews

Points: 349
Reviews: 20

Tue Dec 07, 2021 7:29 pm
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leleparadise wrote a review...

Hey, Lele here for a review

Wanted to start off by saying this was amazing

Loved the progression of the poem. Short, sweet, to the point.

Each season was described beautifully. The “no” in between I loved. A perfect pause in thought and change of thought. It was abrupt enough to transition smoothly without over wording or forcing it. Very smooth easy read.

Each season is known for something and how you described summer, fall and spring were really good. The way you used “cruel bite” for winter was a perfect description. Though I wish you used a stronger word than “wind” to follow up that thought.

The last line “and we, cruelly, took it” I felt was abruptly brought into the end. It felt like a purposeful punch in the gut and was effective. However I felt it didn’t fit fully with the theme of the whole poem. I would suggest removing that part and start a new poem talking about that. Maybe even create a cool contrast between the definition of life and death in Mother Nature to emphasize what is being taken. That way that line can feel more welded together with the poem.

I would love to read more. Beautiful work. Keep up the writing

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Points: 237
Reviews: 4

Thu Dec 02, 2021 3:52 pm
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thecautiouswriter says...

This poem is beautiful. While short, it portrays how humans take things for granted. After reading this piece, I reflected on how I view the world. I realized how much we turn away from what has already been given to us, and focus on what we want. I literally went outside and sat for a few minutes, just to admire nature. My senses kicked in and I remembered your poem and the way that you described fall. You did a fantastic job on this piece, keep it up!

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671 Reviews

Points: 80956
Reviews: 671

Thu Dec 02, 2021 2:15 am
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Plume wrote a review...

Hey there! Plume here, with a review!

I saw your poem in the literary spotlight (congrats!!) and felt like reviewing it! I really enjoyed reading it; I love the perspective you've taken of mother earth. I think that personification of nature, though not wholly original, is made newly fresh in your poem. Your rejuvenating imagery paired with that heartbreakingly true ending made this poem a true gem. Nice work!!

One thing I really enjoyed was your pattern and the imagery you were able to fit into it. I love love LOVED the progression through the seasons, and the way you characterized them was so delightful too!! My favorite was probably the "handshake of autumn;" I just think that one was so unique and innovative but somehow so true, too? Like I felt that line in my soul. The ending stanza, too, was gorgeous; I love the more somber tone you take. The simplicity and truth in that last line carry so much power and do all the talking for the poem. Overall, it's really well crafted and takes you through a sensory-rich journey through nature's seasons before reminding us that our planet is dying, which is absolutely beautiful.

One thing I did notice was your punctuation, especially the lack of it on your shorter lines. You used commas pretty regularly and question marks and periods sporadically. I thought that that mixing of the punctuation made me a little confused throughout. It was especially evident on your "no" lines. It didn't feel as final as it could have been with a period after it, you know? I also think that your questions throughout (the phrases starting with "with") are deserving of question marks. In my opinion, it would make the pattern clearer and flow better overall. Punctuation in poetry is an all-or-nothing thing to me, and I think it would make your poem more professional if you made it consistent throughout.

Overall: great job!! I think this poem encapsulates the beauty of nature and the tragedy that has befallen it. I hope to read more of your poetry on this site soon! Until next time!!

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912 Reviews

Points: 22
Reviews: 912

Tue Nov 30, 2021 11:37 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...

This is a very true poem,Earth offered life to us and as humans,we took it.We humans can be cruel to life at times.This was something nice and short to read.But I wonder,are there any positive writings on nature? Because the message seems to always be that humans are horrible monsters.It can be true at times,but it’d be nice to see something positive for a change.That’s it for my thoughts.Good poem and I hope you have a good day/night!

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39 Reviews

Points: 1524
Reviews: 39

Tue Nov 30, 2021 7:19 pm
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HikariHateke says...

Hi there kari here with a review!

Oh this is amazing!

I like how you did one for each season and then the last one is just in general?

Each line gave me a picture and it definitely took me places.

(With the loving embrace of summer,

the sun's gentle kiss)

This was My favorite line

Kudos to you! 💓

grammar is hard and i dislike it immensely
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