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there was a time when my friends included everyone who smiled back

by Sonder


when I was a child

a small child

maybe 5 or 6

I learned how to count on my fingers and toes

I learned that friends were those who smiled back at me

I learned how to cut paper hearts and how to write friendly letters

I learned how to read books about kisses

I dreamed of clear skies.


when I was a child

a bit of an older child

maybe 8 or 9

I learned to count the points written in red ink, to care about a grade

I learned that friends were those who you played with at recess

I learned how to cut up different words and make stories of my own

I learned to write stories about kisses

I dreamed of brainstorms, full of imagination to explore.


when I was a child

an older child

maybe 11 or 12

I learned how to count my friends

I learned that not everyone liked me, we were not all amigos

I learned how to cut up the insults and shred them with my tears

I learned how not all books are about kisses

most are about heartbreak inside

I dreamed of the summer and weekends.


when I was a child

a fresh teen

maybe 13 or 14

I learned that counting friends was foolish, that the numbers fluctuate too fast

I learned that even my friends could hate me, maybe all of them did

I learned to cut up and cover my suspicions in jokes and makeup

I learned that there are a lot of books on fixing yourself

that maybe we were all broken to start with

and maybe I was just the last one to realize that I wasn’t okay

I dreamed of returning to my home, of finally being alone.


when I was a child

an older teen

maybe 16 or 17

I learned that having enough friends to count was a blessing

I learned that no one hated me, not really

I learned to cut up past pain and scatter it behind me

I learned that hiding my true self was suffocating and I was running low on air

I learned that a lot books are about redemption

and maybe we all go through rough patches at one point or another

and those moments shape and form us into who we are today

I dreamed of the future.


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Mon Jan 06, 2020 12:40 am
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MeherazulAzim16 wrote a review...



It's great cause it's true. Makes me think. Just how much character development every kid goes through.

And to realize, when the arc is over, they aren't even kids anymore. Another arc's already in motion. Whoever wrote this system clearly doesn't like fillers.

Also, maybe it's just another way of realizing: It's not the end, it's the journey.

You have yourself a good day, Sonder. Hope you keep on writing.

Excelsior!

~MAS




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Wed Feb 27, 2019 7:47 pm
LadyGemstone says...



"there was a time when my friends included everyone who smiled back"

That is still me give or take ten people that may smile back ( which is unlikely) who aren't my friends not because I have that many people who want to be friend but because I have like fifteen enemies.




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Thu Feb 15, 2018 5:18 pm
Bellarke says...



This poem was great!
"when I was a child

a bit of an older child

maybe 8 or 9

I learned to count the points written in red ink, to care about a grade

I learned that friends were those who you played with at recess

I learned how to cut up different words and make stories of my own

I learned to write stories about kisses

I dreamed of brainstorms, full of imagination to explore." SAME!!




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Mon Sep 25, 2017 5:39 pm
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TheBlueCat wrote a review...



This poem is just plain amazing! I can definitely relate to the "friends were those who smiled back at me" when I was young! Honestly, my best friend in kindergarten was the person who came in the 2nd day of school, sat next to me in class, and smiled at me! I cannot yet relate to the older teen stanza and just barely the fresh teen one, but I still love this poem! I can't even criticize this poem because it's just great! Keep up the great poems! :D




Sonder says...


Thanks!



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Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:56 am
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DarshayataDeka wrote a review...



Just read this amazing poem. It made my day. Initially, I had assumed that this poem would be one of those "life sucks" types but the last stanza (which also happened to be my favorite one) changed all that. Everything about this poem is beautiful and realistic, including the title. The grammar and the style of writing is smooth and perfect. Above all, honesty shines in every line. No wonder it has abled to recieve 100+ likes. Keep up the briliant work!




Sonder says...


Aww, thank you! I appreciate it!





You are welcome, PP!!!
(P.S. PP does not stand for Poop and Pee, here. Its for "Perfectionist Poet")



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Sun Apr 02, 2017 5:08 am
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Niteesh wrote a review...



Always rolls back the years when we read such kind of amazing things.Too good I would say.
The repetition was perfectly framed.
Perfectly defined the first 20 years.
Many people say growing up sucks,but the way you have understood your life,the way you took positivity out of it is pleasing .
"I learned that having enough friends to count was a blessing" this line was the best.
keep going mate, an absolute masterpiece.




Sonder says...


Thank you!



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Sun Nov 15, 2015 11:27 am
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Mea says...



I still love this. <3




Sonder says...


Aww, thank you. <3



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Wed Jul 22, 2015 6:08 pm
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Konijn says...



Truly brilliant!




Sonder says...


Thank you! :)



Konijn says...


No problem!



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Tue Jul 21, 2015 6:02 pm
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Persistence says...



I just had to come down here and comment on this.

This is one the finest works of art I have ever encountered.




Sonder says...


Aw, why thank you. :)



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Tue Jul 21, 2015 5:53 pm
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Kaylaa says...



Perfection.




Sonder says...


Thank you! :D



Kaylaa says...


You don't have to say thank you, you're the one pooping rainbows and writing perfection :D



Sonder says...


Okay. XD



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Tue Jul 21, 2015 8:05 am
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willachilles says...



Aaaand 69 likes now!

LOVED THIS POEM THINGY.

Touched my heart.

*spreads love* <3




Sonder says...


Aw, thank you so much! :D



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Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:52 am
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Corncob says...



Double feature?! Yay!




Sonder says...


Wah I knooooow! I'm so happy! :D



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Mon Jul 20, 2015 11:51 pm
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CuriosityCat says...



Excuse me, but I think there must have been a mistake. Someone, in a truly grievous moment of absent thought, has not equipped "Love" "Adore" "OMG" "Did Shakespeare Write This?" and "THISISLITERALLYTOOFABULOUSFORWORDS" buttons on this work. We must rectify this. Your poem totally needs them.




Sonder says...


Awww. Thanks dude! That means a lot. Especially since this work has been recycled back to the spotlight! :D



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Sat Jan 10, 2015 8:41 pm
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Nightshade21 says...



This is really great and it shows the thoughts everyone has. It was a really awesome poem that brings the reader in and never lets go. The best stanza I thought was the end becuase it was the most relate able, finally seeing to be yourself it was great. Nothing wrong that I could see either :)
~Nightshade22




Sonder says...


Thank you! :)



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Sat Jan 10, 2015 8:09 pm
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Corncob says...



*Claps* I love it. *Adds to collection of YWS favorites.*




Sonder says...


Thanks 1! X3



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Sat Jan 10, 2015 4:43 pm
Castiel wrote a review...



Hey there! Castiel Here for a review!
Firstly, In The last stanza, you have
"I learned that a lot books are about redemption"
im going to guess you forgot to add in the "of". Make sure you read over your work a few times to check for errors before you publish.
I think Other than that, you did an amazing job. It really conveys the emotion and feelings. I love how you did each childhood era. It shows the change that everyone goes through and a child. As a child everything seems so innocent, and then you grow up.
Good job and keep writing!!!
your YWS neighbor,
~Castiel, Angel of the Lord




Sonder says...


Thanks for the review! I'm not sure what you mean by that being an error, it's exactly what I was meaning to say... Anyways, thanks again!



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racket says...



Oh! I love it!!!




Sonder says...


Fabulous! Thanks!



racket says...


Welcome! ^.^



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ladcat13 says...



Aaahh! I love it! Pure genius!




Sonder says...


Thanks! :)



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Fri Jan 09, 2015 1:03 am
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Tay01 wrote a review...



Wow, well straight to the point of your poem right here.

To start with, your poem is pretty much every childhood's life. And if I were to write this poem, I would have never thought of writing it this way. Great job.

And if I'm not mistaken, you are writing this when you are an adult, flashing back to their early years as a childhood.

Not too bad, I like it, I want to congratulate your thinking of this idea. *BIG ROUND APPLAUSE*

~~Tay01.




Sonder says...


Thank you! Well, considering I'm not an adult yet, I went as far as I could. :P Thanks again!



Tay01 says...


wow...far imagination..exactly what a good writer needs



Tay01 says...


wow...far imagination..exactly what a good writer needs



Tay01 says...


wow...far imagination..exactly what a good writer needs



Tay01 says...


Could you check out my new post? It's a dialogue and a rather silly one.
https://www.google.com/url?q=https://ww ... c_jNIUEHqA



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Thu Jan 08, 2015 11:45 pm
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My mind is blown




Sonder says...


Thanks dude.



Sonder says...


Thanks dude.



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Rin321 wrote a review...



This was beautiful! It was like the story of out lives, and so true! We all go through these things, and what we all learn! I am only halfway, but now I kinda know what to expect. These things really connected with me, and touched my heart. I loved it, and you soooooo deserved your #1 in the spotlight! This was one one of the greatest poems ever! Great job, and I hope to hear more from you! Keep Writing!




Sonder says...


Thank you!



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Dragongirl says...



Wow, powerful words! This poem was beautiful, lace with heartache and hope, just like life is.
I love this line;

"I dream of brainstorms, full of imagination to explore."

The imagery is superb and breathtaking here. I love it. The second I read it I imagined sailing into a storm, (not just any storm though, a brainstorm,) to find adventures of the imagination. It is often that the written word jerks me to another place but every line of your poem did that pulling me to memories of the past.

Now that what I call some dang fine writing!




Sonder says...


Thank you!



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Thu Jan 08, 2015 4:56 pm
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GeeLyria says...



Lovely.




Sonder says...


Thank you!



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fortis wrote a review...



Hi!
I love this poem. It speaks to me on a personal level, because I think I went through pretty much the same thing, and I see a lot of people doing the same. That said, this is probably a very personal poem for you, so I try not to shred it too much.

I don’t really like those last two lines—they read as too preachy for me. I know you need an ending, so maybe you could think of something that plays on the images of the things you just created.
Note: in the rest of this review I’m not going to consider those lines as a “stanza” because they’re so different from the rest of the poem, which is what I’m going to focus on now.

My favorite part was the progression of the books. They gave me shivers. :)

I liked how everything echoed down "I learned (how to count," "I learned (about books)" etc. I don't always like that, but you mixed it up enough for me to enjoy it. However there are some places that I thought were just kind of clunky and unneeded. For example, in my opinion, I don’t really like the first two lines of every stanza. I don’t feel like I’m getting much out of them, I guess. I’m not sure how you should fix it though, so maybe it’s good the way it is.

I also missed the thing about cutting things in the last two stanzas. Do you think you could work a way for those stanzas to have something being cut in them (in the correct line of course)?

I kind of don’t like any of the last lines of any of the stanzas. It’s that preachy thing again. The reader can conjecture why you’re dreaming of those places. Most of the lines you have there come off as pretty pretentious. I recommend just striking the last lines. But that would make “I dream of my bedroom” sound a little strange, so maybe you could say “I dream of returning to my bedroom” or something. And perhaps you could put a line with more oomph at the end? I’m not sure.

Anyway, I like how this poem progressed. You did a nice job. ^-^
Keep writing!
~fortis




Sonder says...


Thank you for the suggestions, fortis! I agree with a lot of your points. I'll get on that. Thanks again!



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Thu Jan 08, 2015 4:39 pm
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Lenora742 wrote a review...



Hello there! Just thought I'd stop by and review this lovely piece you wrote! :D

I love this poem. I can relate to it (I think many kids/teens/adults can too). As Kortez mentioned, it really does capture the life of a kid growing up into adulthood, with all the different phases and knowledge we gain along the way. I saw absolutely no errors, and I have no suggestions either, as this poem is written to perfection. You're writing style is superb, and the flow of the poem was smooth & enjoyable. The ending sentences were a perfect way to end the poem, and they are still fresh in my mind. I hope the very same thing, and I think many people do once that realization hits. You did an excellent job writing a relatable & meaningful poem. :)




Sonder says...


Thank you!



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Thu Jan 08, 2015 3:58 pm
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Kortez wrote a review...



Hello~! <3
Well. This poem.
This poem.
Is amazing.
I swear. And the greatest part about it is that almost everything about it is completely true. It captures what the life of a kid/teen really is, and how friends really are. And for that, I completely applaud you. Bravo. :D
Because, in reality, life really isn't butterflies and rainbows like everyone makes it out to be in the media. This poem really portrays what a kid goes through in life, all of the changes, the phases...amazing. This is seriously the best poem I have ever read. Really.
I didn't see one error at all. It was just so perfect. <3
Keep writing, my friend~.
Have a great day~! <3
~Kortez




Sonder says...


Thanks so much! :)


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shreya16 says...


love it.....:-)



Sonder says...


Thanks! :)





This poem is truly inspiring I have never seen a more touching and e!optional piece. I feel like everyone can relate. I definitely can! Thank you for sharing something really meaningful.




It's a dramatic situation almost every time you answer the phone—if you answer the phone.
— Matthew Weiner