there was a time when my friends included everyone who smiled back

Hello, there! Avi speaking
When I first saw this poem and began to read it, I expected it to be sad, nostalgic, and all about the loss of human kindness and basic decency. And it was, for a stanza or so. But there was such happiness and excitement, too, which is lovely, beautiful, and inspiring to have in a poem. Yes, there is darkness, but there is also light. And this poem showcased it wonderfully. When you grow and get older, you do not have to cut the light out of your life. You shouldn't be told to stop your excitement because it's too childlike a quality in the eyes of society. You do not have to be a mask made to please everybody. You can be you. Breathe. Face the future and ready yourself for redemption.
This is an incredible poem, and I can't wait to read more of your work! <3

This poem really speaks to me.

I hope someday I can learn how to "cut up past pain and scatter it behind me."

I love how you repeated the way you wrote the words in each stanza but how each one told a story.
Your line about cutting up words and making stories is wonderful. All of this poem is wonderful, really.

Your formatting of the stanzas is brilliant! The way you began each stanza with "when I was a child" shows that the character is reflecting on being young, and that they have gone far from when they were a child.

There is absolutely nothing in this poem that needs to be changed or improved.

I feel seen and validated by your words. Thank you for writing this.

I loved this! It ws so realistic and sort of sad. I can also relate to when I was young I would walk up to someone and go "You want to be friends?" and they say yes, while now if you do that you just sound weird and people walk away, roll their eyes, and ask questions about your maturity level. This was so true!

It's great cause it's true. Makes me think. Just how much character development every kid goes through.

And to realize, when the arc is over, they aren't even kids anymore. Another arc's already in motion. Whoever wrote this system clearly doesn't like fillers.

Also, maybe it's just another way of realizing: It's not the end, it's the journey.

You have yourself a good day, Sonder. Hope you keep on writing.

Excelsior!

~MAS

"there was a time when my friends included everyone who smiled back"

That is still me give or take ten people that may smile back ( which is unlikely) who aren't my friends not because I have that many people who want to be friend but because I have like fifteen enemies.

This poem was great!
"when I was a child

a bit of an older child

maybe 8 or 9

I learned to count the points written in red ink, to care about a grade

I learned that friends were those who you played with at recess

I learned how to cut up different words and make stories of my own

I learned to write stories about kisses

I dreamed of brainstorms, full of imagination to explore." SAME!!

This poem is just plain amazing! I can definitely relate to the "friends were those who smiled back at me" when I was young! Honestly, my best friend in kindergarten was the person who came in the 2nd day of school, sat next to me in class, and smiled at me! I cannot yet relate to the older teen stanza and just barely the fresh teen one, but I still love this poem! I can't even criticize this poem because it's just great! Keep up the great poems!

Just read this amazing poem. It made my day. Initially, I had assumed that this poem would be one of those "life sucks" types but the last stanza (which also happened to be my favorite one) changed all that. Everything about this poem is beautiful and realistic, including the title. The grammar and the style of writing is smooth and perfect. Above all, honesty shines in every line. No wonder it has abled to recieve 100+ likes. Keep up the briliant work!

Always rolls back the years when we read such kind of amazing things.Too good I would say.
The repetition was perfectly framed.
Perfectly defined the first 20 years.
Many people say growing up sucks,but the way you have understood your life,the way you took positivity out of it is pleasing .
"I learned that having enough friends to count was a blessing" this line was the best.
keep going mate, an absolute masterpiece.

I still love this. <3

Truly brilliant!

I just had to come down here and comment on this.

This is one the finest works of art I have ever encountered.

Perfection.

Aaaand 69 likes now!

LOVED THIS POEM THINGY.

Touched my heart.

*spreads love* <3

Double feature?! Yay!

Excuse me, but I think there must have been a mistake. Someone, in a truly grievous moment of absent thought, has not equipped "Love" "Adore" "OMG" "Did Shakespeare Write This?" and "THISISLITERALLYTOOFABULOUSFORWORDS" buttons on this work. We must rectify this. Your poem totally needs them.

This is really great and it shows the thoughts everyone has. It was a really awesome poem that brings the reader in and never lets go. The best stanza I thought was the end becuase it was the most relate able, finally seeing to be yourself it was great. Nothing wrong that I could see either
~Nightshade22

*Claps* I love it. *Adds to collection of YWS favorites.*

Hey there! Castiel Here for a review!
Firstly, In The last stanza, you have
"I learned that a lot books are about redemption"
im going to guess you forgot to add in the "of". Make sure you read over your work a few times to check for errors before you publish.
I think Other than that, you did an amazing job. It really conveys the emotion and feelings. I love how you did each childhood era. It shows the change that everyone goes through and a child. As a child everything seems so innocent, and then you grow up.
Good job and keep writing!!!
your YWS neighbor,
~Castiel, Angel of the Lord

Oh! I love it!!!

Aaahh! I love it! Pure genius!

Wow, well straight to the point of your poem right here.

To start with, your poem is pretty much every childhood's life. And if I were to write this poem, I would have never thought of writing it this way. Great job.

And if I'm not mistaken, you are writing this when you are an adult, flashing back to their early years as a childhood.

Not too bad, I like it, I want to congratulate your thinking of this idea. *BIG ROUND APPLAUSE*

~~Tay01.

My mind is blown

This was beautiful! It was like the story of out lives, and so true! We all go through these things, and what we all learn! I am only halfway, but now I kinda know what to expect. These things really connected with me, and touched my heart. I loved it, and you soooooo deserved your #1 in the spotlight! This was one one of the greatest poems ever! Great job, and I hope to hear more from you! Keep Writing!

Wow, powerful words! This poem was beautiful, lace with heartache and hope, just like life is.
I love this line;

"I dream of brainstorms, full of imagination to explore."

The imagery is superb and breathtaking here. I love it. The second I read it I imagined sailing into a storm, (not just any storm though, a brainstorm,) to find adventures of the imagination. It is often that the written word jerks me to another place but every line of your poem did that pulling me to memories of the past.

Now that what I call some dang fine writing!

Lovely.

Hi!
I love this poem. It speaks to me on a personal level, because I think I went through pretty much the same thing, and I see a lot of people doing the same. That said, this is probably a very personal poem for you, so I try not to shred it too much.

I don’t really like those last two lines—they read as too preachy for me. I know you need an ending, so maybe you could think of something that plays on the images of the things you just created.
Note: in the rest of this review I’m not going to consider those lines as a “stanza” because they’re so different from the rest of the poem, which is what I’m going to focus on now.

My favorite part was the progression of the books. They gave me shivers.

I liked how everything echoed down "I learned (how to count," "I learned (about books)" etc. I don't always like that, but you mixed it up enough for me to enjoy it. However there are some places that I thought were just kind of clunky and unneeded. For example, in my opinion, I don’t really like the first two lines of every stanza. I don’t feel like I’m getting much out of them, I guess. I’m not sure how you should fix it though, so maybe it’s good the way it is.

I also missed the thing about cutting things in the last two stanzas. Do you think you could work a way for those stanzas to have something being cut in them (in the correct line of course)?

I kind of don’t like any of the last lines of any of the stanzas. It’s that preachy thing again. The reader can conjecture why you’re dreaming of those places. Most of the lines you have there come off as pretty pretentious. I recommend just striking the last lines. But that would make “I dream of my bedroom” sound a little strange, so maybe you could say “I dream of returning to my bedroom” or something. And perhaps you could put a line with more oomph at the end? I’m not sure.

Anyway, I like how this poem progressed. You did a nice job. ^-^
Keep writing!
~fortis

Hello there! Just thought I'd stop by and review this lovely piece you wrote!

I love this poem. I can relate to it (I think many kids/teens/adults can too). As Kortez mentioned, it really does capture the life of a kid growing up into adulthood, with all the different phases and knowledge we gain along the way. I saw absolutely no errors, and I have no suggestions either, as this poem is written to perfection. You're writing style is superb, and the flow of the poem was smooth & enjoyable. The ending sentences were a perfect way to end the poem, and they are still fresh in my mind. I hope the very same thing, and I think many people do once that realization hits. You did an excellent job writing a relatable & meaningful poem.

Hello~! <3
Well. This poem.
This poem.
Is amazing.
I swear. And the greatest part about it is that almost everything about it is completely true. It captures what the life of a kid/teen really is, and how friends really are. And for that, I completely applaud you. Bravo.
Because, in reality, life really isn't butterflies and rainbows like everyone makes it out to be in the media. This poem really portrays what a kid goes through in life, all of the changes, the phases...amazing. This is seriously the best poem I have ever read. Really.
I didn't see one error at all. It was just so perfect. <3
Keep writing, my friend~.
Have a great day~! <3
~Kortez