we are tectonic plates, you and i.
hold me tight as the world spins, darling.
shaking and shuddering we
are constantly ripping apart and
smashing back together in
forced displays of affection, with
wilted flowers trapped between
stiff joints and strained smiles.
i would adore beautiful tragedies if it weren't for
so many lives lost and forgotten.
in our dance on jagged glass shards
(or is it suicide?) you'd always
twist forward like the hurricane you are,
lips puckered fat, then
twirl away before i could snatch your ears and
make you listen for once,
(do you hear what i'm saying?
does my tongue form the words?)
i love you i hate you and i just need some time
maybe, if i caught you, i'd even
kiss you for once, but instead
all i can hear are sounds of the earth
fracturing.
"you two were simply made for each other"
you like to grab my hand but every time
you squeeze far too hard and
i can't rip away but
tectonic plates aren't meant to be
still.
the earth adores change, and maybe
so do i.
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139,388 Literary Works • 672,542 Reviews
Three words.
I love this.
I would follow you if I weren't already.
Aww, thank you!
Anytime. You deserved it.
Dude. This is absolutely beautiful. I'm considering transferring it to a pretty font and framing it. I entirely adore this piece, and while I considered, I'd never be able to review it because I have no realm for suggestions or criticisms, as this travels so far above my head, into the galaxies beyond, floating amidst stars of literary genius. Much love for this piece, and for you of course.
Paige
Aw. Thanks so much, lovely! That means so much to me.
You were Lovely, and I was Fishy, remember.
Haha, sorry. I've been calling my friends lovely for a long time now. XD
Hey, yo, Nightcrawler! Strange here on this fantastic Review Day and I have a review for you!
Let me start out by saying, I'm a big fan of your poetry. It touches upon subjects that I'm not fond of, but you find the way to access the majority of the potential. I was not upset when I read this because it went beyond my expectations. This was a pretty darn good work, and I give you major props for it. There are certain aspects that I was especially fond of, so I'll go into them first. Let's jump in, shall we?
Break-up/heartbreak poetry is common to the point where it gets on my nerves to read and review. It always talks about having double thoughts about the relationship and trying to make the reader feel this false feeling of heartbreak. The poem does do this, but you had this really interesting comparison to tectonic plates and the Earth moving which brought this neat flair to it. Along with talking about forced affection, you made this strong. I love that.
I make a huge deal about having a strong beginning and ending. This was a straight forward set up, basically telling the audience what was going to happen in this poem. It's not the most unique start, though, since poems that do this mostly start with "you and I are [insert thing here]". However, this was like a good movie. You know something is going to happen, it's a bit predictable, but you still really enjoy it anyways.
I really really like this line, since it started to draw a bit of emotion out of me. Good job.
Technical problem! You misspelled "would". This was a raw line, which is good. Raw poetry is best poetry, some would say, since it feels extremely real. I'm going to praise this poem about that fact because it's pretty darn neat to see.
Okay, for some reason, I can't copy the part I want to copy, so I'll just try to touch upon it. The best section of this poem starts with the "ear grabbing" and ends with the "needing space" line because wow. I enjoy poetry where it feels that someone is speaking from the insides of their heart, not saying things already thought about. It felt real, man. This whole poem is real.
This can be taken two ways, as a friend saying that the MC and the love interest were made for each other, or the fact that tectonic plates are meant for each other. Ayy.
Strong ending for strong poem.
The only small problem I had with this is how you cut the lines up. I must say, you chose some odd places to hit enter. Mid phrase, it would jump to the next line. It makes it a tad bit harder to follow. People don't really like more lines than needed, and it did that. I still really liked this and I was happy I got to review this.
Good job, keep writing, and stay groovy!
Wow, Strange. This was such an amazing review. I really appreciate you taking time to tell me why you like certain parts so I can keep doing it, as well as giving awesome suggestions to improve. I'll definitely take this into account.
I also chose funky breaking of lines to show the disjointed-ness of this relationship, but I also just like being quirky. XD Thanks so much again! This was a lovely review.
Hey there Kat here to review for the fire nation ! Excuse typos I'm using an iPhone .
So , I really loved this ! It painted a lot of beautiful images in my mind and I adored the fact that I haven't really ever seen a piece quit like this . No just the strange formatting , but the analogy of love and Pangea giving it more of ... Personification ? I don't know sorry ... Tripping over myself .
However I really feel like maybe there's just to much going on here. The thing in the second line and you did it in some other lines ... What is that ? I think maybe you have two desperate ideas you tried to make one thing and I think it just would have flowed better had you focused purely on your comparison . Though , the confusion does help the reader really understand this person feelings of love intermingled with doubt and that made it more relatable . You can't have tire love without doubt . One last thing , try reading our poems out loud and fixing anything that SOUNDS out of place or choppy .
Thanks for this delightfully different and refreshingly new piece of literature ~
Kat
Thanks for the review! I'll take that into account.
this was a really good, creative piece of work. I liked how you compared two lovers to tectonic plates... that is a sign of a smart writer. I can relate to this in a lot of ways. The descriptions are wonderful, and I like the emotion added/intense feelings
Thank you!