Define a Lady
By what she 'should' be;
A silent creature,
That you barely see
Wrapped in blankets of protection
Dusted with beauty.
Define this Lady
With the pale green eyes,
And lips that smile
As they pour out lies
And ears that refuse to hear
The endless, tormented cries
Define a Queen,
Atop her elevated station
Chained and bloodied,
Howling in elation
That she has won
Through liquid dedication
Define this Queen,
Who whips her hounds
With the same chains that hold her,
So that they cover the grounds
With false ambition
And empty, echoing sounds.
Define a King
Who watched her ascend
And, bound by these chains,
Dares to pretend
That all love is for her alone,
Without any end
Define this King
Who lusts for it all
Lifting the silver horn
To release that dreaded call
As he sweeps her up; let's go;
And watches her fall.
Define a Child
Born of false passion
With only so much soul
With which he can ration
As he steps up to the balcony
Everything fake and ashen
Define this Child
That must face the unknown
As the hounds flee to the hills
He faces it as all must: Alone.
Hateful Father, fallen Mother,
And this accursed throne.
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Hello!
Stegosaurus here for a review!
From what the two reviewers before me, this poem has a deep meaning and I love poem with that deep meaning- that makes the reader double over in reading to understand it completely and I like it when poems do that. I enjoyed the definition of a 'lady' and the symbol it has in the poem along with the 'king' and 'queen' and I liked it. Also I liked the imagery in the first few stanzas of this poem.
What I got from this piece is that the queen is the dominant between the king and her while the king is more greedy for the money and such. The child, to me, would be the left over between the king and queen.
I liked this poem for its diction and tone of it; it all seems mysterious and the suspenseful as I continue you. I liked the ending, as the child gets the throne while the king is hated by his only children and the mother has fallen due to rumors being spread by her (?). Overall, good work and I hopefully will read more of your work!
If you want me to cover something, let me know!
Steggy
Hi! Sarah here to review. I have to agree with Prez. Turtles down there. This is such a well written poem, I would think that more people would read it! The only think I would find a little distracting is the stanzas. They are not quite as defined as I would normally like them to be. But if you think of it, it kind of goes with the flow of the poem. Did you do that on purpose? I can never tell.
Keep writing, as always! I shall now go read your other poems. I want more!
Hi Sarah! Thanks for the review


Actually, the formatting in YWS is very strange; there's a lot of shift entering and spacing and all that jazz, and it gets hard to tell what the spacing is. When I'm writing it, it looks well-spaced, but when I publish it, it condenses. I'll try and fix that up
Thank you again! I appreciate it
Okay, so to make a new line, you do Shift Enter, to make a new stanza, it is just enter. I had that problem too, with my first poems.
This has a deep meaning behind it that could actually relate to things that happen on a day-to-day basis. If you take it the way I do, I personally think that the "queen" is the woman who spreads rumors and lies and calls people names just to feel better about herself. The "king" is the man who pretends to love her and watches her do these cruel actions, though he probably only wants her for her body and looks and nothing more. The child, is, well, the child of these two, whose parents are too busy worrying about their own personal matters than their son or are simply abusive to him. The son grows up alone with no one to help him. That's the way I take it, whether it was meant to be taken that way or not, I'm not so sure.
However, I loved this piece all together. It was really a splendid piece of literature and I loved it. Great job on portraying the actions and personalities of the "king," "queen," and child! You should keep writing things like this and build up even more skill. I'd love to read another one of your works that matches or goes beyond what you've shown here!
~Prez. T
Thanks, Prez. Turtles (I love your username
so fun!)
I was worried it wouldn't get across, so I'm really happy you caught onto it.
I really appreciate it!
You pretty much got the meaning spot-on.
Thank you for the review
Your welcome! It really is a lovely poem and I'm shocked it hasn't gotten a lot of views.