Definition Lost

by Sherri

Published February 1, 2015

E - Everyone

In Poetry 2014

Define a Lady

By what she 'should' be;

A silent creature, 

That you barely see

Wrapped in blankets of protection

Dusted with beauty.

Define this Lady

With the pale green eyes,

And lips that smile

As they pour out lies

And ears that refuse to hear

The endless, tormented cries

Define a Queen,

Atop her elevated station

Chained and bloodied,

Howling in elation

That she has won

Through liquid dedication

Define this Queen,

Who whips her hounds

With the same chains that hold her,

So that they cover the grounds

With false ambition

And empty, echoing sounds.

Define a King

Who watched her ascend

And, bound by these chains,

Dares to pretend

That all love is for her alone,

Without any end

Define this King

Who lusts for it all

Lifting the silver horn

To release that dreaded call

As he sweeps her up; let's go;

And watches her fall.

Define a Child

Born of false passion

With only so much soul

With which he can ration

As he steps up to the balcony

Everything fake and ashen

Define this Child

That must face the unknown

As the hounds flee to the hills

He faces it as all must: Alone.

Hateful Father, fallen Mother,

And this accursed throne.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
Steggy
Review
Steggy wrote a review Review · Sep 13, 2015

Hello!

Stegosaurus here for a review!

From what the two reviewers before me, this poem has a deep meaning and I love poem with that deep meaning- that makes the reader double over in reading to understand it completely and I like it when poems do that. I enjoyed the definition of a 'lady' and the symbol it has in the poem along with the 'king' and 'queen' and I liked it. Also I liked the imagery in the first few stanzas of this poem.
What I got from this piece is that the queen is the dominant between the king and her while the king is more greedy for the money and such. The child, to me, would be the left over between the king and queen.

I liked this poem for its diction and tone of it; it all seems mysterious and the suspenseful as I continue you. I liked the ending, as the child gets the throne while the king is hated by his only children and the mother has fallen due to rumors being spread by her (?). Overall, good work and I hopefully will read more of your work!
If you want me to cover something, let me know!

Steggy

User avatar
Sarah12
Review
Sarah12 wrote a review Review · Feb 2, 2015

Hi! Sarah here to review. I have to agree with Prez. Turtles down there. This is such a well written poem, I would think that more people would read it! The only think I would find a little distracting is the stanzas. They are not quite as defined as I would normally like them to be. But if you think of it, it kind of goes with the flow of the poem. Did you do that on purpose? I can never tell.

Keep writing, as always! I shall now go read your other poems. I want more!

Sherri replied · Feb 2, 2015

Hi Sarah! Thanks for the review :)
Actually, the formatting in YWS is very strange; there's a lot of shift entering and spacing and all that jazz, and it gets hard to tell what the spacing is. When I'm writing it, it looks well-spaced, but when I publish it, it condenses. I'll try and fix that up :)
Thank you again! I appreciate it :D

Sarah12 replied · Feb 2, 2015

Okay, so to make a new line, you do Shift Enter, to make a new stanza, it is just enter. I had that problem too, with my first poems.

XPresidentTurtlesX wrote a review Review · Feb 1, 2015

This has a deep meaning behind it that could actually relate to things that happen on a day-to-day basis. If you take it the way I do, I personally think that the "queen" is the woman who spreads rumors and lies and calls people names just to feel better about herself. The "king" is the man who pretends to love her and watches her do these cruel actions, though he probably only wants her for her body and looks and nothing more. The child, is, well, the child of these two, whose parents are too busy worrying about their own personal matters than their son or are simply abusive to him. The son grows up alone with no one to help him. That's the way I take it, whether it was meant to be taken that way or not, I'm not so sure.
However, I loved this piece all together. It was really a splendid piece of literature and I loved it. Great job on portraying the actions and personalities of the "king," "queen," and child! You should keep writing things like this and build up even more skill. I'd love to read another one of your works that matches or goes beyond what you've shown here!
~Prez. T

Sherri replied · Feb 2, 2015

Thanks, Prez. Turtles (I love your username :D so fun!)
You pretty much got the meaning spot-on. :) I was worried it wouldn't get across, so I'm really happy you caught onto it.
Thank you for the review :) I really appreciate it!

Your welcome! It really is a lovely poem and I'm shocked it hasn't gotten a lot of views.



The bigger the issue, the smaller you write. Remember that. You don’t write about the horrors of war. No. You write about a kid’s burnt socks lying on the road. You pick the smallest manageable part of the big thing, and you work off the resonance.
— Richard Price