Circus Dancer

by Sherri

Published August 26, 2014

E - Everyone

In Poetry 2014

Caught in the rain

In that never-ending pain

of dancing till your feet grow sore.

But you're pressed into the storm;

it's become quite the norm;

a feeling that you've never but always felt before

*

You may never take a break

For the Ringmaster's sake,

Digging into your own determination.

An angel with no wings on her back;

Yet the feathers fall, darker than black,

as you seek personal salvation.

*

So you kick up a foot

and dance in the soot

and face the crowd as they stare.

You flip just for fun

and watch only one

since the audience isn't really there.

*

In this tent full of souls

Each member to all roles

Not disputed because there's nothing to discuss.

Where each costume is grand

as they bow and they stand

in this there-but-not-there circus.

*

She dances for memory

and the things she can't see,

because she is sightless with every breath.

But the Ringmaster is there,

And she is his heir,

So she'll take this burden till death.

*

In a circus of sight

that dances in the night,

the Ringmaster mourns for his daughter.

As she lays in her bed,

she can't see they're all dead,

forever dancing in the memory's slaughter.

Comments & reviews · 5
User avatar
donizback
Comment
donizback commented Comment · Apr 17, 2015

This is just brilliant!
How can you write so awesome?
I would love to print this and keep it with myself, if you allow me!
Amazing stuff, Sherri!

Sherri replied · Apr 17, 2015

Thanks donizback :D I really appreciate it!
Uh... a lot of practice xD That, and I wrote this during a rough patch in my life. Poetry like this usually comes out best when you're at a point to fully relate to it.
Sure, you can print it if you want. Just if you use it for anything other than having it on file, let me know first. :)
Thanks again! :D (And I prefer to go by Sherri up here; at least in reviews and wall posts :D PMs are fine, of course, but I prefer Sherri otherwise. Most of my buddies call me Sherri anyways xD )

Ah, I see. I know, right? Those poems which you write with your personal experience are just so awesome. They have those feelings inside of it.
No! I would just keep it in my diary. It's just so awesome.
And, thanks for telling. I wasn't sure as to what to say. I'll edit my post too. :)

Sherri replied · Apr 19, 2015

Yeah, I love it when poetry can capture emotion like that :D Your poetry has a lot of emotion in it as well; it makes it seem all the more realistic :)
And thanks for understanding ! :D I just don't like using my real name online for both privacy and personal reasons is all :)
And thank you so much! I'm so happy you loved the poem so much!! :D

User avatar
Ljungtroll
Review
Ljungtroll wrote a review Review · Sep 29, 2014

What inspired you to write this poem? It was really dark, but in an awesomely creepy way. I've never really thought about creepy circus people except for today and the time I watched Something Wicked This Way Comes. Are you familiar with the title?? It's about Satan in the form of a circus ringmaster. You should consider watching it. It ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!

Sherri replied · Sep 29, 2014

That actually sounds really interesting! I'll have to check it out sometime! I've been obsessed with the idea of the circus for a while now. There's an entire pile of poetry, short stories, and novel drafts circus-related in the corner of my room--and in the drawers, and stuffed under the bed, and somehow shoved into the closet... ahem. Anyways. There's a lot. XD
Thanks for leaving a review! I like to hear what people think, and appreciate it more than you know :D

I know. Believe me, I have experience with that sort of thing.

ThePatchworkPilgrims wrote a review Review · Aug 31, 2014

Greetings Sherri!
First and formost I say Happy Review Day.to you! May there be many more to come!
Secondly, I have to (unfortunately) keep this short and sweet (or, if you don't like sweet, please insert your flavour of choice), because my parents are tellingme I'm supposed to be sleeping (because I technically am, but no matter...)
Now, the serious stuff. I am going to run through vocabulary, grammar and general misfakes (or praises.)
Vocabulary: There is nothing I can critize about your vocabulary, and would actually like to applaud you on being able to rhyme words so effectively AND to use those words to create a literary image, which put me into this specific situation. Bravo.
Grammar: Now here I DID occur some errors. Nothing major, don't worry, mostly just punctuation errors.
Just a few commas (two, if I-- yes two) that I think ought to have been there. But, that's just my opinion, and I don't really write poetry (limericks, yes, but that's different).
General comments: You kept a nice steady rythm, and had an interesting way of keeping my attention through the piece. I also like how the plot becomes darker and gloomier until it reaches its climax in the last stanza. This piece can also actually refer to many other topics in life, and is able to express a time which everyine must have had in their life before.
I enjoyed this piece and hope to see more of your works in the future, thus I shall rate this piece 8.0 out of ten. Excellent!

Sincerely,
The Wandering Wizard

User avatar
runandhide
Review
runandhide wrote a review Review · Aug 26, 2014

Oh gosh this is amazing!

I loved in the first stanza the line 'that never ending pain/ of dancing till your feet grow sore" because I used to do ballet and that summed up so much! So that really drew me in!

I also loved the line 'a feeling that you've never but always felt before' too! I could tell just from that first stanza I think that this was a speaker I am going to relate too, so great job with that :)

I also loved how you kept rhyming happily even as the poem became dark and deep, because it stopped it from becoming too dark, but didn't take away the serious aspect that you managed to create and I really liked that!

Overall I thought it was absolutely great!

Anne

thePoeToaster43 wrote a review Review · Aug 26, 2014

oh my goodness, this poem is so incredibly amazing, that i can't help but believe you stole it.

That's not an accusation, that is a compliment. Other than very few grammatical errors, this poem could pass as perfect! I'd love to know your inspiration for such a grand piece!

I'm totally going to check out your other works now. I can only hope they'll be half as good as this one. I wish for your success in the poetry field of writing.

Good luck to you!

Sherri replied · Aug 26, 2014

Wow, thank you so much! :)
I haven't done much poetry lately, so I figured I would try and work on it more since I love it so much.
As for inspiration... I had a sudden thought the other day about going to the circus as a child, and drew a few pictures. They came out kind of gloomy, and I started thinking that it would be interesting if there was a circus that you couldn't see, but forever performed. This is what came out of it!
Anyways, I'm really happy you loved it so much, but I've been improving the more I write so I'm not sure if my other works are as good as this one is to you. Hopefully the other stuff isn't too bad... forever improving, but never absolute perfection, right? :)
Thank you again for all the kind words! :D
(I love your profile picture by the way. The frog is so cute!)



Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it.
— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein