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139,355 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
The best heroes aren’t from a movie or a book.They are the people we know , love and look up to.They are the real heroes.This was so sweet! Is this a true poem? I was just wondering , that’s all.I saw this and thought to read it.I’m glad that I did , because this is really wholesome.I hope that you have a lovely and amazing day and night.
Oh sheesh you out here necro-reviewing a poem I wrote a literal decade ago xD thanks, though! I'm glad you enjoyed it ^-^
yeah, this was/is about my blue-collar dad -- a little rough now that I look back on it, but I was very proud of it when I first wrote it (and it didn't make me cringe quite as hard as I'd been expecting when I got the notif that you commented on it so ig I've got that going for me xD).
Wesh! Professor Jade here to review. You know how it is. I know this is old but I found this in the poetry section and have decided to review it.
Just a farmer, that's all he is:
Not a celebrity or a politician.
He doesn't think he's some big whiz;
And he's not a man on a mission.
I like the rhyme scheme and the flow is pretty consistent. Instead of the ":" I would do a period. But this is so old you probably don't care.
He's proud that his neck is painted red;
The proof is on his scarred hands that he's not some poser.
Every August afternoon he'll have a field to ted,
After he puts his eight in on the dozer.
The second line of this verse throws the flow off a bit. Also, you mean tend, not ted, right? But you paint the image of a hard-working man sweating in the heat. I love it! So far, I like how it's deep about being yourself, but not raw. Kind of light-hearted with a deeper message.
He's just the owner of a little farm;
Calluses and sweat make up this simple man.
He's not pretty but he's got his charm,
With strong arms and a farmer's tan.
This verse feels like it should be in a country song. Not in a bad way, it just has that backroad hay-field vibe.
He'll break his back just to earn a buck,
Working until the daylight's all gone.
Saturday he'll have a load of feed in his old Ford truck:
In his back glass handing is his trusty old gun.
This portraits a hard-working man with morals. I think that's the picture you intended so *applauds*
He doesn't covet the fancy stuff he's never had,
And he might not look like much to doubters:
But he's my dad,
And I couldn't be prouder.
The flow count is off but I love this ending. I like the consistent rhyme scheme and sorry for reviewing something so old.
-Proffesor JadeLotus-
This is truly fantastic!
I love how your use of language and description.
Seriously, I'm not going to comment on anything but the creativity because it's really beautiful!
You gave me the shivers...
Well done and keep writing,
magnificent!
Cheers,
VNT Quest
Thanks!