Spent my last five dollars on cigarettes and fancy water
Don't think adult life was meant for me.
You see, I can play the shit out of Zelda,
Watch a ton of DBZ,
But when it comes to living responsibly...
I'd rather smoke my Marlboro’s
And put my Ipod on repeat
Than worry about bills and what to eat
Because for now FIJI is still two for three
And I guess that's good enough for me
Until I can find somewhere to be
Or at least five more bucks for tomorrow
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139,359 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
Hello there! Here to review your work right after Blackwood
HAPPY REVIEW DAY by the way 
I really like this! By no means am I a poet so I can't really help on the technical side of things, I just thought I would come along and share my opinions on the content!
Unlike him, I really enjoyed your lack of rhyming scheme. It all adds to the personality of your speaker where he doesn't really care about falling in line or doing the norm. I also think it adds to the laziness of this person. If this wasn't intended - then just go with. I won't tell if you don't
Good luck and I look forward to reading some more of your work!
Olive <3
Love the poem. It is very real and it is a reality that we all have to face. (I know for me it's sooner than later)
You have some good rhyme schemes and rhythm but they don't seem to match up with one another. For example your final three lines all rhymed while furtherback it was in twos, some not rhyming at all. In some places this actully works really well. Inafct the whole first half of the poem was great rhythm. The second half threw me a bit though.
Hey, I also think that your title option could get much better although this one is great.The overall poem was superb and I didn't find any grammatical error. I think your ending could improve but your starting was exceptional. I agree with Legibletext that the careless attitude thing was great and a good break from all those serious poems. Great job done and I look forward to reading more of your work.
-Anshira
The poem has a kind of dry, careless quality to it which is fascinating. I also like the font you used, it is symbolic of the type of emotion that come through in this poem. It was blunt, to the point but clearly expressive, and that was what made it worth reading.
Also I think the topic is really significant to the young people of today who are experiencing something similar to this, they aren't as independent as people were in the old days.
Nice job, keep it up.
I found this rather interesting, I understand the feeling the poem portrays. Still I find it might be missing something, like you missed some punctuations, not sure if I said that right but let's move on.
Besides that I think this is a good poem, you can relate to the thought itself and that is what you look for in a poem!
Fantastic job and just saying the title is spot on.
-IceSaga
The title is perfect. Often the title is what gives the reader a certain perspective on the act. Fancy water I cant explain how much I like, because in today life, everything is fancy, or it is "out", and what better way to show that than forcing fancy out of something so ordinary, that has been here for so long, but suddenly it is not good enough the way it is. Perfect.
And I also feel like I don't know what I wanna be when I grow up, so I feel the song.
The last verse, making it life day for day... perfect.
Good work