Dear Mr. Rapist

Something that brought tears to my eyes. It was very touching and sad. Keep up such great talent. Wonderful work!

Oh my God! While reading my heart was racing! I felt terrible! Terrible for the girl but I also felt how she could move on. How she could move on and do it. That should would get over it. It was heart racing, compelling, it was... AMAZING. It was sad though! It was a sad story, and a good story at the same time.
The ending is what got me. It was a sad, sad ending. I understand though. That it finally god to her. It's sad.. Truly sad that things like these happen to people..
I'm sorry you had to hear my rambling thoughts on your piece, but I just can't explain how much I liked it. It would actually be a good book-type thing. If you followed her through this... The beginning. Showing her life before and after.. During and everything.
I'm actually unsure if this is a true story or if you wrote this, but either way it was sadly beautiful.
If you need any critiquing or anything else message me!
-Hayley

Well...that was a depressing. Personally I found the ending a bit too dark and depressing. I found that she shouldn't have killed the baby because that isn't right for her character. If she was really confident she would raise her child, then I think you should rethink the ending a little. How about the rapist is found not guilty? That would be a good ending. Other than that, an excellent story.

Amazing !

Emotional ! Gripping ! Thrilling !

You are an amazing writer !

Hats Off to You !

You brought out all the emotions so well and kept me hooked right to the end. The Ending actually made me cry.

Honestly, the story was great.

Great Job and May you keep writing more such amazing stories.

Scary, yet amazing! I love it! Not for what happens in the story, but for the depth an emotion of it all. Not to mention the reality. More often than not stories tend to give us a description of what we'd like life to be. This gives us a big yet bitter taste of reality! Which is what makes it so amazing. I do have one tiny thing though:

and I won’t loose to you ever again.

Welp, I'm sad... Kayla here.

This piece was emotional and deep and it spoke in it's own way. I liked the little storry at the end but the ending was soo sad. It's so sad that things like this happen.

Actually just resently a boy in my town killed his bother and father because of abuse and molestation. This world can be so cruel sometimes..

annyyhoww,
Great writing, sad storry,,

-Kayla!!

Oh my goodness I am actually tearing up a little bit. This is such a beautiful piece and it is so sad. I really wanted her to beat her attacker and I can't believe he won. I thought she was going to get through it. Anyway this is absoluteky brilliant despite the fact that you made me cry.
Awesome job-you're a fantastic writer
-Hope

Holy crap! This was absolutely amazing. I found it other the reccomendations and boy, were they right to reccomend it! I thought the last part was just... crazy amazing. Gosh. This should be a movie on lifetime or something. I think its just insane how far she went to protect her baby from the rapist, but she just... wow. Very nicely done. I have no critique.

WOW! I honestly felt every emotion there. I think this is an amazing piece of writing and it deffinately tugged on my heart strings. I really felt for the victim and I felt as though I was in her shoes if only for a second. This is amazing. I can clearly see that you will be really successful and I hope you achieve all of your goals in life. x

I love the tension and emotion you put into this. I think it's an outstanding peice. I love how I could vision the emotion you were feeling. I love how you structured it so well. Keep Writing(:

Wow, that's all I can say. Wow. Really emotional, really deep, really touching. It's hard to find subjects as serious as this. It was the perfect amount to get the message across, whether it was real or not. It felt real.

Keep writing!
<3 Sara.

That's so sad:( Good job though

You know, this letter is really sad. How the rapist stole not only her virginity, but her innocence. Even though this isn't really true, it happens everywhere. This is sad. This letter was very touching and moving.

- gleek456 <3

This is awesomely mad. This is a perfect piece for a monologue, for someone who wants to join a Talent Show. I don't think I could write a better piece with this genre. So I really appreciated your work while and even after I read it. Good job!

Hey. Just so you know, I think this piece was over-reviewed.
It came off as fake, like something you would see on TV. It seemed like a steriotype of every shock-and-awe-value newscast about rape ever. I didn't like it at all. But good job using such a sensitive topic to get attention! It sure worked.

Also, thanks for the upper at the end there. She smothers her baby and then hangs herself leaving a note saying he won? Wasn't that an episode of Law and Order SVU?

I've gone ahead and upped the rating to 18+. Mostly because it rattled me a bit and I'm well over that threshold.

Dude, i totally giving you my kudos in this poem. it was wonderful!!

I hope you burn in Hell with Satan standing beside you.

I wish the very worse for you.

I like it. Sad that this kind of thing happens though. Hopefully one day this can end.

I'm not with everyone else... I don't really like it. It could potentially be a great story, but it's not as "incredible" as everyone else is claiming. My best friend was raped last month... There is SO much more emotion that should be put into this writing piece to make the rape victim believeable. This is good, but it could be better.


Good job.
Keep Writing.

xoxo,
Kiicoh.

This was a compelling story. the ending is good, perfect for a prologue in a murder mystery. The only thing confusing was weather she killed herself of the rapist killed her ^.^ Interesting.

Thank you so much for that detailed review

When I was little, I would draw these people on pieces of paper, cut them out, and then play with them like they were action figures -- we didn't have actual action figures back in Eastern Europe. This piece felt more or less like that. The characters are about as developed as paper cutouts get, everything happens for exactly as many reasons as a child's roving mind can gather, and once play-time is done, they get thrown away without a second thought.

So, the character development. Look: as much as I can appreciate a dark view of humanity, unfortunately making a man go around raping people for no reason neither happens often enough to chronicle in prose, nor does it make for an exciting story. You might as well have Mr. Rapist walking around in a top hat with a monocle in his eye and a riding-crop in his hand, cackling maniacally while twirling a thin moustache. Like those generic villains, Mr. Rapist is in it only for some fleeting earthly pleasure, and also like them, he has absolutely no foresight for what will happen later. The important distinction is that while they appear(ed) mainly in comedic works, this piece is by no means comedic. Not intentionally, at least. Is Mr. Rapist mentally challenged that he does not comprehend the meaning of rape? No? Ok. Is he a douchebag that just takes what he wants? Well, why not kill the woman while he's at it? No, he's not a douchebag either. Is he a coward that wants to feel powerful for a few minutes who finds he lacks the courage to finish the job by killing the woman after the rape? Sounds like it. But you don't show any of that. You've left me guessing. Prose does not like leaving its readers guessing.

Things happening for no reason. OK, you wrote a letter that's supposed to show a woman coming to terms with her past, and keeping the child to raise as her own. Noble. So-- why does she kill herself at the end? What, god pray, were you trying to say with that suicide? That life does not always turn out for the best? Good, good-- but that begs for an additional 40,000 words of character and situation development. It does NOT fit in a flash story like this, it just pops out of the blue and hits me in the face like a concrete brick. So, just like little carbonCore making sword-fighting noises with two pencils in the hands of paper figures one minute and then whooshing off on them like on rockets the next, you do things with your set pieces without any direction. Or sense. It's as if your only goal with this work is to throw as much pointless misery at the audience as possible. I'm sorry, but my heart strings are tuned to play a melody - and they will only be pulled when such a developed melody is being played, not pointless, aimless harping.

Finally, the ultimate fates of the characters. Really, it makes sense that you dispose of the both of them so cleanly, painlessly, and stainlessly. "Painlessly", you gasp. "But cC, she killed herself! How is that painless?!" Why, thank you for proverbially asking this question. I will answer it. Neither you, nor, by extension, your audience have had the time to build an emotional attachment to any of these characters. Really, this is a show vs tell issue. You say that she killed herself due to post-partum depression; you do not reveal her writhing in agony, making every emotional mosquito bite seem like a bear mauling. You say that he raped her; you do not show him admiring girls from a distance, if he is a coward-- you do not show him being rejected by the main character and then coming back to take what he wants, damn it! because he's a douchebag! But he's not. I don't know what he is. You just withheld this information from me. So when the piece is done and over with, you aren't saying goodbye to real characters - you're parting with strawmen equipped specifically for one purpose and one purpose only. When they're done, they can be thrown out without a second thought.

At the end of the day, I'm sorry to say this-- I almost never do-- but this should not have been written. Either expand it into a novel, or make it into a single scene. As of now, this is just an exercise in writing aimless, bitter misery.

Your feather,
cC

Wow. Scary. The ending. I mean, the whole letter, she's all, "YOU WILL NOT WIN," and seems, although obviously disturbed and depressed (by good reason), determined not to let this get the best of her. But then..."He won." SCARY. And actually the saddest thing (to me) is the fact that the baby was smothered with a pillow...how depressing. I mean, "Let's not get an abortion, but now that I'm all depressed and feel like killing myself anyway let's just smother her with a pillow. I mean, that's way less bad than abortion, right?" Okay, now I'm being sort of sarcastic. (Sorry, I can't help it. Sarcasm is my native tongue.) But anyway, I found that a bit ironic.

I have to admit that I did not read the whole letter (I've already done a few reviews tonight, and starting this weekend I'll have contest entries to review, and I'm very lazy), but I did read the ending paragraphs (as you can tell), and I have to say about those: Well done. Done in a way that makes this sound like a news story or something, makes it more believable, and like I said, it really hit me. Sca-RY.

~Blue

this was wonderfuly writtedn and well thought out, the ending was un-suspected, because you thought the woman was going to fight it and win, although i must say it was darkly complelling, and well revised and edited wasn't it? In te end i was excited for the woman, then myhope fell and it felt more realistic, and i loved it! although i'm glad it's not a true story, because it won;t have to rin my day XD

It made me cry and shiver, giving me a sense of fear and pain. Good job *wipes away tears and smiles alittle* i really, really, REALLY enjoyd it. I hope you keep writing, no matter how depressing that is, it kept drawing me in, closer and closer, making me feel every pain and emotion the victim did. The end result was sad but it shows the affects on rape victims. On the way to class this period, my friend and I were actually discussing which was worse, murder or rape. We came to the conclusion that to men, Murder may be worse then rape, but to Women, Rape is worse then murder, as women may be more sensitive to their virginity or innocence, then testerone-filled males may be. Now, im not saying that there isn't female rapist either. ANyway, back to the point. Very well written, good choice of words, very descriptive and emotion filled.
Overall: Amazing Job!

Keep writing!

Another forever fan,
Black Ink x.

Wow, I was hanging onto every word. I could not believe he won in the end. It was chilling and amazing. This story has awesome intensity. You are an awesome writing. Please do not every stop.

Thank you so much guys

Fantastically dark and emotional! I loved it!
Keep writing.
-Tory

Hey there.

Wow. This is very very dark and gripping. I proabaly would not have loved it as much if you hadn't put in the two paragraphs at the end. It ended really well. Very sad and punchy. I don't think you could have wrapped it up better. The language itself was very good. Very lyrical and well formed. At times you I think you sank down into this deppression to much, to the point where it felt melodramtic. But most of the time it was very good however and really gripping.

So besides that one thing, this is very good.

I agree with Formslipper

I think you just took my innocence.

Wow that was intense. Great job. It gave me the chills multiple times, and kept me hooked. Wow. Just, Wow.

This is amazing. Incredible. It's message is so deep. It's that good that I have a complete loss of words.
Good job!
-CookEmonster

Ok, before you laugh, I am a little gullible.
I SINCERELY hope that this didn't actually happen. My ex-girlfriend was raped when we were still together. I had to help her through that time. It was so horrible for her. I believe that if the death penalty was for ONE thing, it should be for rape.

Wow. Jarring, a squimish topic I couldn't stop reading until I was done, and a ending that puts soup opera's and the like to shame. What makes it strangely fantastic is that this isn't a true story, you were able to rewrite the emotions of someone that has gone trough a situation like that.

The only thing I dont get is how post PD can be found in an autopsy. But I'm not a medical genius, so i don't know.

Emotional...wow, incredibly emotional. Beautiful written. Great job!

This was truly incredible. It was so depressing, so real, so... wonderfully terrible. This must be the best thing I've read on YWS. Now, for the nitpicks- sorry . My points will be blue.

Dear Mr. Rapist,

You stole my innocence, my virginity, but Mr. Rapist, you will not steal my child, an unborn baby, myI'd italicize "my" in "my unborn baby unborn baby. Killing her by abortion would only let you win, and I won’t looselose to you ever again. She is all mine. She will look just like me, and I will love her more than my own life.

After that night, I wanted God to kill me. I had wenthad gone to church every Sunday. I was living by the bible. I was saving my virginity for my husband on our future wedding night. I had made it through high school without giving in to the temptation of sex, and then and God let you rape me, giving me your child.

But this is not his, this is, and always will be, my journey. I will raise my daughter to be a productive person in society. I will be over protective. I will smother her to pieces, but I will not let her know her father was a rapist. She will think he was just a dead beat dad, and she will fantasize about what life with him would be like. But,personal issue; I wouldn't put a comma after but. she will never have nightmares about you coming into her bed at night and covering her mouth so no one can hear her scream.

Does that make you feel like a real man? Does it make you feel tough to know that you have a child in this world that will never know who you are because you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself?For some reason, those two sentences are powerful to me. I hope you burn in Hell with Satan standing beside you, tightening his grip on you every time you squeal and scream because the fiery flames of Hell are burning at your flesh.You didn't need to write "in Hell with Satan" and "fiery flames of Hell. As you rot in jail, I hope you bathe in guilt and that you can’t sleep at night because your mind, full of grotesque images, is killing you, ripping you apart.

You turned my world, my beliefs, my way of life upside down, but I will move on. I will have a beautiful life full of memories with MY daughter. She will be the light and center of my world now. If God had to let you tear apart my sense of life to give me my beautiful unborn daughter, thanthen so be it, but it doesn’t let you off the hook.

Satan is really looking forward to savoring your soul in Hell (again, a little repetitive), so have fun. You’re such a lucky bastard; you shouldn’t even be alive. I am writing this so that I can move on, and not have you be a nightmare lurking in my life any more; I wish the very worst for you.

I hate you,

Your Last Victim.



This letter was sent to Mr. Rapist as his appeal trial was coming to an end. The victim who wrote this letter gave birth to a vivacious baby girl, Isabella Sky, four months later. The victim slowly became obsessed with keeping her daughter safe. Safe from this cruel world; her brain wasn’t functioning like it should, and everything posed as a threat.

She had post partum depression; this was discovered during her autopsy. The victim was found in her home, dangling from a basement pipe, by a neighbor. The baby had been found laying in her crib smothered to death with a pillow. The only explanation found was a scrap piece of paper that read: He Won.

This story is amazing!! And sad but thats the best part because things like that really happen. I loved the ending how she kills the baby then herself truely amazing!! Great twist at the end! Im putting a like on this page, truely amazing! Looking forward to more of your work.

Thank you guys so much. What a great birthday present to be featured Thanks for all the critism. It's not a true story.

I won’t loose to you ever again.

Very touching. I totally loved it. Dark, emotional, blah blah blah...
Hope you write more!
Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeers
Alpha.

I read through this piece a few times before deciding that I really just don't feel it. I don't feel the emotion in it.

It's like...the victim of a rape wouldn't be so spiteful, so...strong.

While reading the piece, I related it a lot to a personal piece I wrote last summer, about an abusive relationship I was in. I don't want to say it's as awful as rape, but it was similar in some ways - I was forced into things I didn't always want to do.

Writing a piece about that relationship was one of the most painful things I've done in a long time. Because even though I wasn't writing about the events, I was reliving them, and it was scary. I felt vulnerable, and scared. For a while, I saw the boy I was writing about everywhere, and every time I thought I saw him, even though I know he lives across the country, I'd start having a mild panic attack.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is, as angry as I was at him, and as much as I wanted to tell him to go to hell, and even though it had been 3 years since the relationship, the emotional impact of it left such a scar that there was no way I could write a piece in which I sounded like the strong, independent woman I am today.

I even ended the piece simply stating that I was not yet able to forgive him. I wanted to, but could not.

Sorry - I feel like I need to connect this better.

I feel like your piece lacks emotion - the victim of a rape would hurt in writing a letter to her rapist. She may at times feel spiteful, but she would also feel vulnerable. There would be moments of weakness in the letter, not just spite.

Additionally, I don't feel like she would call him mister. That suggests respect, and I doubt she would have respect for the man who did something that awful to her.

I hope that made sense. If you have any questions or anything, go ahead and PM me.

<3
Bella

There are two reason I hope to God this is a piece of fiction, for one, and probably the most obvious its awful and horrible and depressing and I would never wish that upon another human being. But for two, you wrote this like it was straight up, undeniable fact... and that's amazing. If this is a true story then its an ok piece. But if its a work of fiction then its an incredible piece. Good job either way. id give my traditional 3 smiley signature but somehow i don't find that appropriate

Im sorry but i cant say i liked this. I didnt hate it. But i didnt like it. I guess it was too personalforme. But i u where the girl is coming from. I know how she feels. And i can say it is a horrible feeling. Well thats alk. Keep Writing though

I wasn't a big fan of this, although there was one spark I found intriguing.
My main issue was that everything was so blunt that it lost any semblance of humanity. Take your characters for example. Your narrator is a good christian girl and the rapist is a horrible man destined for hell, and it never goes beyond that. The whole situation feels hollow and unreal because the characters are nothing more than basic representations of good and evil. This is compounded by the fact that, as Snoink pointed out, the rapist is never even given a name. This made him even more flat and unreal to me.
I also thought the morals were presented much too blatantly. You bash the reader over the head with the themes of abstinence and abortion and fighting the devil by stating things in such an outright manner. You can include those themes, but they won't be effective until you tie them into your work with more depth than "good girl is anti-abortion, therefore anti-abortion is good" or "good girl is abstinent, therefore abstinence is good." Don't try so hard in conveying your message and it will come through in a richer way.
The section after the letter was more interesting to me, although I liked the writing less. I like that you had the girl create her own downfall rather than something like the rapist killing them both, because it offers the idea that her own hatred was just as dangerous to her as the rapist's was. This is by far the most unique perspective you offer here.
However, I wasn't a fan of the writing itself in that final section. It seemed hurried and not very well planned out (Snoink pointed out most of what I would say about that) Like I said earlier, stop trying so hard and slow down. Things will feel much more natural if you're not tripping over yourself.

Hi!

Okay, so maybe I am the only dissenting opinion here, but I didn't really care for this. The letter was indeed heartfelt and everything, and I loved how it was pretty obsessive and crazy-sounding while trying to sound strong... and failing miserably.

However, the last bit sounded very tacked on. For instance, instead of having him be called "Mr. Rapist" it might have been more powerful if you chose a different name. Also (and maybe I'm just being very nitpicky and stuff?) but it costs a lot of money for those sorts of courts, so I am guessing she had some people on her side to help her when she accused him of rape. It seems really weird that the people that would help her financially in court (unless she was alone?) would not be there to help her out with her children. I think it would be more plausible if she hadn't been able to prosecute him at all, probably because of the money concern, and so was left feeling very abandoned. But that's just a thought. I don't know. Most of the people I know who have been raped do not go to court because of this reason, so I guess that's why I thought that it wasn't too great.

Anyway, nice letter!

Absolutely Brilliant. I loved it.
Very dark and compelling, but tells a story so sadly true.
Was not too simple, nor too descriptive. Loved it.

-Brie

I think you just took my innocence. jk

Anyway: awesome, horrible story.

I lovingly hated every word of it.

Follow and like, follow and like. That is all I can say. This was truely amazing. You put all the emotions people who are sexually assult or abused experience. The over protectiveness, the fear, the hate, the anger and the paranoia. You are soooo talented. I thought I had seen some pretty amazing pieces but this is by far the best piece I have come across. I loved how intense the emotions you portrayed were. It made you feel like you were actually writing this letter to the rapist. I am so glad that this is not a true story! I think you did an amazing job and I can't wait for you to post new things! This was truely amazing!
Wicked <3

Oh my godddd.............. I'm crying right now this was really incredible. The emotion in the letter was so strong and overwhelming, then the end note was amazingly creepy and made shivers roll down my spine. I'm glad this story is not true, but I'm also glad you posted something like this on YWS because it's something that is definitely in this world! Thank you for posting! Congrads on the feature

-_-




He won.


I hope mine never wins. *cries* good job, miss.

Hi. I haven't any nitpicks; I just wanted to let you know how brilliant this was. The issue of rape was exposed in a brutal yet sorrowful way. Your prose was controlled yet emotive, gentle yet blunt. This story is truly fantastic and i'm so happy you've got a feature! *like*
- Alia

This poem was literally outstanding. I felt your pain throughout the piece. It is remarkable of how much strengh she believed she had. Her tragic ending really made a impact on my perception when it comes to rape. I have always seen rape as a inhumane and terrible experience, but your description and depth made me better understand the emotional and mental stability this women must have been in, especially since she was mothering a child of this despicable man. I hope more women read this; I think this could shine light on the topic of Rape and bring more awareness on what it's affects can be.

Snaps on creating such a inspirational piece! I'll be on the lookout for more of your in depth creations

- Dreamer

Ps: Sorry for the review! hard to critique a piece as great as this.

This is not going to be a long review, so I'm sorry for that but... dear me!

You put my writing to shame! This was so emotional, so sorrowfully beautiful that I fund it hard to breath, this deserves to be featured for the entrie time that YWS still lives, THAT''S how special this piece is.

It's such a sad,gripping topic, and one that is very hard to express unless you've actually been through the awful experiance. I do hope you haven't. I have really never read something that has touched me so much.

You didn't write and add in loads of exemplary vocab that showed real whopping understanding, or shove in masses of facts about how you were feeling, you didn't tell, you showed.

Thats what really made this piece for me, I could feel what the mother was feeling. I could really understand, it was like I was watching everything. I almost cried, my mom was looking at me like; Is she getting all horomonal again?

So you've really got talent, more then talent. You put to shame, and that's the honest truth.

Never stop writing!

You've got a forever fan,
Kagi

Emotional and deep...sad, but I like it a lot.

Thank you guys No it's not a true story

You stole my innocence, my virginity, but Mr. Rapist you will not steal my child, an unborn baby, my unborn baby. Killing her by abortion would only let you win, and I won’t lose to you ever again.

I had made it through high school without giving in to the temptation of sex and then God let you rape me, giving me your child.

I will be overprotective.

i like it. Shame for the rapist! I believed that the victim was brave to face the truth at first, but she failed later and screwed everything. What a sad story.... I wonder if it is a true story....

Amazing. The mood of the story was sad, dark and compelling. It was well written, and emotional.
The more I think of it, the more it seems to be realistic, more like how things would actually be in this world.

overall; a very great, emotion tugger! Truly, you are an amazing writer! Applause.

keep your creativity flowing,
--Ash

Very, very nice.
Emotional and compelling!

I wish I could so a better review....
*likes*

Keep writing!
------------------
-Jojo