I watch him every Wednesday evening pull his trash cans to the curb. He stands around six foot one, and his muscular build pushes through his tight t-shirts. I have bumped into him at the grocery store, and he offers to help me with all the little things my husband use to do for me, like cut the grass and clean the gutters. When he moved in next door, I started having nightmares of what once was. He reminded me of my perfect grandson. A little boy who never had a chance, but maybe he made it, maybe he escaped, survived, and doesn't know how to tell me except to offer to do all these little things. the nightmares are full of my grandson's red hair shimmering in the heat of summer, his baseball jersey hanging on the clothes line, still covered in mud, and his mangled body that had been found in his mother's freezer. Everyday my nightmares get worse, and without my husband here to reassure me, I am positive my grandson wasn't the little boy in that freezer; he is my neighbor.
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139,429 Literary Works • 672,561 Reviews
Oh goodness this is creepy. I highly enjoyed this short but enrapturing piece. I must say, twist endings are a soft spot of mine, and I could tell you were building to one and you didn't disappoint me. Just one little edit
"all the little things my husband use to do for me"
I'm assuming you meant to say "used to do for me". Very minor typo.
Also as Kingofeli said, the "the" should be capitalized at the start of the mentioned sentence.
Other than these minor corrections, job well done
This story made me Nostalgic! As same as my childhood. I can say that you wrote very well.
she just a senile old grandmother, hoping for the best out of a horrible situation? I also feel bad for the old woman; she's obviously in a lot of pain, and seems to be very scared, in a way.
This is a very good story i Think and wish you all the very best
Wow, this story really gave me some chills. Even though this is very short, it kept me interested from the beginning to end, and the unanswered question hangs in my mind; is it possible that the murdered boy was some other boy? Or is she just a senile old grandmother, hoping for the best out of a horrible situation? I also feel bad for the old woman; she's obviously in a lot of pain, and seems to be very scared, in a way. After all, she lost her grandson, and I'm guessing her daughter/daughter in-law, since the boy's body was found in his mother's freezer. There is one thing that I noticed; the "the" in the sentence that starts with "the nightmares are full of my grandson's..." should be "The" with a capital T. Other than that, I didn't really find any errors.
This was a very good story, and I give it a 9.5/10. Keep on writing!