This isn't very long, but I am curious as to how far I can push this prompt about a leaf's perspective:
My foundation is strong and holds me tight. There is always a fear that when the wind blows I'll fall to my untimely death, and even though everyone says don't trust the tree, I don't think it's his fault that crisp winds start an ever lasting land of ice. For our whole lives, he holds onto us tight, through wind, rain, and drought. I can feel his strength run through me. They say no one survives, that the tree lets us all go, but I am determined to be the one leaf that watches the snow fall.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
I really, really like this. It's such a unique perspective on the life of a leaf. I especially like how, even though it is only one paragraph long and about a leaf, you manage to convey an idea of leaf culture and show how that particular leaf is different from all the other leaves. It sets up something that could be the start to a story but is really the perfect ending to something like this. My only quibble (because if I didn't have a quibble this wouldn't be long enough to be a review) is this part:
I feel like the sentence would work better if there was a "but" there instead of an "and," just to more fully show the difference of the leaf's opinion from everybody else's. And that is literally the only suggestion I have. This really was a pleasure to read. It's such a nice, small story, but so full of hope and life. Thank you for this.
I really enjoyed reading that sentence with a but instead of an and; thank you for such a great review!
I really like these types of works. Like, from an inanimate objects perspective. It's inspiring.
I like to see things from a different point of view, and with people making such good posts about things like these, it's easier to see from a different POV.
I think you interpreted the leaf perfectly, how it would think, how determined it would be to see snow when all the others leaves are floating away.
Even though it is short, I still really like the concept, the idea, whatever, I like all of it. You did a great job. And, I think my most favorite part is:
"I don't think it's his fault that crisp winds start an ever lasting land of ice."
Just because the leaf is referring to the tree as a 'he', and as the leaf's protector.
I absolutely loved that. The idea of the tree. Keeping hold of the leaves during the harsh weather, it's fantastic. I actually think you should expand on this. It's great how it is, yes, but the length is a little off. I would definitely love it if you made this longer. Either way, I love it.
I'm waiting to see more from you!
~Shiny
Thanks for such a sweet review
I would say that this is a great piece of writing. I loved that you wrote it from a leaf's perspective; it really gets you thinking. I sometimes think like that. Scratch that, I always think like that and I'm glad someone else does, too. You did an awesome job, Rascalover!!
I love expanding thought to inanimate objects! thanks for the review