I've Reserved For You

I loved this! The "I don't give a shit" vibe it gives off is strong and powerful. I feel like this poem shows independence and that nobody can tell you what to do. You're your own person and that's the best person you can be. Keep it up!!

Hello Pernicus . RainbowOfGayness here.
This is pretty cool. Actually this is pretty awesome! The use of the F word so many times is good. I love the spelling switch and then the language switch. This poem shows alot of emotion and boldness. I enjoy it alot. Keep being expressive and happy writing!!!

The last few sentences read

I hate English

fuck English

fuck Croatian too

(^ in Croatian)

I speak Japanese now

fuck you all

(^ in Japanese)
*note, this is not supposed to be rebellious it's just for fun

I guess this is not much of a literary piece. It's more of an expression. But hey, I liked the boldness.

I found it quite funny honestly, even though I'm sure there was some sort of sentimental or emotional value behind the meaning of this. I certainly liked your anger. It made me laugh, believe it or not. The beginning of it grabbed my attention, because it sounded like something I'd write.

I don't mind the profanity, because I use it quite a bit myself. But I don't understand how someone could constantly not care. Because eventually, one will come to the point where he simply has to care, and he will do anything to show that he does care.

I loved the rebellion up until the point of illegibility. When you lacked the effort to spell, I sort of lost interest. Because I, for one, do "have time" to spell. I did like your attitude. It reminded me of, well me, at least me in 6th grade.

Now you might already have stopped reading this and said "fuck you" to me. But I found it funny about halfway through this piece, because I pictured a 9-year-old cursing until he's blue in the face while playing Call of Duty. Not only did I see this in my head, but I kind of pictured a tiny dwarf voice squealing at the top of his lungs. Very funny, dude.

The last part was excessively difficult to read. Not only did you misspell half of these last sentences, but you even had the courage to switch languages on me. Kind of confusing there.

But anyway, I don't mean to hate. I just think you could have been a little more competent in this piece.

Very funny though. I agree with Enflicted.

thats just great. im laughing so hard i might pee..... ha ha ha ha

Wow. That is a lot of profanity. I think that only using the F word does have some impact, but if you use other swear words or other phrases that make you sound angry that might work as well. I think I would keep it in English, though I like the making it harder to read progressively. I would make it about something that really makes you mad. Otherwise this is great.

Who is "you", i feel like there could be something there to explore. Maybe an imposing parental figure or maybe its the little voice in all our heads, constantly critiquing and judging our every move. The parts that resonate with me are the ones that give insight to "you" but then i guess you achieved something there, because I have basically revealed two things about myself from my suggestions about who "You" is referring to. You succeeded if that was your goal

Heyo, Cailey here to review.
(Sidenote. I'm taking Japanese II in college this semester and I was like, oh, maybe I can actually read the Japanese! And I got all excited and was like, I think this means I speak Japanese, though I'm not sue what the last kanji is. And then the second line I was like, bleh, kanji and I'm super tired. No idea what that says.)

So, I think that you have an idea with this. It kind of sounds like you're just trying to find a way to curse a whole bunch and if that's all you want to do then this is just a meaningless string of cursing and that's that. BUT.. I think there could be a really cool poem here if you can connect this to a story.

Something I've been learning lately is that poetry often works a lot better when there's a little bit of narrative involved. (Doesn't mean there's not GREAT poetry that has absolutely no clear story.) But I think in this poem if you told a story through the use of language it would be really awesome. Make the you a very specific person and write this whole poem directed to that one "you" while giving the readers a sense of what happened to make the narrator so angry at the "you" if that makes sense.

I definitely think there's a lot of potential here and using cursing as a centerpiece for the poem would make for a really impact-ful and emotional poem, if we can tell what we're supposed to be impacted with and what emotion we're supposed to feel and towards whom.