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Weeb

by PeijiRestoration


Figurines line the shelves.

Posters cover the walls.

Unfinished cosplays are strewn on the floor,

and plushies lie on the bed.

I’m surrounded by all of these things,

and can feel nothing at all but comfort.

My phone is beside me, my playlist is on,

uninterrupted, because who would want to text this late at night?

Even if they did, I wouldn’t hear. Too many full combos have been ruined and too many boss raids interrupted for me to have the ringer on.

I’m in recluse mode, lying on the floor, no less,

with a volume of my newest obsession open, and every other issue stacked beside me.

This is the safest space for me to be.

This is the place where everything seems right.

Even just thinking about it makes me smile.

I want to go back to that place as soon as possible.

But nope, I still have school.

I’m not an absolute NEET, after all!

I’m just a complete and utter

weeb


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Fri Apr 06, 2018 5:33 am
Dossereana wrote a review...



Hi there PeijiRestoration I am hear to a review on your poem so lest sort, okay so I can say that this is a good lenth for your poem, Unfinished cosplays are strewn on the floor, what are you talking about in this bit, and all so cosplays is not spelt right, and plushies lie on the bed. Plushies what are Plushies, all so that is spelt wrong to, uninterrupted, because who would want to text this late at night? I think that you should say this sentens like this, but I was uninterrupted, because who would want to text this late at night? See that sounds better to me, Even if they did, I wouldn’t hear. Too many full combos have been ruined and too many boss raids interrupted for me to have the ringer on. What I am so confoosed right now it is sound stranch to me, I’m just a complete and utter weeb okay wowo at the end you are saposto have a fool stop, that is all that I can say keap up with the good work. :D

From @MoonFlower






Thanks for the review.



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Thu Apr 05, 2018 4:09 am
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Kazumi wrote a review...



Konnichiwa Peiji! autobeidaasu desu for a review on this poem! Jitsu wa, I liked this poem a lot because I'm so into anime these days, and my friends and I constantly mock each other for being giant weeaboos that consume nothing but otaku culture from Japan, so it resonates. So, in honor of Japanese culture, I'm going to pretend to be a giant weeaboo in this review and insert random Japanese phrases and kotoba (that's Japanese for word!). I hope this makes this review a little more omoshiroi (that's Japanese for entertaining/amusing!). Saa, hajimaru zo!

I mentioned a while ago that this poem resonates because of its subject matter. Shikashi, I just have one really big complaint about it: it feels kind of heartless. To be honest, it feels like how Hollywood makes cynical pop culture references, or how a baka gaijin would fire shots at otakus. They do it with a shallow knowledge of what they're dealing with.

In here it seems like it shows a cold otona's shallow understanding of what otaku culture is. Figurines, posters, netoge (internet games), anime ongaku (anime music), manga, hikikomori, being a loser, being a sad little thing with no tomodachi. And that makes me hontou ni, sugoku kanashii, because I know you're not one of those baka gaijins. I got this feeling, this kimochi, like, you're immersed in this culture as well.

It would have greatly helped if you made relevant references. As in, a lot. Like, Mio Akiyama, Black Rock Shooter, Rem, Tsuyu or whatever anime waifu nendroids instead of simply "figurines." Refer to these "plushies" as "dakimakura" instead, which has Zero Two or Tohru or someone hot in the nude in there. Posters of Kimi no Na wa and A Silent Voice as well, maybe. Don't just say "playlist," mention some of the most beloved Japanese music, like Naruto's Fighting Dreamers Opening, or Boku no Hero Academia's Peace Sign, or Night of Nights, or Hirose Kohmi's Promise, or xi's Freedom Dive, anything. Call these games you mentioned by name. What are the manga the main character is reading? Oh, and don't forget the thing going around about traps, like Hideri and that Astolfo plushie that succs your ochinchin and calls you gay. Those are very relevant and resonant memes in our anime community right now.

What I mean by all of this is if you want to poke fun at otaku/weeaboo culture, you have to go in really deep. You don't have to worry about excluding audience members who aren't into anime, because this by nature isn't going to be their sweetest cup of ocha (that's Japanese for tea!). So why not pull out all your anime memes and references for the sake of those who are into anime?

This poem was resonant because of its subject matter. However, that doesn't mean you have to stop there. It could be even more resonant, relevant and even touching if you dive deeper into its subject matter.

So, this is the end of my review. I hope the weeaboo gimmick did entertain you while still retaining the message of this thing. If it did confuse you a little, I hope I at least gave you some more Japanese tango lol (that's Japanese for vocabulary!). I got this feeling like I might come off as harsh, and I'm sorry if it comes off to you like that. This is just something I feel really passionate about, and I feel that you can do way better than this. I know this is for NaPo and you gotta crank stuff out like Soulja Boy, but it'd be highkey dope if we got a revamped version of this or some other super cool anime meme poem.

じゃあ、また!




Lightsong says...


Omg if you ever want to review my piece, make it Japanese-like like this. o:





Wow, that may be the best way to write a review ever! Thanks!

You really did hit the nail on the head. I wanted to add more detail, but I was worried that it would exclude too many readers. I plan to add more detail as soon as I can, as I found there are enough fellow otaku here to do so. In addition, I have many poems planned for the future that are based solely on one anime, manga, character, or facet of otaku culture. Thanks for the review!





Also didn't want to mention a character and start a waifu war lollollol



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Thu Apr 05, 2018 12:05 am
manilla wrote a review...



This poem made me chuckle a bit. Even if you have your perfect, weeb-y sanctuary, you still have to face reality. And reality...Means education. Sorry, NEETs!

--

Nitpicky things out of the way:

"I’m in recluse mode, lying on the floor, no less,

with a volume of my newest obsession open, and every other issue stacked beside me."


The flow of this line is broken, but if you kept the line as it was, it would've been very, very, long. The second line of this quote I still think is a little long, and only a few adjustments are needed to fix it. It happens earlier, as well. Here:

"My phone is beside me, my playlist is on,

uninterrupted, because who would want to text this late at night?"


But late night gaming/anime watching is..Relatable. This entire poem was, nonetheless.

"Figurines line the shelves.

Posters cover the walls.

Unfinished cosplays are strewn on the floor,

and plushies lie on the bed."


This is a chance where you can add specific details and imagery! Who's the character portrayed as a figurine, for example? This is also more of a style thing, but using these elements could add interest.

That's all from me.
-Manilla Out!!






Thank you for the review! I probably should add more detail to the beginning. I'll work on that as soon as I can! Thanks!



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Wed Apr 04, 2018 11:43 pm
manilla says...



i'm more of an otaku, but ayyy. :)






Yeah, the proper term for me is technically otaku, and it's what I'd rather be know as, but I figured "weeb" would make the poem a bit funnier. Thanks for the read!



manilla says...


:)



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Wed Apr 04, 2018 4:08 pm
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fishsashimi wrote a review...



Hey, Onii-Chan here!

Aaaaaaaaa relatable!
As a professional weeb (just look at my name) I feel like I already love this poem. I feel like being alone with my sweet, sweet manga collections all the time! This shows how much we long to get back to a place we know and love, and the comfort we feel from being there.

Keep writing!






Thanks for the review! Weebs unite!



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Wed Apr 04, 2018 3:58 pm
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Kazumi says...



sugoooooooiii desu yo~~~






Thanks for reading!



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Wed Apr 04, 2018 1:49 pm
Radrook wrote a review...



Radrook here a once again
to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend.
It isn’t my intention.

Please feel full free to cast aside
all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true
by being extra careful.

That having been said:

Wow! This definitely captures the strong desire we all have for a personal space of our own where nobody can intrude. It doesn't matter how humble, it is our space and uninvited visitors are intruders ad intruders are not welcomed. The teenager’s sense of satisfaction in being alone and totally isolated comes across loud and clear. However, I must admit that the expressions and words such as: Weebs, Boss Raids, Neets, and full combos forced me to look up their meanings later. But it still didn't affect my enjoyment of this exuberant celebration of total freedom.

Suggestions

Sometines it might be helpful to include links to word meanings.

Neet
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define. ... ET%20group

Weeb
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=weeb

Boss Raid
http://callofminizombies.wikia.com/wiki/Boss_Raid

Full Combos
http://dancedancerevolutionddr.wikia.co ... Full_Combo

Plushies
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=plushie

Adjectives to enhance imagery would have made the poem more visually vivid. For example, figurines and posters didn't create any specific image in my mind since posters and figurines could be of anything.

All in all an excellent read. Looking forward to reading more of your work.






Thank you for the review. As for the words you mentioned, I didn't even stop to think about how confusing they might be to someone unfamiliar with the terminology used by anime, manga, and video game fans. I really should have clarified. Thanks!




Have a biscuit, Potter.
— Professor McGonagall