The woman is safe
away and gone.
Her husband
took control of her.
Her injured heart
continued to beat
and
he abused her.
————————————————
He abused her
and
continued to beat.
Her injured heart
took control of her.
Her husband,
away and gone
the woman is safe
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,827 Reviews
Hi PeijiRestoration. It Queenie here for a review. For starters, I really enjoyed reading your poem. I found it very interesting how you wrote it so that you could read it forwards or backwards and yet the poem would still retain a constant theme/message. However, I do have a question. In the first poem, you started off by saying that the woman was safe and ended it by saying that she was abused. To me, it doesn't make logical sense for a woman presumably safe to be abused. However, the way the second poem is structured, those same phrases, though in a different order, work for me because they retain the logical sense that I feel the first poem is laking. That being said, this really is a lovely poem and I would love to read some of your future pieces, so please keep on writing.
Thanks for the review!
Hey, It’s Onii-Chan!
This is a very powerful poem, and it seems like you put in a lot of effort. One thing I noticed, though, was how the reflections didn’t differ much. If I’m not wrong, reflection poems are supposed to tell different stories?
This is a very good poem that sends a powerful message. Keep it up!
Yeah, they do seem similar! What I was trying to do was have the first one show the woman wanting to leave her abusive husband, and in the second, showing her either reporting him or murdeing him, depending on reader preference, although it really doesn%u2019t seem that way. Thanks for the review!