Young Writers Society

@ellasnotebook This one I know you haven't read yet. If you have a chance, please review!

Hi again! LadyShadows, here to review!

Now before I do anything nitpicky, I will safely say that this is a brilliant poem! And also very true. I want to say that this poem is filled with a wonderful amount of metaphors and visually fulfilling words. Sensory seems to be your strongsuit. Additionally, the poem is formatted nicely so that the reader knows where the next stanza is.

Now time for the nitpicky stuff:

Remember, never capitalize all your letters at the beginning of your line unless the last line ended with a period. It's just like reading a story, but with more flow and rhyme and such it's a common mistake and sometimes even I do it! It's just something you have to train your mind against. I would also say that although the poem had some good flow going on, but one line just seemed to throw me off:

"...the land covered in corpses?"

If I did this, I probably would of wrote something like:

"...the land where dead lay?"

Something like that. But you know, you do you. It may just be me.

To conclude all of this, this poem gave me inspiration, and I love such works that can do that for me! Have a great day and keep writing!

This a very good, and very, very true poem. A lot of people who claim to be religious are really just hypocrites. They preach love and forgiveness, then turn around and do just the opposite of that. There area plenty of good religious leaders, of course, but there are also a lot of bad ones. Our Lord is one of peace, love, and forgiveness. They portray him as just the opposite of that. Your poem is beautifully written and lyrical. I love the flow of the words. Reading it, I wonder where you got your inspiration.

Thanks for sharing this poem about the how cunningly Christendom's clergy instigated their flocks to be violent while claiming to be followers of Christ. The dialogue had me imagining this wizened priest attired in his religious garb talking to this naive fellow who gazes at him in reverent awe as listening to God. I like the way that the repetition conveys the insistence that such religious leaders used to get people to do what they considered both politically and religiously convenient. Such conduct is why many Christians consider this period of history as being the apostasy that had been foretold by the Apostle Paul.

2 Thessalonians 2:3
New International Version
Don't let anyone deceive you in any way, for that day will not come until the rebellion occurs and the man of lawlessness is revealed, the man doomed to destruction.

http://dcc.newberry.org/collections/the ... -influence