Fate is a weighty word to throw around before breakfast
In the room where we spend our nights, lying together
Our arms intertwined
As if we know we have to hold on
Or else we’ll both lose and be lost to each other
Fate is a weighty word to throw around before breakfast
In the room where we should ready for the coming day
But continue to lie, wishing desperately to stay forever
In the moment when our breathing is slow
And seems to be synched
Fate is a weighty word to throw around before breakfast
In the room where we know we have to advance
And keep chasing this so called destiny
Instead of remaining in the moment where we feel
We are safe
Fate is a weighty word to throw around before breakfast
So let’s hold it off until lunch
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,832 Reviews
Love this.
Somehow Talks about youthful Love that seems unending. Where the destinies of both lovers are inter woven in fate. When you know love is made to be in the moment but you wish it could last forever. Reminds me of my ex.
Read it over and over again, you did a good job here I must say...
wOW
This is really good. Like, really. The last line was so good and sleepy, if that makes sense. The entire poem just feels warm and bittersweet. I really really enjoyed reading it. You should write poetry some more, I would love to read it! Your repetition was really good. Again, I just really liked reading this.
thank you!!!
Radrook here to provide feedback. Apologies beforehand if I offend. It would be unuintentional if I did and please accept my apologies. I am only trying to help.
That having been said:
I loved this poem about people who wish that the moment which binds them together as if they were one inseparable entity would last forever. I like the repetition by stanza of he refrain that fate is a weighty word to throw around before breakfast and the reference to the room and the intimate circumstances which promise a forever but which those involved know all too well must pass.
The poem reminds me of the scripture in Genesis where man is provided with a female companion and they are described as becoming one flesh and then Adam proceeds to poetically proclaim that she is bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh. Such a union is a truly beautiful thing when it goes beyond just a physical union but also includes a spiritual one.
Of course the marriage vows recognize that the union must ultimately be disunited by death since we are mortal. But that doesn't keep us for wishing an eternity of happiness with the one we love and saying that ultimate goodbye is always not a pleasant experience.
The poem mentions a destiny that seems to go contrary to being together. That destiny might be career that demands time which tends to separate people. It can be service in the military. A religious calling. The poem doesn’t tell us. It only tells us that the speaker thinks it should not be brought up at that special moment.
The lack of punctuatuion I consider a stylistic choice. It certainly did not interfere with the reading flow nor with understanding.
BTW
Since the fate is described as being unkown it can't be inevitable death.
Thanks for the review!