The banes of my existence,
but I would protect them no matter what.
My sisters are the source of my anger, and joy,
and at times, I want to strangle them.
But I have to remember,
that it's better to not fight.
I can't nitpick or bicker,
or even bully them.
Because later on,
I might need them,
and they won't be there
for support, or comfort.
So I have to keep in mind
that we shouldn't fight,
but it's hard to keep a level head,
when they're pushing me around,
and making fun of me,
and poking my tender wounds with a hot spit.
Even though I want to punch them at times,
I have to grin and bear it,
But maybe a little later,
I can think about revenge.
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137,562 Literary Works • 672,043 Reviews
Ooh! This is not what I expected from the title and description, but is good nonetheless. It's main strength is it's message, which several potential reviewers can relate to. Also there are no grammar and/or spelling mistakes, which makes for pleasant reading. The last line isn't as good as I would hope, that might need working on. Your last line should sum up, contradict, or do something with the poem, and it needs to be punchier.
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!
Thanks, and I'll look into that!
How about now?
Oh Yes!
Great!
Loved it.
Thanks ^^
I love this because its relatable.
I know that you heard this a lot and will probably hear more from other reviewers, but it's the truth.Anyways like KnighTeen said your spelling,grammar, punctuation are OK. Other then that, well done, and i like the decision you made unlike me I embarrass my sister every chance i get. I'll work on that maybe.. muhaha evil me
I think that this was very good.
Good grammar, spelling, etc. etc.
And your narrative is really good. It speaks nothing but the truth, trust me, I know what sibling rivalry is. I have six (four brothers, two sisters) and that's just in my immediate family. I have other people who are my "brothers" and "sisters" even though we don't share parents.
So I know what you're talking about, and I get it. I love it when the author can relate something to his/her audience. Brownie points for that!
The only semi-bad thing is that you might want to consider breaking this up into stanzas. It looks a little long without them. But hey, you're the author. Your call.
KT
I thought about it, but I formatted it like this because the formatting isn't really working on here, but I can change it if it makes it better. Thanks for the review!
If formatting isn't working for you, try pressing shift before you press enter. One of us ticked off the writing gods, and they have been messing with our format ever since. Nothing we do appeases them, so a few of us worked long and hard to find a shortcut.
I'll try it! Thanks for the tip!
What about now? ^^
It worked!
Yay!
i can totally relate to this 100% my sister and i don't get a long what so ever. i always try and get a long with her but sometimes i can't keep my mouth shut. sometimes she needs to hear the truth from me and how i feel. its not always easy but i just always remind myself i might need her later in life
Oh, I have 7. I know the feeling.
Ugh. But I still love them xD
I have four brothers, all older than me, and two sisters, both younger. I can also relate!