One sacrifice sets many free.
A group of sacrifices lets all see.
Sacrifices stuck behind doors.
Just to bring freedom to the poor.
One can show the freeness.
One can show the fearless
Lady Liberty Stands.
In Statue of Liberty hands.
Freedom.
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
I'm just bored so I'm gonna review this to test my skills (I'm not good on the technical side of poetry)
First off... wait (searches meaning of the word freedom) hmmm, okay.
First line, me like, it perfect.
Oh, nice I like the rhythm in "A group of sacrifices lets all see."
Hmm, sacrifices stick behind doors... just to bring freedom to the poor? It doesn't sound bad it just. Oh! Wait, I understand now, wait, is that like in the negative like "Oh that brings freedom to no one but the lowly poor." or is it a good thing? This is where my confusion stems.
One can show freeness? This... oh wait, wait a minute... One can show fearless... fearlessness you mean not fearless? I dunno
Now the last parts about liberty something is very I like it! It's perfect! The last line.... Freedom, maybe it's to make us picture an American flag, if so it made me so nice work!
I'd rate this a 7/10, average! Maybe my standards are too unrealistically high though? Lol.
Hiii awesome poetry once again
Woww you're so smartt :0
From what I'm seeing this is about the statue of Liberty (honestly I only have a general idea of the story)
This might be a personal skill issue but the poem felt a little vague? What I do like and always like about your poems is the way you write your poems with all the specific pauses and punctuations that just hits in the right place. By the way what does the lines:
"A group of sacrifices lets all see.
Sacrifices stuck behind doors."
Mean?
I believe I donot know much about the subject to write a full review on it so I'm gonna leave at this, hope you have a great day
Keep writing ^^
Honestly I was insanely bored during state testing so I just did something with my essay sources-
Clever way to pass time instead of doomscrolling
Hey Nataleen! Hope you are having a great day - thought I'd stop by to leave a review on this lovely poem! Your poem is putting me in a patriotic mood, which is perfect given we just celebrated Memorial Day yesterday!
Overall Impressions
Overall the poem's meaning to me was that this poem is a somewhat loose tribute to reflections on freedom, told from the perspective of considering both the Statue of Liberty and Lady Liberty. A specific point regarding liberty the poem seems to make is that courageous sacrifice is necessary for liberty - and that though this effects all it is often the actions of one that are needed.
Specific Feedback
Meaning / Lady Liberty + Statue of Liberty Connection
I think that the individual lines could be understood pretty clearly until we get to the last 3 lines. I really couldn't figure out what it would mean that Lady Liberty stands in the Statue of Liberty's hands, I can't imagine what is being said symbolically, figuratively, or literarily. Usually I think people perceive the statue of Liberty... to be a depiction of Lady Liberty (inspired by the Roman Goddess of Liberty: Libertas) but also just as a personification of the concept of Liberty... so for her to stand in her own hands wasn't quite something I could understand the meaning of. I could see how this might work with Lady Justice or Lady Truth? But since the statue is a depiction of Lady Liberty, this didn't quite work for me.
Narrative of Poem
The other lines covered great depth in their simplicity, but could maybe use a little more narrative connection so the readers can understand how the individual lines connect together. For example how does "Sacrifices stuck behind doors" relate to "One can show the fearless"?
Word Choice
I think your simplicity of language worked in this poem overall. The one word I'd maybe change would be "freeness" - while it's a real word, it seems a bit redundant to have the words "free" "freeness" and "freedom" all in the same short poem, and gets a little repetitive without new information being added.
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I like the line "One can show the fearless" - I think people often view freedom as default or easy, but the poem implies there is a need for courage in midst of freedom, which I think is a perceptive and poetic take!
Overall, I enjoyed this poetic take on freedom, and would love to see how you might expand it!
alliyah