Oh, those blue eyes.
Ocean like.
Oh my brown eyes.
Landscape like.
Combined,
is a beautiful sea.
A vast land of ocean and ground
A vast land of you and me..
Oh could it be..
Oh that blonde hair.
Light. sight.
Oh my black hair.
Dark, blind.
Combined,
The darkness lights up from its source..
The sight helps the blind.
One day, will you lead me when I'm blind..?
Will you light up my darkness when I'm down..?..
Will you..?
4-15-26
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139,345 Literary Works • 672,539 Reviews
EYES
(Looking at descriptions)
Painting of eyes, of you and him. Vivid. Longing. Love. (Yes sorry that I'm so vague when I'm in reviewing poet mode.)
EARS
(Looking at dissonants because nothing is ever truly a mistake.)
No spelling mistakes noticed! And I don't really look at other mistakes 'cause I suck at seeking for those.
HEART
(Saying something nice!)
As always, your poem reminds me that you're one of my favorite poets!!
Note: darkness does not blind, not unless it's total darkness. It's just a bit more secretive than light, and it'll only show its secrets if you stay with it for a long time, just you and it. Unless it's total darkness, it does not blind.
I liked these lines a lot: 'The darkness lights up from its source..
The sight helps the blind.'. They felt so mystic aaaaa!
Am probably forgetting a lot, but I'll finish here! Keep up the amazing work!
OMG HI HI HII IVE MISSED YOU %uD83E%uDD79 sadly I%u2019m dissapearing again cuz of marching season%uD83D%uDE14 tyyy
I haven't done a review in a while but I'll try my best here :]
First off, I really like the imagery, it reminds me a lot of the yin-yang concept. I think the image of the sea and land is really pretty, I can feel a sort of yearning and longing, like the narrator is watching from afar and can't quite reach the other.
I also liked the rhythm, especially in the parts contrasting the hair and eyes.
The poem feels a little short, but other than that, I don't see anything really wrong.
You've done a great job turning this moment into a brief but interesting piece. I enjoyed it and can't wait to read what else you write!