Out of all the Stars, You.

OMG I THINK I JUST WROTE A SIMILLAR POEM! Only instead it's called, A Sky Full of Stars. Great minds think alike, don't they?


The first part of your poem talks about all the stars in the world. Normally, I don't like astronomy (if you don't count zodiac signs), but I did read once that there are 200 sextillion stars in our universe. THATS A LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT OF STARS!


''And yet,

I found you.''



Out of all the stars in the galaxy, there can be one that stands out to you the most (I know this is somewhat a romantic poem but let me be a nerd for a second). I admire the sun because how can a star be that hot? Wouldn't it like explode. Out of all the stars in our world, the sun shines the brightest.


This poem is so beautiful and even though my poem and yours might be a little similar, yours is more different than mines because I feel like, I don't know how to describe it, it's just different.

Good Job on your poem friend!

This is so relatable and real. The formatting (bold and italics especially) draws the reader in and pushes them to keep reading.

I love the intro, because it introduces the unfeasible devotion shown with mathematical terms and statistics: sextillions, quintillions, billions (by the way, sextillions is spelled with two "L"s and an "O"). This successfully creates a contrast between emotional draw and logic.
One suggestion though: to make the "And yet/ I found you" hit harder, I suggest reversing the order of numbers to smallest to biggest (billions, quintillions, sextillions).

Another suggestion: "You are my star../Am I yours..?" introduces some uncertainty and doubt. But because you immediately jump to the speaker choosing "you", it feels unresolved. You might want to expand on that, to strengthen the emotional impact.

All in all, this was really good!

EYES
(Looking at descriptions and my perceived meaning of the work)
This work paints a sky of stars and splendor, and I love it! Though there are sextilians, quintillions, billions of stars, you wrote that they are all unique and different and pretty.
So yes, the descriptions are good. I could form an image.
And the work itself is a painting of love, isn't it?

EARS
(Looking at dissonants)
THERE ARE. NO. DISSONANTS. (I call mistakes dissonants instead of mistakes because nothing is truly a mistake, isn't it? But some things do simply make the work sound a bit bad, like dissonants.)

HEART
(Saying something nice! And giving fun reminders!)
I said your poems are always beautiful and so far I'm not seeing anything that makes me want to retract my statement. Rather, it's the opposite.
My favorite lines in this work are 'Out of every one of us on Earth, I choose you, Because to me, You shine brightest..'
Let me tell you something: in my opinion, your feelings are way more pure and lovely than those of soulmates, as soulmates have been bound to each other by the strings of fate and don't know any better (I am bad at explaining), while you actively choose for the one you love, out of all the people on earth, uncontrolled by the strings of fate. I wonder what that person did for the universe to bless him with a love such as yours.. maybe he (still that white guy you talked about, right?) slew a tyrant?

And here's my reminder for you: go give someone you are grateful a hug, or if you don't like hugs, a compliment. Or maybe both a hug and a compliment. Doing such a thing often makes the one giving feel better, too, so it's win-win!

- A big fan of your poems,
Darlet