Young Writers Society

Hullo!

This is a perfect subject for a reflective poem. I like the images of planted, seeds, and bitterness. Since poetry depends so vitally on image and sense-language, I wonder if you could develop that/those images more, using them as the root and earth of the poem? For example, "The see has been planted./And I have waited far too long to remove it." might be the first bit of the verse. How could you deepen it? Often seeds left in bad earth or planted in too much water rot. Perhaps develop the sense of bitter/sweet of herbs that have been left to grow too long, flower, become bitter?

Ending on the ambivalent works quite well, leaving the emotion open, and the reader wondering.

I'd love to see a re-draft with the image of seeds-plant-herbs-bittersweet used to carry the emotion and the story.

Hello! Here for a review!!

Two emotions,

One body.

Bittersweet.

This poem was so powerful to me as it describes the development of sadness in a new light. When we are young, sadness is most often inflicted by the world around us however, as we age, we often bring misery unto ourselves. Consequently, we are subjected to depression in a different way and we become divided. Happiness turns into a concept that we have to earn by our own standards and frequently, these standards are very difficult to attain. Besides its original take on a common idea in our lives, I love the simple organization of this piece. It flows well and has a gorgeous smoothness to it. There is practically nothing I would do to change it. Thus, I hope this powerful concept goes on to inspire other works.