Waves of turquoise,
Rippling in the wind,
Like the vitals on a monitor,
Or the strings of a harp.
And when they are strummed,
They make the greatest symphony.
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140,094 Literary Works • 672,998 Reviews
Hello Boo, I call others this if you don't mind.
I enjoyed this poem it was maybe a little too short, for me, but that's okay Poetry can be anything and everything. This poem will stick with me for a while and make me think of water for a while after reading this poem. I love the descriptive work of this and how you compared the water to instruments. That added some vibrancy to the thinking and to the thought of the words.
The poem flowed nicely with me and I felt satisfied after reading your poem Boo. The way you mentioned color was a nice touch to your poem as well. It felt vivid in my mind what color the water was. The physical feeling of what you described was also satisfying in your text and that was nice. Again the way you described the water and waves on the water, was a nice touch and I could in a sense feel and hear the way you wrote it out.
Keep going strong and write more. I would love to see more of your work appear and see what else you have to say. Less to say I enjoyed it and the flow was good. ^^
Thanks for the review!
Of course! I would gladly do it again!
Hello, Maple!! ^_^ I always love reading your poetry, and I wanted to stop by and leave a review on this lovely piece! This review will probably be on the shorter side, as this poem is also on the shorter side, so I hope you don't mind <3
I love the simplicity of this poem! I think since ripples are gentle and small in the grand scheme of things, the simplicity, shortness, and sweetness of this poem really pairs well with that thought. I also think having this in the center was a really nice touch. Since ripples go inward to out, having this centered also conveys that idea. I also love your simile of the harp here! Ripples and harp are both gentle and sweet sounding things, so I think that was an effective comparison :) Overall, I really enjoyed this lovely piece! c: I don't have much to say, so I'll go line by line and give you a few thoughts <3
I love how you used a specific shade of blue! It's always lovely when a very specific colour name is given c: It really makes the poem seem all the more pretty!
This is just a suggestion, so please ignore this if you don't agree!! :) Is this poem about waves or ripples? You can have soft, calm waves, but I feel that waves and ripples are very different things. So I'm curious as to your choice of starting this out by describing the ripples as waves? If you want to keep that comparison, you could go further into it and describe how the ripples are toned-down waves or something xD but it's up to you! that's just a random thought that came into my head ^_^
Ooh, this is such a neat comparison!! Especially since ripples are seen as this calm, happy thing, but seeing vitals on a monitor can mean something negative, like someone is in the hospital, and that brings a feeling of worrying to me. That's a neat thought!
This is also just a suggestion, so please feel free to ignore if you don't agree!! I really like the comparison, but I do feel it's random - this is because you spend the rest of the poem talking about another comparison, ripples and the harp strings. I think it would be best to stick to one comparison instead of jumping around. But again, disregard this if you don't agree!! ^_^
I think the strings of a heart is a neat comparison, because when you pluck a harp string, it vibrates back and forth, similar to ripples! So I thought that was a neat simile to draw c:
And that's all I got for you! I don't have much to say because I think the simplicity of this is what makes it magical <3 Overall, I really enjoyed reading this poem, and I am seriously enjoying all of the poems you've been putting out recently!!! c: I hope to read more from you soon, and I hope this helps <3
Thanks so much for the review! I've been wanting to do some collaborative poetry and am actually currently doing one with ForeverYoung299! So if you ever want to work on some let me know! Also if you don't that's totally fine a well!
AHHH I WOULD LOVE TO WRITE A POEM WITH YOU SOMETIME <333
Great! I'll pm you in a couple of days with a link to a WFP!
I really love how in appearance it may look simplistic but it each line holds much more meaning than what meets the eye. Great use of descriptive language and especially the simile, "Like the strings of a harp". I would say adding more to the poem is an excellent idea, it will really bring out much more emphasis and impact towards the audience. Amazing job! Keep up the fabulous work!
Thank you!
This is really lovely! The language is colorful and evokes a lot of imagery with rather few words, which is difficult to pull off. I like the harp comparison. Initially, I picture the vibrating strings, but with the addition of the symphony I thought of how sound waves and ripples in water are similar, which is creative. In the fourth line, it looks like you meant to use "strummed" instead of "strung," the word you used means to hang or attach the strings while it reads like you meant when the strings are played.
The conclusion of the poem doesn't provide much catharsis. You could add more to the poem, or rework what's there to feel more conclusive. I would also recommend being more specific with you word choice. For example, "waves" reminds me of large powerful forces, which isn't much like a ripple in otherwise still water.
My overall thoughts are nothing but positive, thank you for bringing me to the tranquility of the waterside for a moment.
Thanks for the review! I'll change it to strummed as well!
This is beautiful!
I like that it's simple, but still has distinct details of the scenery.
This is beautiful!
I like that it's simple, but still has distinct details of the scenery.
Thanks! I might make it longer at a later time!
I actually like it like this, you don't get too much information so as to make it overwhelming, but it's still very sensory and that's really cool
Hey MapleWay!
My name is Elinor, and I thought I would drop by to give your poem a quick review. Overall, I like how simple this poem is, and how it evokes such a simple and clear image. It definitely brought me back to times that I've spent on the beach, watching the waves.
I'm not sure I follow the comparison between ocean waves and a harp. I think, more broadly, comparing it to music makes sense, but I don't think of lapping waves on a beach and then think harp. It seems to because of the strings, but, as mentioned, I think keeping the comparison broad could work well for you.
Like I said, while I like how simple this is, I think you could make it slightly longer. Maybe bring us into the narrator. To me, there isn't a feeling more satisfying then feeling the waves against your ankles and feet. I'm imagining a really peaceful, quiet place, and I'd like to see you make full use of it.
Hope this helps! Feel free to reach out if you have any questions.
Keep writing,
Elinor
Thanks for the review! I'll probably edit it a bit later!