A perfect line,
Straight as an arrow,
With just the slightest ripple.
The sun goes down,
And fades away.
Hiding its secrets
Until the next very day.
It seems infinite
An everlasting straight
Does it ever end?
I squint my eyes
And ponder my thoughts,
As I listen to the gentle waves.
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140,101 Literary Works • 673,000 Reviews
Hi, MapleWay!
First, I want to say that you did a great job writing this. You used really good imagery. I could perfectly see this sunset you were writing about in my head.
The only suggestion I really have is that in the line "And ponder my thoughts" it's very vague. What kind of thoughts? What were you thinking of? Please don't feel pressured to change it, I just thought it could be something to make your poem better.
All in all, great job! Keep up the amazing work
Signed,
Pineapple
Thanks for the review!
Hey MapleWay!
I really like reading about nature and especially when it comes to poems. There's just so much to learn and appreciate and emotion of course. This too was something like that. I really liked the part
It seems infinite
An everlasting straight
and the last two lines. One can almost imagine themselves sitting on the rocks and listening to the gentle waves as you put it. Looking forward to reading more!
Hey MapleWay!
I really like reading about nature and especially when it comes to poems. There's just so much to learn and appreciate and emotion of course. This too was something like that. I really liked the part
It seems infinite
An everlasting straight
and the last two lines. One can almost imagine themselves sitting on the rocks and listening to the gentle waves as you put it. Looking forward to reading more!
Hey MapleWay!
I really like reading about nature and especially when it comes to poems. There's just so much to learn and appreciate and emotion of course. This too was something like that. I really liked the part
It seems infinite
An everlasting straight
and the last two lines. One can almost imagine themselves sitting on the rocks and listening to the gentle waves as you put it. Looking forward to reading more!
Thanks for the reveiew!
Hello. ForeverYoung here for a review.
This was an awesome one.
Grows:
I don't think steel is the perfect word here. Maybe, you can replace it with an arrow.
I didn't get the concept of gentle waves. Can you please explain it to me?
Glows:
This was quite good. My favourite lines are
This was a great read. Keep it up.
Bye!!!!!
Thanks for the review! I liked your use of the word arrow and the reason I used the word ripple was that I was looking out to th horizon over the ocean.