He was dandy, a bulk man with a firm grip; defining protection,
His physical self, shielded the fears and vulnerability felt,
His height and width, a wall to the dangers of the vicious world,
His hands held my waist and thighs tightly, to cherish and nurture my slender, petite exterior,
But it wasn’t enough,
He gave me so little,
There was no warmth,
There was no love.
Only safety and security,
provide and protect.
But she will love,
She will open a gate to new adventures into love and exploration,
Her touch, her breath, her careful embrace,
Slow to feel, slow to kiss.
Eager to embellish my soul with heated satisfaction,
The inspiration to my tears of joy,
she will protect, she will provide alongside me.
She will love.
Love,
Love,
Love,
There is the attraction,
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,565 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
Hi, legibletext!
This poem is a really good one. What caught my eye was the title- it seemed unique from the others. Now the poem, it was very nice and I enjoyed reading it. You were very clear when you described the character's characteristics and the emotions they went through. I liked how you expressed what love means to you.
My favourite lines would be:
"But she will love,
She will open a gate to new adventures into love and exploration,
Her touch, her breath, her careful embrace,
Slow to feel, slow to kiss.
Eager to embellish my soul with heated satisfaction,
The inspiration to my tears of joy,
she will protect, she will provide alongside me."
Overall: a unique poem which i totally love.
- Aliha
Hey It's Bigmacloves Here For Another Review...
This poem was a very outstanding piece of literature. I say that because it didn't just represent the basics of the topic. It also showed us your thoughts on love. However, There was some parts that I should note.
I was really caught by "she will provide alongside me" because I couldn't help to wonder what you were trying to tell us. However, I'm not bringing this up as a bad thing. I'm bringing this up because of the fact that a true poem shouldn't be to easy to understand. People need to be able to wonder and think about what you are trying to tell them throughout your poem. So to be honest you did an amazing job on making this seem like a true poem.
Next, I would like to bring up the fact that the poem seemed like it jumped back and forth in my head. I don't know if this is because of the wording or because of how I was reading it. It was most likely because of how I was reading it. Now that I think about it. It was an amazing and outstanding poem.
Wow, those were some kind words. Thanks so much!
No Problem Legible, I only speak the truth
Hey! XD
You've got an interesting view on love in this piece.
'There is the attraction,
There is my place. ' ~ These ending lines caught my attention for a reason I can't explain. But you have a very open tone to your writing and I love it.
'Her touch, her breath, her careful embrace,
Slow to feel, slow to kiss.' ~ Some of the ideas are a little bit cliche, but then again, I am a romantic, so I appreciate the imagery you have used here.
Your use of punctuation and spelling etc, is great and the piece is technically sound. You've got a nice a little work here, as a commentary on love and you should be proud of it. Well done.
Thank you so much!!