(New) Guardians Chapter 2

Walking through our village always took much longer than expected. No matter which part you were in.

If you were in an area with mostly cottages you were often called over to someone’s home for tea or pulled into a child’s game. If you were in town you could be stopped by any number of people for a quick chat or grabbed by someone who needed an errand run. Everyone knew everyone in Parcel.

Today Christiana and I were lucky, we were only stopped by a few passers-by for a quick hello. It still takes about twice the amount of time to get to the square than it should.

The square was the best part of our village in my opinion. A big fountain dominated the center, and different shops surrounded it.

People came to the square to so everything. Most people though came to get water from the fountain to wash with or use for cooking. Children usually came to race boats across the fountain.

I usually stopped to take it all in. To listen to the children’s quick playing footsteps on the stone, to hear the bubbling fountain, to see the stone and wood buildings. But Christiana was impatient today and pulled me along to a small shop jammed in between two others.

We opened the door and can barely fit inside.

"Haro!" Christiana called into the mess. "Your girls are here!"

We hear a low rumbling from somewhere in the shop, and then a loud bang as something metal hit the floor.

"Ah! My ladies, you have come at last!" Haro called from near the bang.

I stood on my tip-toes to try to see over the piles of clutter. "Haro where are you?"

"Honestly I do not know. I went for a stroll past a stack of books and ended up by the boxes of old arrowheads." He yelled from somewhere to our left.

I looked around some more in the dimly lit shop. It was filled with so much junk that it's hard to find anything. It really was inconvenient, but that's Haro for you.

"Keep talking Haro, I am going to try to find you." Christiana shouted as she pushed her way into the piles and stacks of stuff.

Haro started singing a song I've never heard of, and I doubt anyone else had either.

I leaned against the doorway and close my eyes, listening to Haro's song.

I couldn't understand any of the words he is singing. Haro still knew the old forest tongue and spoke it often, but mostly sang old forest melodies.

"Found him!" Christiana called after a while. "We're coming back to you Natura!"

Soon enough Christiana pushed her way back through the piles with Haro close behind.

Every time I saw him I was surprised. You would think that he would be a small old man with experience and strange stories of the old days. But Haro was only around twenty years, although no one was really sure, and he was a little taller than Christiana who was a little taller than me.

"Thank you dear Christiana. Who knows how long I would have been back there." he said in his soft kind voice, "And hello to you Miss Natura."

"Hello Haro." I greeted happily. Haro always had a way of making others happy. "What shall we do today?"

"Well ladies. I have come to the decision that this," he gestured to the mess his show was, "needs a little order."

"Really now?" Christiana commented sarcastically. "Why ever would you think that?"

"I guess you two have finally gotten to me." He laughed. "Well what are we waiting for, get to work ladies!"

We all set to work in the small standing area we have, trying to pile and stack things as neatly as possible. When we find one of Haro's bookcases we start stacking things on the worn wood shelves instead of the messy floor.

I had no clue where Haro managed to collect all the stuff he has in his shop, and I also have no clue who buys it.

He had everything from books to bird cages, arrowheads to amulets. Christiana and I had often tried to crack some of the mysteries around Haro, but we never got any plausible answers and he never seemed to feel the need to give us the truth.

"Um Haro?" Christiana called from somewhere in the mess.

"Yes Miss Christiana?" He called from somewhere else.

"I think something died over here." she said warily.

"That is probably just something River dragged in." I heard his voice closer to where Christiana's was. He must have found her. "That old fox is always dragging things in here and losing them.

I pushed my way through to see a dead something on the floor.

As if on cue the small bushy orange fox jumped onto the nearby windowsill, tilting his head to the side as if asking "Did someone mention me?"

"I wonder how he loses them." I joke to myself.

Haro walks over and strokes his old friend lovingly.

Christiana and I smiled to each other and continued organizing, stacking, and shelving.

It took most of the day but by the time I had to leave the shop was in a much better state.

"Oh. My. Goodness." Christiana says dramatically. "I can see all four walls when I stand in the middle of the room. It's magical, I had no idea there were bookshelves on that wall, or that light could come in through those windows in the front."

Haro and I laughed at Christiana as she faints dramatically and falls to the ground from the spot we collapsed at on the floor.

I watched the receding light out the window, and felt the cool evening air blowing in through the windows.

"I should get going." I said.

"Okay Miss Natura. See you tomorrow around the same time." Haro told me.

I stood up to leave.

"Oh wait! Your pay." Haro said quickly as he pulled a handful of coins from his pocket. "Here you go Miss Natura, you earned it like always.

He placed two gold coins and five silver coins in my hand. He was always so generous.

Supposedly though Haro has a million gold coins stashed somewhere. No one knows how he became so wealthy, it's just another mystery.

I turned to leave.

"Bye Natura!" Christiana called to me from her spot on the floor.

I waved back as I headed home.

I took it slow, enjoying the comfortable evening air. Today was a good day, nothing could have brought me down.

As I walked I began to feel uncomfortable. It felt as though someone was watching me. I looked to the building closest to me, it was the village pub. It wasn’t the pub that had been making me uncomfortable. No, it was the familiar daunting gaze of Sophia coming from her scornful face in the doorway of the pub that made me uncomfortable.

Had I said nothing could bring me down?

“Natura,” one of Sophia’s followers, Charlotte I think her name was, hung out the window nearest the door, “where are you going Natura?”

“Going home to change your clothes Natura?” another called from behind Sophia, “Tired of looking dirty are we, Natura?”

I didn’t look at them long, I tried to keep walking. My face was burning though.

“Oh come back Natura.” Charlotte called after me, “We aren’t done with you yet.”

“She’s not worth our time Charlotte.” Sophia hissed.

The girl behind Sophia pouted, “But we haven’t told her about your acceptance into the Academy yet.”

“Why does it matter, Constance?” Sophia said nonchalantly, “It’s no use bragging to someone who never even stood a chance to begin with.”

I held back my temper. They weren’t worth it. Sophia and her dirty followers weren’t worth it. Besides, what did it matter to me if Sophia would be attending the Ascensian Academy? I applied, but would die before I ever thought about attending. Everyone had to apply at the conclusion of our schooling here in Parcel.

“You’re right Sophia,” Constance praised.

“Of course I am,” she agreed. “I mean just look at her. No one would let someone like Natura even close to the Ascensian Academy. They have standards."

Sophia had a heart of pure evil. Her family owned the pub and rumors were always going around about what Sophia actually does in the pub at night. Her whole family was considered to have a few too little acorns in their oak trees. I rolled my eyes at the use of one of my dad’s sayings.

I forced myself to walk away. I couldn’t help but examine myself as I walked, though.

I wore typical Icarthian clothing, a cotton dress that fell to my knees tied at my waist with a leather rope and tights cut off a little below where the dress ended. Of course my clothes were a little dirtier and worn out that some other girls', but I climbed a lot of trees and spent much more time outside that Sofia and her friends.

Even though I didn't really care what Sofia thought I straightened my clothes out a little and brushed some dirt off of me.

I eventually gave up on trying to look better.

I came into view of my little cottage sooner than I expected, which always seemed to happen when I fell into my own thoughts. In the evening our cottage looked small and lovely nestled between the others. My mother’s flowers were blooming in her gardens, my father’s fence just as perfect as the day he built it.

I ran my hand along the smooth wood of the fence as I walked the length of our house. I opened the gate and caught the sound of my parents talking in our little kitchen.

I headed up the stone walkway and into our open doorway.

The moment I came inside I became the center of attention.

My mother and father stood by the small hearth, looking at me with giant smiles on their faces and Nolen was giving me a look that seemed to say you are not going to like this.

"Natura." my mother started happily. "You have been accepted at the Ascensian Academy!"

"And you're going." my father added quickly.

"What!?!" I almost yelled.

"I told you she would react like that." Nolen said a matter-of-factly.

I looked at my parents with my mouth open in shock. I couldn't believe they would make me go.

"Natura darling. You don't understand what a wonderful opportunity this is for you." my mother explained. "You are so smart and this will do you so much good."

"And you don't have a choice." my father added again.

My mother turns to him. "Josia that is no way to convince her."

"Well frankly Frena, she doesn't have a choice. We both agreed she should go so she is going." he demands.

I knew they had the best of intentions, but this was getting ridiculous.

"Do I get any say in this!?" I was yelling now. "It is my life that would be changing, so let me decide!"

I stood in the middle of my kitchen exasperated, watching my parents looking at each other trying to think of what to say next.

"Natura you will regret it if you don't go." my father argues. "We are only doing what is best for you." He was who I got my short temper from.

"I will regret it if I do go. Why can't you understand that!?" I yelled, but I didn't wait for an answer.

I ran through the kitchen and through our little sitting room and out the back door. I threw myself over the fence and when I landed on the other side I kept running straight into the trees. I knew where I was going.

I kept running until I reached a big tree that stretches out over a cliff beside a waterfall. I climbed straight into the tree without pausing for a moment. I pulled myself higher and higher until I reached a big branch that hung over the cliff.

I sat on the branch, still steaming with anger.

My father would insist on me going to this stupid Academy. My thoughts fumed. Just because his mother was some big star there and he never got to go. He would make me go to fulfill his dreams.

I looked out over the cliff and down the river at the tiny village of Riverton. I watched the boats docking for the night at the port. I watched as lights were lit in the houses and lanterns were lit along the docks.

It looked peaceful and quiet in the fading evening light.

I relaxed back on the familiar branch. I've come here to think ever since I was little. It has been my safe house, my refuge. Now I sat there thinking of my impending doom.

I had to go away from Icarthia, I had to leave everything I had ever known and start new at the Academy. I wouldn't even get to bring Christiana along. Somehow she had managed to get out of applying.

I considered my options.

I could go to this school and be open to new things and possibly enjoy myself, which was doubtful. Or I could go to this school and hate it for the next three years, which was much more likely. Or...or I could be brilliant and purposely fail the trials and not even be allowed into the Ascensian Academy. The perfect plan.

I looked up into the branches and leaves of the big old tree. Small fairies were flying around creating a tiny green and yellow light show. If I listened hard enough I could hear the small tinkling laughter as they played.

I instinctively ran my thumb over the writing engraved on the back of the stone on my necklace. My grandmother gave it to me when I was very young. She always told me the story of the Guardians, the Guardians of the Light, but I eventually stopped believing her. Nothing was like that story any more. Magic was hardly used in Icarthia now and everyone had forgotten the old ways.

I closed my eyes and tried to remember the story anyways. I didn't have to try hard, the story was engraved in my mind. I will myself to believe in them and their bravery again. I wished so hard that I could trust in the legend one more time. But I couldn't make myself believe in something I knew didn't exist.

So I sat silently, breathing in the night air and the almost magical scent of the river and the forest. I almost caught a belief in the legend for a moment, but it was gone in the time it took me to breathe out again.

"Natura?" I heard Christiana call from the darkness below the tree. I hadn't even heard her coming. "Natura you have your parents worried sick. You father actually said that he was so worried he could shop down seventeen maple trees, which I didn't understand but I took it as him being really worried."

"They know where I am." I said quietly.

"Only you and I know how to get here though." she reminded me of the secrecy of this spot.

She climbed into the tree and sat facing me on the branch.

"So what are you going to do?" she asked in a very calm and non-Christiana way.

"Well I plan on failing the trials so I don't have to go." I explain.

Christiana burst out in laughter. "Like you could actually do that. You are way too competitive to even come close to failing.

She's right.

"I don't want to go to the Academy though..." I said.

She smiled comfortingly. "I know."

"So I won't go." I decided.

"But you can't turn this sort of thing down Natura. I wish I could go, but I never would have been smart enough to make it. You are so much smarter than I am." she told me.

I didn't want to argue this with her any more. She didn't deserve the anger I gave my parents.

"What would I do without you Christi; I couldn't just leave you behind." I cross my arms and look away from her, feeling worse every time I thought about it.

"Oh Nat," she said, making fun on the nickname I gave her, "you are going to make so many new friends. The real question is what am I going to do without you?"

I gave her a doubtful look.

"I'm serious!" she insisted, although she was laughing a little as she said it.

"You have Haro anyways. You know he secretly loves you." I joked. Kind of.

She sighed. "Well I can't talk to him about a lot of the stuff we talk about."

"See you love him too." I teased.

She rolled her eyes at me. "Seriously though Natura." she wasn't joking anymore, "I am going to miss you like crazy, but you can't let that stop you from going."

Christiana had to always be my voice of reason, and I had to be hers.

I sighed and leaned back again.

"I guess it wouldn't be terrible..." I decided reluctantly.

"There we go, that's the Natura I know and love." Christiana smiled at me.

"Oh yeah." I said sarcastically.

She laughed and playfully pushed me. This almost knocked me out of the tree, so I pushed her back. She did fall out of the tree.

I heard her splash in the river below.

"That was not fair Natura!" she yelled at me.

I leaned over the branch and watched her floating in the river.

"That was very fair." I told her.

"Get down here!" she demanded.

I stand on the branch and jump off, falling through the air until I hit the water.

I resurfaced and looked around. "Whoa it's dark."

"Yeah, come on let's get out of the river. We have to climb all the way back up that cliff now." Christiana said.

"Ugh." I complained.

We pulled ourselves out of the water and managed to climb the cliff, collapsing at the top.

"That was terrible." I gasped.

Christiana looked over at me. "That's what you get for pushing me out of the tree."

I laughed as much as I could with the amount of breath I had left. "I am sure going to miss you Christiana."

"That reminds me!" she jumped up and grabbed something from below the big oak tree.

"What?" I said as I sat up.

She sat across from me with a jar and a small paint brush.

"Give me your left ankle." she instructed.

I realized quickly what the jar was. "No way." I pulled my knees to my chest.

"Now." she demanded with a slightly evil gleam in her eye. "I have something for us to do."

"You are not going to alter any part of my body!" I shouted defensively.

"Jeez Natura, it's not what you think. Just trust me." she coaxed.

"Okay..." I gave in.

She pulled my leg towards her and drew something small right by my ankle.

"What is it?" I asked, inspecting her artistry. "It's not permanent is it?"

"No it is not permanent." she explained. "It's a symbol from the ancient Icarthian language that means strong."

It was obvious that I still didn't understand

"You will need to be strong at the Ascensian Academy. And our friendship will always be strong. It has two meanings for you." she explained.

"Hmmm, I think I can live with that." I decided.

Christiana smiled. "It's not going to last long, so you will have to keep redrawing it with ink."

"I definitely will. So do you get the same thing?" I asked.

"Yeah, and you get to draw it." she told me, sticking her left foot in my face.

"Do you really trust me to do this?" I asked, hoping she would say no, because I was pretty sure I would mess it up.

"I trust you Natura. Besides, it doesn't mean anything if I draw them both."

"Fine." I took the brush from her and drew a hopefully similar design on her ankle. The fairies in the trees provided a little bit of light for me to draw by.

"There you did fine." she complimented. "No let's get you home."

We stood up and started off towards Parcel.

I was off to my new life not knowing if it would be a good thing, or a bad thing, which worried me.

Comments & reviews · 3
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Lauren2010
Comment

Thanks for the review! A little note on the dreams: they are pretty crucial to stuff that will happen later, and they are better explain as a little more than just dreams. But I don't want to give anything else away. And thanks for the tips on those cliched scenes. I've been trying to figure out a way to better portray her rival. I know how she will be later, my problem is future planning and skipping out on the supporting details. =/ But thanks for the review! =)

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Pattycakes
Review

This review comments on all parts of the story so far, but in particular chapter 2 looked like it needed a review so, here!

Prolouge
Hmm, I don't think I'm a huge fan of the prolouge. It feels kind of like a big infodump. I mean, the description at the beginning with the Grandmother is good as are some of the comments thorughout but the actual telling of the story isn't as magical as it's being made to be. I think you need to mess around with your writing style (word choice, punctuation, italics etc.) on that part to make it less like a story summery and more like a fairytale. Maybe try emulating some simple children's fairytales in style

Haro's House
I thought this character and his setting were very interesting. The mountains of stuff, lost language, and talking fox (!) were pretty cool. I dug this.

Take me to town
Excellent, both at the beginning of ch. 2 and when she's sitting in that tree I thought your grasp over the scenery and your skill in bringing that town to life was one of your strongest points. I could imagine walking through the town or looking out into the harbour. Props!

Why-alouge? Character-why-zation? Why am I doing this?
I thought your character's interactions were a mixed bag. I don't think your writing style is bad per say, but I've read all these conversations before and I've read them better. The "Bully classmate with troupe of minions", the "Parents just don't understand", and "Friends forever" scenes were in places dull in their predictability. The stuff like the little mark on the ankle was something that freshened these passages up, I''d like to see you put more of these little details in the other kinda cliched scenes.
I mean, we've all seen the hotheaded authoritative father, but why is he so desperate that she go to this school? Did he miss his chance to go to this academy? See the sort of cool characterization stuff you did in the chapter 1 (the dad forgetting the tool box) and interesting physical descriptions went plum out the window in some of these scenes.
The scene with Sofia pains me in its resemblance to every one dimensional rival I've ever read. You need to give Motives or Motivations when characters act like she does, and you need to do so pretty much immediately.
Let me tell you a story about a kid who I had these sorts of interactions with at around the age of 15. We'll call him Can Drocker. now Can was a jerk, and also often had a posse like this. But there are reasons (or at least perceived ones) behind those two facts. He might have been a jerk because he constantly underperformed and was held in comparison to his overachieving siblings causing him to lash out. He might've had all those minions because his family was wealthy and the minions used him for stuff.
Are those motives true? I can't be sure. But I do know little details like that make a deeper character than just the 'sneering rival' portrayed here. I also appreciate the difficulty in giving out these sorts of details in the first person, but I think it makes that particular character more interesting and less laughable.

I must be dreaming
Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. No. No dream sequences. There's a special kind of feeling that occurs in me every time someone writes a scene that has intrigue and peril and then: "My eyes flew open and I jolted upward into a sitting position." It's a lot like dropping an ice cream cone on the ground. I mean, yeah, you could pick it up and try and get that flavor back, but it's not going to taste the same. I highly urge you to find a way to pull this scene off without leaning on this crutch, because it's overdone, a lazy plot device, and makes (at least me personally) roll my eyes and distrust your narrative.

But, overall, pretty enjoyable stuff. I think your descriptive writing is extremely strong and your character's are (though not always) in most cases enjoyable and interesting. I think the plot holds strong potential as well, and I'm anxious to see you open up the rest of this world to me. Nice work, keep wiritng!

-Pattycakes



Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.
— C. Northcote Parkinson