Young Writers Society

Woohoo! I simply love dream-poems, because they really allow the writer to explore areas of their creativity that other poems (especially love) don't allow them to do.
Firstly I shall get my single criticism over with. You have written two rhyming couplets as the first two lines, and so I am expecting a third,so when Terror wwon't rhyme with Darkness it was a bit of a let down.
What I really like, however, is the recurring theme of vanilla and cocoa, because cocoa is such a likely thing to dream about if had before bed, and vanilla seems ro match perfectly! It was really nice when you brought vanilla back at the end as you "silver lining".
Hope This Helps,
Take That You Fiend!

Hello Laure! Griff, here for an extremely short review.

I love this poem! It flowed really nicely, and the ending just made me smile. My favorite line was

It hollows out hopes and warm vanilla dreams

While tendrils of coca dripped, crumbling the seams

Hi, Laure! A wonderful poem you have here. A simple one but it has a good use of figurative imagery. I liked how the poem flowed- it wasn't choppy so congrats for that. The whole used food to describe each moment; I think that was very very creative.

My favourite lines would be:

"It hollows out hopes and warm vanilla dreams
While tendrils of coca dripped, crumbling the seams
And I too, crumbled like bread in searing darkness"

Overall: An interesting poem and wish you luck with your future poems.

- Anshira; Ink Force

Hey there Laure, Niraco here this Review Day giving you – what else – a review! 
Firstly I’d like to talk about your title. It made me hungry. As did your actual poem. I loved the food images you put into your poem which were related to your title. 
Such as:

crumbled like bread in searing darkness

It hollows out hopes and warm vanilla dreams

Thank you all so so much for the likes! I can't believe I made it into the spotlight!

Wow! This is so amazing!
I love your writing style in this, it's so brilliant!
"shadows playing strings," Beautiful!

The title intrigues readers, and the poem blows them away completely.

A few little improvements..
Perhaps change "dissolved" to "dissolving" as this is in present tense, and it just gives the reader that image of fading more.

Now, I love your last line, it's great and finishes the poem, making it complete, I'd have suggested to perhaps put "vanilla" on another separate line to add effect, but I actually think it works great on the same line, with the comma there it adds a lot!
I also quite enjoyed how you contrasted the fear with the sweetness.
With words like "terror" and "darkness" with "hopes" and "dreams" great work.

Plus, I ALSO love your second last line, referring to it as a "silver lining of white" which kind of links to clouds, and making the poem have a positive vibe and it's just- just- amazing!
Great work, bookworm.
-CFG