let's paint a million pictures
until our walls are filled,
let's do a thousand somersaults
down rainbow-coloured hills.
let's dance a hundred silly dances
and climb a hundred trees,
let's tell each other all our stories
and swim in every sea.
and when the day is done and through,
there is no need for sorrow;
there are still a hundred thousand things
i want to do with you tomorrow.
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Maybe you needed to put commas instead of semicolons but this is only my opinion.I think atleast for me it makes it look better and helps the flow go on smoothly.Still the write's choice,of course.
This is sweer,innocent and adorable.
Good job!It looks amazing~
I really enjoyed this. It was just so cute ^-^ Honestly, just... just adorable.
I see there was a comment about capitalization, but I'm glad you kept it this way. It seems to show more innocence.
Thanks very much!!
I'm glad you liked it.
I like the poem being short and cute.It is indeed really very sweet.I would suggest using a comma(,) instead of the semicolon(;) after sorrow in the third paragraph.I would also suggest you to make it a bit more rhyming.The poem as overall is quite nice.Keep it up and keep writing!
Thank you for your feedback!! I appreciate it
Penprincess,
Just like your description suggests, this poem is really cute! c: I've read it like three times over and it just makes me smile, awh.
My only suggestion is to get rid of the word "tomorrow". I know you kind of had this slight rhyming thing going, but even if you were just to drop that word, you wouldn't notice that the last line didn't go with "sorrow". I'm just saying this cause when I read it, reading "tomorrow" in my head, was extra and it didn't flow well.
All up to you though!
Keep expressing.
-Percybeth
Thanks for your feedback!!
Hi, my names Andy and I'm so in love with this. It is stinking adorable and I love the way you rhyme. Every time I rhyme no one likes it but I think rhyming just adds a little extra to a cute little poem. Whether this is between a couple or just best friends you can feel the love between the two and it's just so cute. I love your word choice and I'm sure there's a reason behind why nothing capitalized? Other than that it's very cute and just loving. Good job!
Thanks very much! I really appreciate it
You are very welcome!
This is such a great poem! It brings a smile to my face and really makes me think. Great job!
Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it!
Hooray!