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Young Writers Society



Antlers - Prologue

by Que


Note: This is just the prologue, it's accidentally pretty long but the rest of the chapters shouldn't be like that. I would split it up, but I just didn't want to do that to the prologue since it's kind of meant to be all together. This is just an idea I've had for a while but I don't know what will happen with it so enjoy?

Alexei had always known who he was- or what he was, rather. He couldn't remember the day they'd found out, but he liked to hear his parents tell him about it.

He had been three, they said. He had been running around outside and bumped his head. When he came crying to his mother, she's scooped him up in her arms and run her long fingers through his tangled hair. Although she'd expected to find a small bump, she hadn't expected to find two. Two small stumps protruded from Alexei's head.

Just as she called for his father, panic entering her voice, the wind blew the door open with a bang that made her jump. Standing in the doorway, the picture of power and serenity, was the Lord of the Forest- the Great Stag.

The couple stopped moving, stopped breathing. Nearly everyone knew who he was, but... it was more myth than fact. The Lord of the Forest practically embodied nature- he was the protector of all animals and creatures of the Eastern Forest. He was a creature of justice, though he never interfered with human affairs unless they entered his territory.

Alexei's mother always told him later that she could've sworn the Great Stag was smiling as he talked to them. As he told them what their son was destined for.

The Great Stag wasn't immortal. Each Stag had to choose an heir at some point, someone to reign in his stead. Legend had it that the first Lord of the Forest had been purely animal, but fell in love with a human woman. He used his magic to become human too, and she fell in love with him too. They had a son together, but he felt the pull of the forest and had to return. He knew that if she truly loved him, his magic could turn her into a deer as well, but it failed. She didn't truly love him.

Heartbroken, the Lord of the Forest retreated to his homelands, never to come in contact with humans again. Years later, his son, now grown, approached him for help. He was slowly transforming into a deer. The Stag agreed for his son's sake, and raised him to rule. In doing so, he realized that though his son now looked like a stag, he had some human aspect, some necessary compassion that he lacked.

And so it happened that whenever the time came to select a new heir, they selected a human. This human would grow into a stag eventually and become the new Lord of the Forest. And Alexei had been chosen.

His parents had been okay with it, somehow. It seemed to fit, as if, even at the age of three, he had been a good choice. Alexei wasn't sure, but he had grown up knowing his future. Fearless.

There wasn't much about him to indicate what he was, and what he was destined to be. By now, at the age of seventeen, his antlers were full grown. The Great Stag came by at key points in his life, and showed him the magic he needed to conceal those telling antlers- and the tail. He had that too. His ears were larger than normal and covered in soft fur; he could hear extraordinarily well.

So he learned to conceal his appearance before others. They saw nothing, and he lived as much of a normal life as he could. Alexei had known that he was in trouble in seventh grade, though. He had found the most wonderful hat, but he couldn't wear it because of those antlers. It was the only time he ever disliked who he was- what he was.

The Lord of the Forest hadn't been happy, but showed him how to change the density of the fabric, manipulating it like liquid, pull the hat over his head, then put it back to normal. It wasn't a magic that was usually taught, but the Great Stag had seen something in him, had known he wouldn't use it for anything other than the hat. And so began his hat collection and obsession.

Thus, Alexei stood in front of his mirror, putting on a newsboy cap, his antlers sticking out, visible only to him. His hair was mostly tucked underneath the cap, but a few unruly curls of a light copper brown fell across his forehead. He grinned at himself, freckles stretching, and straightened his green knit sweater.

He was finally a senior- it was the first day of the last year of school in his life, for he would fully transform the day he turned eighteen, at the first light of dawn on the first of May.

Some might have thought it sad, going away and never seeing friends again, but Alexei had spent his whole life preparing. He felt ready. Not too many attachments, nothing left undone. There could be no surprises.

Nothing could shake him from his course now.

----

Samantha had put her armor together piece by piece that summer. And by armor, she meant glasses. It had been the hardest things she's ever attempted, but now they were fully operational. The glasses would transform everything she was seeing into information, data. It helped her see things the way they really were.

Samantha had been searching for a cure for being a hopeless romantic for a while now. She had friends when she was younger, but also enemies. That part was fine, but as time went by, she discovered that she could look into a hateful person's eyes and see things their way.

She would instantly fall in love.

Not necessarily romantic love, but she would truly understand and love that person. Which made it so much easier for them to hurt her, and hurt her they did. Samantha- not Sam, never Sam- was done with being hurt. It was safest to be emotionally detached.

One specific instance that she would always remember was with a girl named Angelica. When it got warmer in the spring, Samantha would often walk to school to be alone with her thoughts. Angelica ambushed her the first time she did, shoving her to the ground and stealing her lunch. That first time she was filled with hatred, letting it bubble up inside. Then Angelica paused and looked back. In that instant, when Samantha met her eyes, she was lost. The girl clearly didn't have a lunch of her own, and it made Samantha sad to see her resort to such violence in order to live decently. "I forgive you," she had said softly.

From that moment on, Angelica met her every day and stole her lunch. She went through a whole year like that, never having lunch. Her parents were too tied up to mind much, and Samantha didn't complain. Angelica would sometimes insult her, but Samantha would only say, "I forgive you."

It wasn't hard to deal with that, but Angelica didn't make matters private. Soon, most everyone in the school knew that Samantha was a weakling. That she would stand down if anyone tried to hurt her or abuse her. And then it wasn't just Angelica stealing from her and insulting her. There was a small group of people every morning, and Samantha just wanted to curl up into a little ball and hide.

Her parents weren't incredibly interested, so she never really found the chance to tell them any of that. It was her teachers who noticed, when one of their best- albeit also one of the quietest- students was constantly tardy. They held a meeting, and after that, most of the bullying stopped. There was still the occasional snide remark or abuse far from the teachers' watchful eyes, and it was enough to make Samantha's heart break. Again and again and again.

Thus, she had developed her armor bit by bit. The glasses were only part of it, really. She only wore a bit of makeup, but it was the way she wore it... everything about her suggested a perfect, put together young woman with a purpose and a future. Someone untouchable.

As her siblings rushed around senselessly, screaming at each other while her parents worked to calm them all down, Samantha rolled up the cuffs of her button down shirt with uncanny precision. Her hair fell across her shoulders in waves of molten chocolate; she wasn't sure if she looked beautiful, but it wasn't her intention to. Her green-hazel eyes were concealed behind those magnificent glasses, which she had decided to tint so no one could read her eyes either. To distance herself further.

Everyone went into that first day of senior year with something different in mind. Some couldn't wait for school to finally be over, to start college. Some wanted to get a girlfriend or boyfriend, to form a relationship instead of caring about school. Some wanted to finish in glory. Some just wanted to fade from existence. But Sam? She was going to survive, and bring senior year to its knees. She would ace every last class she had, make sure no one bothered her, and triumph. Her victory was sure.

Nothing could shake her from her course now.


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Fri Jun 02, 2017 2:03 am
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queenofscience wrote a review...



Hi. QofS here.

I realky like this. I love fanansty with nature and animals. It's not often that you hear about a character turning into a deer. This is so cool. I havn't seen any books with characters turning into deer, but i'm sure they may,or may not exsist. Either way, this is a really cool idea.

I really like your characters so far. I love how you described the glasses being like armor. I love Samantha. She seems really kind and sweet, like me (yes, my name is Samantha, and I wear glasses because of my low vison.) Probleams could also arise for Samantha maby because she's meek, maby she's like 'a doormat' to other people. I feel like in YA books we need to have more sweet/gental characters, hero/heroines who arn't 'destened' to 'save the day and be the hero' but they are faced with some conflict and they do the right thing. In my stores (my story about Phe, which is on YWS if you want to read what I have so far) has many sweet/likeable and disabled characters. Not 'every' character in YA has to be physicaly strong in order to be likeable. Mosty that is unrealatable. I congratulate you on this!


I felt that this prolauge was really long, and I felt that you could of wraped up the prolauge after you told about your main character. I think that you could of waited in a future chapter (chapter 1, 2 ect) to introduce Samantha.

Just my opinion, though. However, this great writing, it was well orginized and easy to follow. It had a fairytale vibe to it. Great for fanasty that deals with nature.

I want to see where the story goes. Keep writing! Your doing a great job.

(PS. May you reveiw my updated chapter 1 on my story? Thanks.)




Que says...


Thanks for the review! In glad you like the idea of someone turning into a deer, sorry the prologue was so dang long (I had so much to say!). Samantha's going to be an interesting character to write, because her glasses kind of enable her to be sassy or make remarks she ordinarily wouldn't, but on the inside she's still this precious child. I haven't been doing much reviewing, but I'll see if I can get to your chapter after my end-if-the-year finals finish tomorrow!





Thank you. Wow, this is a cool idea!



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Thu Jun 01, 2017 11:31 pm
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TheEpicTurtle wrote a review...



Hey Falconer! Great idea, I generally don't read fantasy, but this beginning is really good. The characters are relatable, and you have a great backstory. It is a little bit long for a prologue, but for an introduction, it would be perfect. I got a little confused with the mention of armor at first, but your explanation really smoothed things out.
Great job!

Elaine, TheEpicTurtle




Que says...


Thanks!



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Mon May 29, 2017 2:34 am
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PrincessInk wrote a review...



Hiya Falconer. So I'm loving the idea here--about the boy who would replace the Stag, and the girl who kept loving whether she wanted to or not.

I do see a lot of backstory here. Writing convention states that backstory should be woven into the narrative little by little, but...I enjoyed reading it. The story about the Stag intrigued me and makes me wonder if Samantha is somehow related to the woman who didn't really love the first Great Stag after all. So I don't know if that's bad or not.

One part that threw me off in the backstory was where the parents were fine with the Great Stag having Alexei as his heir. It felt as though it was a rather convenient way to explain why--or perhaps his parents had just said it for some reason. Maybe they didn't want to try to discourage Alexei from his path, seeing as there isn't any other choice. I only know about the decision through Alexei's eyes (or more like ears ;)), so I can only speculate.

I like the ends of the two POV parts. It feels as though their fates will be pulled together, and the paragraphs behind talking about them being detached--for several reasons--makes it all the more interesting.

One thought that struck me is that this is more leaning toward an "introduction" or a "chapter one" rather than a prologue. When I was browsing Writing Tutorials, I found an interesting article on prologues that may interest you as well! Just food for thought ;)

I hope my review helped. PM me if you have any questions/comments. Happy writing!

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Que says...


Beginning novels is not my strong suit. ;) They're all too into dumpy. All of them. XD I'll invite you back sometime when I fix it, this is just the fun little project I'm testing out while doing 100 words a day. Thanks for the review~




Sometimes poetry is inspired by the conversation entered into by reading other poems.
— John Barton