Wishing for what we could have been
What we could have done
I'm trying to make it up
But, my heart can't take this
this damage
I feel it, and I can't ...
I just can't stand it
We could have been better.
I hope its not to late for me
Time consumes the image
and I'm just not sure what to do.
I want to come back to you
but I'm not sure if you feel the same.
I hope you do.
But I don't think it's going to happen.
So is this it?
Am I forever destined to be alone.
Will I ever love again?
I hope so.
But I doubt it will ever be as
great as what I shared with you.
We could have been so much more.
but, difference changing in distance
I can no longer take it
Time has split us apart.
and I'm not sure if I can ever forgive it
I'm not sure if you feel the same
But I wish I could at least know.
Then maybe the pain and
wondering could finally end.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,210 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
I loved this poem.I like to read these types of poems,talking about love and time.There is a certain magic to it and that’s what this is.My favorite parts in the poem were these lines:”We could have been so much more.But,difference changing in distance..” This tells me that the love has been lost and there is no hope in rekindling it,because life and time got in the way.Good Job on the poem!
Hi BrokenHeartsAri and MapleWay,
Mailice back with a short review!
I liked the poem very much. It has a certain heaviness in it that speaks of "would" respectively a what if state. You can clearly see that it's about a past love, perhaps a certain youthful love that you gave up after you got older.
I find this verse both good and not so good. In terms of word choice and meaning, I think the separation between the two "this" is great, because it seems like the narrator doesn't want to let the pain get to him. But I also find it stifles the reading that this is used twice, and I think it would help if in the first line after this ... (don´t know how one calls the three points
I like this verse very much because you can see the ambivalence and uncertainty of the narrator. At first he is convinced that he can do better now (possibly doubting himself) and yet he seems very lethargic, watching the days go by and not daring to go on or mention anything.
I find this verse very interesting because I think the narrator is referring more to forgiving himself than to time. The narrator blames himself that the time they were together distanced them and the narrator thinks it is because he has changed.
There are many of these places where you can read out in the text that the narrator is having doubts and is allowing himself to fall deeper and deeper into his spiral of fear through his own thoughts.
I like the meaning of the poem and I think you've done a perfect job of portraying that with this very split, thoughtful text. I think it can be summed up as "Don't mourn the lost time, but use the time yet to come to do better."I think this theme can also be related to a lot more than just love, which I think is great that it gives the poem even more meaning and depth. You've done a great job of making it convincing and making it feel like it's really coming from a person who is in conflict with himself (or herself. I believe that the text is told more from a woman's perspective.)
Have fun with your writing!
Mailice.
Thanks for the review!!