z

Young Writers Society


12+

Losing yourself

by EsmerayaRose


Losing yourself

Is the worst thing that can happen

When you don't know who you are any more

everything and everyone leaves you

Cause they kept complaning

about why this

why that

debating if you are worth all the trouble

Losing yourself

is the worst thing that can happen

When it gets to the point where you just don't care

About anything

Not friends

Not family

Not even yourself

 I lost Myself


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
13 Reviews


Points: 338
Reviews: 13

Donate
Tue Aug 10, 2021 12:19 am
View Likes
BornToBeGreat wrote a review...



Hey hope you're doing okay,

This is iconic. Losing yourself is probably one of the worsts things that can ever happen to a person. Every word. Every line. Everything that you wrote in this poem is deep. The best thing we can do to stay true to ourself is always remember the things that formed the good part of us. Anyways I am rambling again...This is normal for me.

Great poem. Fantastic work. Don't ever stop writing and stay strong!
-BornToBeGreat




User avatar
78 Reviews


Points: 40
Reviews: 78

Donate
Mon Apr 05, 2021 6:55 am
View Likes
NivedaJames22 wrote a review...



Hey

This poem is beautiful!!

I really loved this line:

When it gets to the point where you just don't care

About anything

It feels really relatable, like those times when you feel like you've hit rock-bottom and you're too tired to get up and move on.

I think "worst" works better in this line than "worse":

Losing yourself

is the worse thing that can happen

I also loved how you ended, it was so simple yet so deeply profound in meaning:

I lost Myself

I love how you convey so much emotion without using a lot of jargon.

Keep writing.




User avatar
701 Reviews


Points: 49988
Reviews: 701

Donate
Thu Apr 01, 2021 1:11 pm
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hello!!! I am glad that you posted again and u are writing! Please continue it. You are an awesome writer!

I am awestruck by your poem. To tell the truth, each word and each line of your poem has its origin inside your heart and you pour your emotions in your poem. I genuinely respect that!

I don't have much changes to suggest.

Is the worse thing that can happen

Here you can replace worse with worst. It seems grammatically correct and also adds a good meaning to that line.

Not even yourself

Because You lost yourself

Before these lines, maybe you could add a line such as later or something of that sort. If you re-read that stanza, those lines such as not friends...sounds as you don't care about them and not caring about yourself is the worst thing that can happen. The line which follows ‘not even yourself’- it seems like you earlier had also not cared about yourself but that's not the fact.

This is all. Thanks for giving me the chance to review. I wish you all the healing you might ever need. Stay safe.

~Forever





Moo.
— Cow