Hi BrokenHeartsAri,
Mailice here with a short review!
That was a lovely poem that reminded me of a refrain from a song. It has that sadness in it that you read between two uplifting stanzas and only get the meaning when you hear the song over and over again. Again, I found that like the bottom of the ocean, your poem opened up deeper and wider the more I read it and wondered what sorrow was troubling the first-person narrator.
Where I'm still thinking a bit is why you made different line sizes, as I haven't yet realised what the significance might be.
I could never have loved anyone
the way I loved you
I like the way you begin, already expressing a melancholy and describing a suffering, as if it were about a love that happened many years ago and only with the years does self-reflection arise and one thinks to oneself, "If only I had stayed with them." I like that it makes the beginning seem ponderous.
our hearts were joined,
hearts and souls facing the night
I like what I can read into this and I also love that you've created another variation of "two hearts beating as one".
there was only history
there was only history
Repetition in poems helps to intensify a line and here, however, I find that the doubling reads a little too clichéd. I think maybe you could have rewritten it or formatted it differently to create a heaviness.
we are now just two lonely hearts.
When I read this, I thought that the poem might also refer to a love between siblings. Like a separation in childhood, maybe because of a divorce or a possible adoption in an orphanage where one was separated. I like that, also how the meaning changes at the beginning.
it pains me as a ghost
it cuts me
deep
The more the poem moves towards the end, the darker it becomes, and new interpretations arise. I like how I think here that these lovers are already dead, wandering around as shroudless souls, unable to feel anything. Which is, of course, very tragic.
It was a short poem with a lot of meaning and I have to say I like my sibling love idea the most, where I can interpret more into it than if it was a typical love. Nevertheless, it was a great poem!
Have fun writing!
Mailice
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