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Yes that's me

by EsmerayaRose

Yes, that's me

Look and you’ll see

My hair is honey brown

My eyes are an empty blue

My arms have bruises from my past

My hands have small words reminding me

My heart has been shattered

I’m the broken e-girl

I never had alcohol

My friends-drifted away

I live somewhere we call hell

I hope you could understand

I dreamed to,let time control me

It’s all clear as can be.

That’s positively, absolutely me.

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110 Reviews

Points: 18909
Reviews: 110

Thu Apr 27, 2023 1:30 am
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Rose wrote a review...

Hi there!

Here with a small review on your amazing poem.

As always, I love poems, and yours is just really short and beautiful. You put so much emotion into the poem and your use of words really creates a vivid image in the reader's mind.

*Yes, that's me

Look and you'll see
The beginning of a story or poem is very important in this case because it is the best way to attract the reader and you have just nailed that point. It has a mysterious and fascinating effect on them.

I dreamed to,let time control me

It’s all clear as can be.

That’s positively, absolutely me.
And it seems like you have a very good end to it as well. I love your writing style, definitely keep up the good work!



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78 Reviews

Points: 40
Reviews: 78

Thu Apr 08, 2021 11:45 am
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NivedaJames22 wrote a review...


For starters, I really liked how blunt you are. I've noticed that a lot of people (I plead guilty to this charge too! :) ) tend to exaggerate their own physical appearance when they write.

I really loved how you ended - there's something firm, absolute about that line, almost as if you're you and nothing anybody says can ever change that. I really liked that.

I also liked this line:

My friends-drifted away

I live somewhere we call hell

On the whole, I loved your poem. Can't wait to read more of your work!

Keep writing.

EsmerayaRose says...

Thanks for the review!

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68 Reviews

Points: 810
Reviews: 68

Wed Mar 10, 2021 1:38 pm
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BhavyaMehta123 wrote a review...

Talking about the piece from a technical point of view. Its a well written and flawless one. Its short simple and conveys the idea so well. Loved this poem!!!
Lots of love to you, the girl who still smiles besides all the bruises. Who keeps going thriving and breathing. May you be filled with all the love the world has to offer. May you heal and feel alive.
Lastly keep writing and aspiring in life!!!
Best wishes

EsmerayaRose says...


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48 Reviews

Points: 303
Reviews: 48

Mon Mar 08, 2021 5:15 pm
LilPWilly says...

This is well written and relatable.
My only question, what does the ‘dream let time control me’ bit mean?

EsmerayaRose says...

Well The dream is basically things I wanted and I keep letting time control me(letting it pass by) so I won't be able to get what I really desire
I apologize if it was kind of unclear

LilPWilly says...

That%u2019s cool. If you put a comma in it would make sense. But that%u2019s a cool sentiment is what I mean. I hope you catch your dream. Speaking of, I have a blog for dream chasers on this site, you should check it out loll

Coffeeboyjay says...

hey your poemwas good

EsmerayaRose says...

Thank you! I hope to see some of your work

LilPWilly says...

Ofc yonia.
@Jason20 which one?

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109 Reviews

Points: 183
Reviews: 109

Mon Mar 08, 2021 5:09 pm
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illy7896 wrote a review...

I like this poem and the way that you have described yourself in a blunt and instructive manner, the physical and characteristical factors of your identity. Additionally, starting each line with 'I' and 'my' is effective in doing this. My favourite line was

That’s positively, absolutely me.

because being at the end it ties the whole poem together in an affirmative way.

However, with this line:

My hands has small words reminding me

it should be 'my hands have' or 'my hand has.'

Additionally, with this line:

I dream let time control me

I think that 'I dream to let time control me' would make better sense. Lastly, with

My friends they drifted away

could you add a dash between friends and they: 'My friends- they drifted away.'

These are all minor critiques and I enjoyed the style of this poem, good work.

Uh, Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is so we don't have to think all the time. Just like that rainforest scare a few years back: our officials saw there was a problem and they fixed it, didn't they?
— Homer Simpson