I sit silently staring dumbly at the wall,
my heart feels crushed and torn.
My throat dry and sore from the tears,
my eyelids bruised from your fist.
The love I once believed existed,
seems like a silly, childish fantasy.
I sit silently staring dumbly at the wall,
still shocked by what you have ruthlessly displayed.
Shocked and scared by what you have done,
twitching and nervous at a small sound.
My fingers are feeble,
my movements are useless and weak.
I sit silently staring dumbly at the wall,
feeling cheated and dead.
I can't believe I was so naive,
I thought you might find room for me in your heart.
How wrong I was to think such a thought,
Now I feel stupid and gullible.
I sit silently staring dumbly at the wall,
my heart swallowed by your lies.
I was always blind to your flaws,
oblivious to the fact you never supported me.
I never noticed the sly smile you had on your face,
when you intentionally hurt me.
I sit silently staring dumbly at the wall,
the truth sinking in.
You never loved me at all,
it was all just a game to you.
these thoughts float around my head,
As I sit silently staring dumbly at the wall.
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137,563 Literary Works • 672,044 Reviews
This is truly a beautiful piece of work! I loved the repetition of:
Keep writing! BRAVO!
'I sit silently, staring dumbly at the wall'
That's what really caused a lot of the emotion. The imagery was great and for grammatical errors, I couldn't find any! Great job! Oh and before I forget, this would make a great short story or even a novel! You should think about it if you write that stuff
wow, this is really good, I've seen abusive relationships, and you've captured it beautifully. i truly love this poem. its amazing, i expect to see more from you, let me know when you post more.
This is indeed a beautiful and sad piece of writing. You certainly have done a fantastic job at putting together a poem that certainly captures the emotion of someone who has been betrayed by someone, particularly close to them.
In this particular case, the use of repetition was well used and is indeed supportive of the over all effect of the piece. In general, most repetition is rather annoying and not needed, but you have used it appropriately in this case.
Not really much more I can say if I’m honest. But it was a privilege to read this, and keep writing.