Story of regrets, isn't it? nice work keep it up.
z
I have been fooled,
by my own nostalgic mind.
Seen through a dusky filter,
and softened with age.
Is it my imagination?
Or, is it sharper than I remember?
Because I cut myself,
when picking up an old photograph
in a sealed picture frame
the shattered glass a hazard,
even in my calloused hands.
Time has healed old wounds,
primed them to be struck again.
In the least expected arms,
I find myself betrayed.
A small moment of being cast aside
and I am drifting away,
swallowed by endless waters.
The horizon of my past reemerges
and old landscapes,
borne into my memory,
are visible again.
I found a familiar discomfort in the
old voices on the same stuck record player
competing to tell their own stories.
Walking old paths,
but the sights don’t force me to smile
the way they once did,
my tired instincts worn out.
I can no longer pretend
to be content in the walls of this old house.
And, the walls: painted with nostalgia,
are cracking now,
and the paint is flaking off,
slowly undressing from its old disguise.
I am in awe of the exposed structures,
there is a sickening thrill
in watching the facade disintegrate
and seeing the truth, bare and unashamed.
I was once afraid,
of that which I couldn’t see.
But now it hurts to look back,
seeing with these new eyes.
To see how unsteady those shaking walls were,
and to be reminded how sharp
those twisted arms and voices were.
And the impossible loneliness
amidst the boundless crowds of dark figures.
Finally rid of the suffocating hands
that held me down.
I am myself,
unashamedly.
Hello, EnchantedPanda!
I have to agree with Elijah. This work is very complex for such a short piece. I loved the vocabulary words you use. They add depth and desperation to the work. I would suggest sectioning your stanzas though just so it's easier to keep one's place ect. But I really liked this even though I'm not a fan of free-verse. Great job!
~Ruby
Hey there! Eli here for a small review of your lovely poem.
The work was short but very complex for me, it can be said for sure what the MC is going through but it is surely no good as the atmosphere of the piece is very emotional and negative. Maybe a break up or someone's death, a horrible memory or just bad past in general. But every reader can look at this work in a different way and understand different concepts of it, but still understand it in a way which proves the work has some kind of a feeling and thought to it.
You use beautiful vocabulary and when I read this work, I felt like a wise man was telling me a tale with his deep calm voice that never shivered or felt afraid. It felt like someone was talking to me about their past that they did not want to forget even if it hurt them so deeply. When it comes to punctuation and grammar, you are with no mistakes, even minor, as I found nothing wrong to be written in this work. I still wished there was one main thing we talked about in this work, I feel dumb for not understanding the concept of it, the one you wanted to show me. Anyways, that does not change the fact that it is a beautiful work. It would be great if you sectioned it a bit more though. Sometimes the flow is killed with too many lines collied together.
Help me and section them, make my read smoother, make your work look even better!
Slowly undressing from its old disguise.
Keep on writing!
Man, you are of a totally different level. Loved this poem. Loved the languge you used. You were able to capture the feeling of nostalgia through your words so well. I wonder from where you got such a brilliant idea. Awesome work! Keep it up!!
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