The sky is a mystery
with an abundance of secrets
and sealed lips.
Heavy with bloated clouds,
threatening to spill
the rain is yields.
Thick inky blots,
staining the fabric of the sky,
shadows from below.
Waxy yellow petals
lace the gorse,
vivid drips of honey.
Thorn coated branches
stretch their prickled arms,
gnarled and twisted with age.
These two united
in an unlikely combination,
beauty and pain.
Waves crash violently,
rolling and churning
in an endless dance.
A boat rocks gently,
swayed by the rhythm of the waves,
far out in the sea.
Chipped wood grinds,
a canvas sail,
held up by the polished mast.
Sand stretches endlessly,
embroidered with scatterings of shells
an assortment of colours.
Paua reflects the sun's brutal glare,
clams are creamy pastels,
seaweed a murky brown.
The prints of two sets of feet
mark the sand,
always beside one another.
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139,610 Literary Works • 672,619 Reviews
I really loved this poem. Combining the theme of secrets with the setting of the seaside was great! I love how every stanza gives a slightly different view of your central idea. For example,
<3
"The sky is a mystery
with an abundance of secrets
and sealed lips.
Heavy with bloated clouds,
threatening to spill
the rain is yields.
Thick inky blots,
staining the fabric of the sky,
shadows from below." gives more of a feeling of a heavy, humid day, and
"Waves crash violently,
rolling and churning
in an endless dance.
A boat rocks gently,
swayed by the rhythm of the waves,
far out in the sea.
Chipped wood grinds,
a canvas sail,
held up by the polished mast." evokes more of a feeling of restlessness.
The only thing is you had a couple of typos. In
"Heavy with bloated clouds,
threatening to spill
the rain is yields." it should be, "the rain *it* yields." But I've made that mistake plenty of times
And here, in the last lines:
"The prints of two sets of feet
mark the sand,
always beside one another." You want to say "always beside *each* other. "One another is for more than two of something, "each other" is for two.
Really awesome poem though. Keep up the terrific work!
I like your poem!For me it just like a lyric that i could sing along with my guitar.It quiet difficult to understand but i believe there is so much means inside just like a mystery cloud you had mentioned here.
"The sky is a mystery
with an abundance of secrets"
for me the last lines in the last stanza is so amazing:
"The prints of two sets of feet
mark the sand,
always beside one another."
It just like someone who near with you will be always be together in somehow.Great job!