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Young Writers Society



Atlas

by Empires


At last,
I've found you. 


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20 Reviews


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Reviews: 20

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Mon Feb 27, 2017 6:13 pm
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RossiRainCloud wrote a review...



Hello their! GoldenArrow here to review your simple yet pretty poem :)
um, their is not I lot I can review on here, XD because of the size of this poem and also I stink at writing poems but I do really like it and how it is simple and pleasant and to finally see something on YWS that does not fill up a whole page!
so good on you for doing that and when I get the chance I would really like to read more of your work.
have a wonderful day on YWS!





# GoldenArrown




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71 Reviews


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Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:15 pm
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crobbins wrote a review...



Hey, crobbins here for another review!

So I saw this under the new members tab in the Green Room! Congratulations on joining YWS! It takes a lot of courage to put your work out there for others to see!

So, now some nit-picks!

I do have to say, I thought you could have done more with this poem IF YOU WANTED TO. I understand this is meant to be a short poem, but I can't help but stress that you could have expanded upon the idea you have here. So much ambiguity could lead to a wonderfully developed longer poem!

I also think that if you gave more context, such as saying how long it was before "at last," or describing the individual before "I've found you..." it would make the piece more immersive. But I get this is not the intention of the piece.

That's all I found for nit-picks!

I like the idea here. I really do.

"At last,
I've found you."

We all have experienced this. Maybe in finding a best friend, or in finding a lover. Maybe in finding yourself after a time of self-doubt. The relatability of this piece makes it easy for the reader to like your idea.

I have to admit, I don't usually like short poems. I love your idea here, though! I just think that if you elongated this it could do some good to get more ideas developed! But this is a GREAT starting point if you ever do want to make a longer poem!

So overall, I think this would be a great start to a great poem, if you do choose to make a longer piece off of this! But it is a great idea you put down! I'd love to read more of your work!

-crobbins




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Fri Feb 24, 2017 10:39 pm
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amelie wrote a review...



At last, I've found you.


a phrase uttered many, many times before by regulars, actors, and authors and all the people. Nothing's new under the sun with this one, and daaangit! I wanna see more. Admittedly, I somewhat hate it when I'm told to expand on the meaning of something or describe further what I wanted to get across, but sometimes it's true. In your mind, you've got a scenario set up. For everyone else, it may not make sense. I want to hear and I want to feel what you mean. Who'd you find and what were [they] lost to?
Perhaps you don't need to write this into several stanzas or even two- at all. Use it as a haiku, a tanka; anything. Take advantage of all the content you can add into this instead of using a simpler, more popular phrase to sum it up. (What were you even trying to sum up?) So maybe I could ask a few questions, and you can work with yourself on answering them? Or maybe you already have the answers, you just need the words- the expansion.

At last,


Since when? How long has it been, what lead to the happenings?

I've found you.


Found who? How/where were they lost, maybe? Perhaps it wasn't physically, but emotionally?

Anyways, it's up to you. (duh.) But I'd like you to think over it, see what you can do. Hopefully this proves helpful to you. :)

-amelie.




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Fri Feb 24, 2017 10:26 pm
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niteowl wrote a review...



Hi there, Empires! Niteowl here to review this piece, which is shorter than my usual intro! :P

Oftentimes, I'm not a fan of the super-short poems like this. I feel like they can leave too much unanswered and feel incomplete. However, I find that I like this because it is a complete thought, though there is obviously ambiguity.

I find myself wondering what the speaker found and why it took them so long. My first instinct is that they've found a person, that perfect soulmate or maybe a long-lost family member. But the title brings in another, more intriguing possibility--maybe "you" isn't a person, but rather a physical location. Maybe, for example, this person is a nomad who's traveled the globe but never felt like they belonged anywhere, and now they're at a place where they can finally say "I'm home". Whatever the backstory, the wording suggests that the speaker has been through a long journey and can now finally feel satisfied and settled.

Overall, I find the brevity of this piece intriguing with several possible meanings. It could be expanded on, but I don't feel like it has to be (the way some short poems make me feel). Keep writing! :)




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Fri Feb 24, 2017 9:02 pm
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Lily708 says...



Wowww...Is this a poem?!Maybe you're right"The Shortest Poem".
Whatever it is I really like it..
"At last,
I've found you. "
Those 17th words which make two sentences is self-satisfactory.It indicates a deep satisfaction the character got after a long search/time which satisfies the reader to the brim too.


#Awesome!!

Keep posting your works..they really are fun and satisfying!

-Lily.




Empires says...


Thank you.



Lily708 says...


My Pleasure:)




You have to be a bit of a liar to tell a story the right way.
— Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind