A Confused World

by Dracula

Published November 13, 2016

In NaNoWriMo 2016

Justin looked down at the bouquet of daffodils he was holding; they were for his younger sister, Ebony. He was currently riding in the hospital elevator, heading up to floor three where she was staying under supervision. The night before, she’d had another one of her episodes; they happened every now and then, when her anxiety became too overwhelming. Her mind would imagine things to try and make the situation easier to handle. That’s how his mother had explained it, at least, all those years ago when Ebony was first diagnosed. They’d been through a lot since then, and Justin was always there for her. Even when he moved away from home to attend college, he made sure to visit whenever she asked. And, this morning, she’d phoned him from the hospital, desperate to talk.

The elevator pinged open, the doors revealing the typical white hallways which made hospitals so… unsettling. They could have at least hung some colourful paintings, like in the childrens’ ward, to make it a little bit friendlier. It was no wonder Ebony was desperate for company in this place. He hoped the daffodils would serve to make her room, which was inevitably the same whitewashed prison cell, a little brighter.

“Excuse me.” He approached the nurse’s station, eyeing a woman who was typing vigorously away at her computer. “Could you please tell me what room my sister’s in?” The woman nodded, and he continued, “Her name’s Eb-”

“Ebony?” That got her attention; her head perked up from the screen and she stopped typing. Her eyes wavered from the top of his head to his shirt, and the yellow bouquet. “You two look similar. Come to see vampire girl, eh?” Vampire girl? That was a new one, he’d never heard Ebony could that before. He decided it must have had something to do with her attack the previous evening.

“Yeah,” he tapped his fingers on the desk impatiently, “what room is she in?”

“Eight. Head down that way,” she pointed to the left, where a hallway led around the corner, “then go right. You can’t miss it.”

“Thanks.” He smiled and hurried away before the nurse could open her mouth and make another comment about his sister’s fantasies. He didn’t want to hear about them from anyone, not until he’d first heard about them from her.

Once he turned the corner, it was quite a trek to room number eight. Most of the doors he passed were open, and since there was nothing else but white walls to look at, Justin found himself looking in. A few forlorn figures stared at him from their beds, no evidence that anyone had visited them, and Justin wished he had enough money to buy everyone daffodils. Some residents had the odd gift basket, full of half-eaten cakes and open biscuit boxes. One lady, who waved to him as he passed, was brushing the hair of a little girl who sat on the bed. Maybe hospitals weren’t so bad, if you had someone there with you. But Ebony had always hated them, regardless of how many nights his mother slept in a chair beside her bed.

The nurse was right; room eight couldn’t be missed. It was right beside a snack dispenser, at the end of the hall. He knocked on the closed door, and then entered without waiting for a reply.

“Hey, Ebony.” She was sitting up in bed, gloomily staring out the window. Her view was hardly inspirational, just a red brick wall and one-half of a rubbish bin. When she heard her brother’s voice, though, she leaned forward and her face lit up.

“Justin!” Thanks for coming.” She patted the bed beside her, motioning for him to sit down. He did, but not without going in for a massive hug first. His arms wrapped around her shaking form, she was in one of those dreadful white hospital gowns. What was with hospitals and white? Were they trying to scare away black, the colour of death, or something symbolic like that?

“These are for you, obviously.” He slumped down onto the stiff bed and handed her the bouquet of daffodils. She eagerly snatched the yellow flowers from him and cradled them against her chest; inhaling their delightful scent.

“Thank you,” she said in between sniffs. “They’re like the ones in our garden.”

“The flowers are blooming, then?” He hadn’t been home since the start of spring, so didn’t know about these little family happenings. Justin lived in an apartment now, he rented it with two of his college mates. Ebony nodded. “I bet they look pretty.”

“So pretty. But that’s not what I wanted to talk about.” She laid the bouquet beside her, placing them gently as if they were a baby. Then she placed a hand on his shoulder, and pulled him closer to her. Justin shuffled to the head of the bed, leaning against the wall, he gave Ebony his full attention.

“So what did you want to talk about? I’m listening.”

“What I saw last night.” She spoke quietly. Not quite a whisper, but softly enough that no one lingering outside the door could hear. He was certain Ebony believed the nurses were spying on her; she’d hinted at that during earlier visits. But she was there to be monitored, so they probably did watch every now and then. For once, her anxiety wasn’t irrational.

“What did you see, Eb? I won’t tell the nurses.” She scoffed at that.

“Oh, I’ve told them. They think I’m crazy, of course.”

“I won’t.” He couldn’t say that he’d believe her, because he didn’t believe everything that Ebony said. Once she’d claimed that a ghost had pushed her onto the train tracks, when he’d seen her trip and fall herself. But he would never think his sister was crazy.

“I saw vampires, Justin. Honest to god, I did.” She paused, but he didn’t say anything. That’s what the nurse had been referencing, the vampires. He couldn’t imagine what Ebony had been thinking about, to make her mind conjure up blood-suckers. “I woke up in the car, you see. Mum said I’d fainted, and I don’t doubt it. We’d been at the doctors.”

“Oh.” Ebony hated going there, it sent her mind reeling with all the different ways someone could die. “I don’t doubt it either, then.” She smiled slightly. Justin admired that about his sister, the way she could see the humour in her condition.

“We had to go the blood lab, to stop them from throwing out the sample I’d given. Something like that.” She waved her hand, dismissing the irrelevant details. “It was dark, and we pulled into the parking lot, at the back of the lab. This gothic looking guy came outside with a trolley full of blood samples.” She wasn’t looking at Justin anymore. Her eyes were back on the window but she was in a sort of trance, reliving the memory. “Then all these other people just appeared out of nowhere. I reckon they were bats before, and they switched to human form.”

“The vampires?” Justin guessed, and she nodded.

“They were wearing funeral-type clothes, all old fashioned and black. And they went up to the trolley and started helping themselves to the blood. Just taking it, as if they were helping themselves to bags of lollies. They put them to their mouths, and then ripped. WIth their teeth. And you can probably figure out what I’m going to say next.” She came out of her trance, turning her head back to him. Her eyes were pleading with him to say something, to suggest that he believed her.

“Then they drank the blood.” Justin had his chin resting on his fist, trying to make sense of what Ebony was saying. He couldn’t admit to her that vampires existed; they didn’t, and he was sure of that. That she’d seen something, something that her mind had twisted into a supernatural blood feast. What was it?

“Do you think I’m crazy?” She raised her eyebrows. Justin shook his head and wrapped a strong arm around her,

“I’ll never think you’re crazy, Eb, not until you start claiming that unicorns are real.”

She giggled, and his heart lightened when he jokingly said, “But they are!” At least she was still able to joke, that was all that mattered while she was stuck in the white cells of the hospital. “But Justin,” she turned serious again, “I want to ask you something else.”

“What is it?”

“Could you go there for me?” He breathed in, holding his breath for a moment. She’d never asked him to do that before, to investigate. He did a double-take, wondering if he was imagining things too.

“To the blood lab?”

“I know it’s not fair to ask. I know you don’t really believe me.”

“Ebony-” She shook her head, a faint smile forming on her lips. She cared about his feelings just as much as he did hers. His mother was always claiming they were the perfect siblings, never fighting or raising their voices at each other.

“It’s okay, really. But if you go there, maybe you’ll see them. And then the nurses can’t say I’m the only one who believes in vampires.” He thought for a moment. She just wanted someone to confirm what she’d seen. Or un-confirm it, perhaps. He could go there for her, couldn’t he? Just to put her mind at peace. If anyone saw, he’d make up some sort of story. He couldn’t exactly claim to be vampire-hunting, so he’d just say he was lost.

“I guess I could.”

“Thank you.” She pulled a daffodil out of her bouquet, and sheepishly presented it to him. Justin took it in his free hand, and positioned the yellow bud in his shirt buttonhole. Then his other arm wrapped around her, and she imprisoned him with hers. “I appreciate this, Justin.”

“I know you do, Ebony,” he breathed in the scent of her hair, of the cheap hospital shampoo, “I know.”

Kyle walked into the blood laboratory’s carpark at mid-afternoon, and he was relieved to find that the place was practically empty. There was one truck out the back, and it said ‘Capable Cleaners’, so the building must’ve been closed for cleaning. The place looked normal enough; it was rectangular and typical of a government-funded construction project with its cheap outdoor lights and frosted glass door. There were no gothic towers or eighteenth century gas lamps, no bat nests in the gutters or decorative cobwebs. The blood lab looked very unvampirish.

Justin remembered what his sister had said, how the car had pulled up near the back door, and a man had stepped out with the trolley. He edged closer to the frosted glass, thinking he might see something if he stood where Ebony had been. But, only metres away from the brick wall, he saw nothing out of ordinary. He’d expected nothing more.

Then Kyle Grimes came sprinting around the corner. Justin jumped, taken by surprise. His college classmate was clearly distressed; his checkered shirt had mud rubbed all over it, as did his jean knees. Justin guessed he must have fallen into a puddle whilst running, landing on hands and knees, and had used his shirt to wipe his hands. But why had he kept running after that? He looked past Kyle; there was no one chasing him.

“What’s wrong, mate?” As the distressed student zipped past him, Justin reached out and grabbed onto Kyle’s shoulders, pulling him to a stop. He gripped onto Justin’s arms, panting, big eyes burning into him.

“Lions!” He shouted between breaths. “Statues- lions- wizard- they were cement- and then…”

“Woah,” Justin attempted to rub his shoulders comfortingly, like he did with Ebony when she got into situations like this. But Kyle was gripping his arms with white fists, so hard that Justin could hardly move. “Talk slowly, man.” Come to think of it, this felt exactly like an Ebony situation. Lions, statues, wizards? That was a combination of things which could only be imagined, his academic mind reasoned.

“I was outside that old house, the rich one no one’s been inside.” There were plenty of old houses in the seaside town, but there was one which everyone gossiped about. Only one that had rumours and legends attached to it, because the owners weren’t known to allow anyone inside. It was local folklore, everyone knew about that house.

“I know the one. What happened?”

“The lion statues came to life!” Kyle shook Justin’s arms for emphasis. “They roared at me!” Justin didn’t know how he was meant to reply to that, so he just kept staring into Kyle’s eyes, confirming that he was listening. “The guy who lives there, he controlled them. He made them come to life, and then he ordered them to sleep and they were cement again!” First vampires, now lions, what was next?

“Okay, okay. I have to ask; did you take something?” Justin never would have questioned Ebony like that, but Kyle did have a reputation.

He shook his head, loosed his grip on Justin, and staggered back. “No, man. You’ve gotta believe me. God,” he placed his hands on his knees, breathing heavily, “I sound mad, I know. But it happened!”

At that moment, the frosted glass door opened and Justin’s heart skipped a beat as he saw a trolley emerge. For a second he thought it was full of blood bags, and he was going to witness what his sister had seen. But, the trolley was followed by a man in a shirt that read ‘Capable Cleaners’, and the trolley was full of cloths and cleaning liquids.

“Afternoon, gents,” the man nodded as he wheeled the trolley to his truck. He looked suspiciously at Kyle’s shaking form, then raised an eyebrow at Justin as if asking what’s his deal?

“Afternoon,” Justin smiled, “we’re just practising for school.”

“I saw lion statues come to life!” Kyle shouted to the sky. Justin nervously watched the cleaner, but he nodded, his mind accepting the excuse.

“Drama, eh? My daughter’s studying drama.” Trolley away, he disappeared into the driver’s compartment and the truck’s engine rumbled to life. Justin sighed with relief. He needed to get Kyle somewhere private, where he could let off steam without anyone seeing. It wouldn’t help if the cops were called. Once the truck was out of sight, Justin knelt down beside Kyle, who was now rolling on the bitumen, pulling at his hair.

“I saw it, Justin, I did!” He shrieked. This had happened to Ebony a few times, so he knew what to do. At first Kyle had been one hundred percent certain of what he’d seen, but now doubt had been instilled into his mind, and he was desperately trying to convince himself that it had happened.

“I know you did,” he said soothingly, pulling the student to his feet. Kyle’s knee brushed against Justin’s pants, leaving a muddy mark on them. “Let’s get you somewhere quiet, do you have your house key?”

Kyle nodded, sobbing, “in my pocket.”

“Okay. Let’s go there then.” Justin decided his investigation for Ebony would have to end there. Depending on what state of mind she was in when he returned to the hospital, he either tell her there was nothing there, or he would suggest that some sort of evidence had been there and the ‘capable’ cleaner had just gotten to it first. He put an arm around Kyle, supporting his classmate, and led him out of the carpark.

Just as the pair passed under a streetlight, Justin was left to wonder whether he was imagining things too. On the ground was a balled up plastic bag, something the cleaner had overlooked. It had red spots in it, and Justin realised it must’ve once been full of someone’s blood. That wasn’t the odd thing, though, he was outside a blood lab. The odd thing was that he could clearly see teeth marks in the plastic. Fang marks. Justin shook off the idea and focused on Kyle; he was letting the crazy events of the day get to his head.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Lauren2010
Review
Lauren2010 wrote a review Review · Dec 4, 2016

Hi there, Dracula!

You know, it's not often I find a doubter-of-magic story that is as enjoyable as this one. Usually it's overly-dramatic, or we know exactly which side to believe (magic is real vs the magic is a dream) which is never as fun as the mystery is in this piece. I'm not sure which side to believe, which is fantastic and makes me want to keep reading!

I know you said in the description of this piece that it isn't meant to be a standalone, but rather something that connects two other stories. I'm going to argue with you, though, that there ought to be something about THIS piece that can stand on its own and be satisfying without reading the stories that come before/after it. I didn't find myself lost for information I would have learned in the other two stories, which is a great sign for this piece. You've got such a strong beginning and most of a middle, here, it would be a shame not to give it a strong ending as well.

Basically, what I think is missing from this piece is a full arc. All stories have arcs, of course, but even chapters of a novel have to have some sort of arc. So even a story connecting two other stories should have its own arc (and if something has an arc, it can generally stand alone!). As is, you've got two really great scenes going. The hospital is a great beginning (a liiiittle more context might make it even stronger, but that could also come from this not being standalone), and this parking lot scene outside the laboratory is also a really great middle scene. What we're missing, however, is an ending.

Since stories have arcs, we know all we need is a beginning (the problem is introduced), a middle (the problem is complicated/an attempt is made to solve the problem), and an end (the problem is solved or abandoned). The problem of this piece seems to be that Ebony has seen vampires/other supernatural creatures. This gets complicated when Justin goes to the lab parking lot to investigate for his sister, and finds Kyle there freaking out about a house with magical stone lions. So it seems like there are two ways this could go: Justin continues to investigate the vampires and proves either they exist or they don't, OR Justin and Kyle investigate the house with the lions and prove something about the existence of magical/supernatural creatures in this world.

Of course, since this is a connecting piece, I don't know if this is something that is a problem that is solved in another story. In which case I would ask, why are these multiple stories and not one long story? If it's a collection/a novel in stories, and the ultimate question is "are these magical characters real?" then perhaps there is another problem to be solved/question to be answered in this story that hasn't made its way to the surface yet. Smaller problems that build the larger problem.

Anyway, I hope my structure ramblings were helpful to you! xD You have a really strong set of characters, setting, and plot already started. All this story needs is a fully fulfilled arc and you'll have something really fantastic.

Keep writing!

-Lauren-

User avatar
Casanova
Review
Casanova wrote a review Review · Nov 24, 2016

Heya, Dracula! Casanova here to review!

Anyway, the first thing I noticed was these lines-

That was a new one, he’d never heard Ebony could that before.


I think you meant called, but I'm not exactly sure. Anyway, I would suggest rephrasing if you didn't mean call, or switching this to called.

Anyway, character description. It's there, but Justin seems like he's lacking something. I can tell this is supposed to fit another short story that you've done, and props for that-the connection is really wonderful to make-, but Justin seems rather bland. Here he's doing what you tell him to do, but compared to the other one he lacks a personality. I think that you could make him a bit more.. Him, if you know what I mean. Now, this could just be a problem with his speech or actions, I don't think you meant for him to be dull, if you know what I mean. Play around with phrasing and ideas, and make him seem more realistic instead of just there. He is your protagonist after all. Anyway, to the next thing.

I feel like you layered the plot out well. Except the ending, where I really want to know if you're going to make yet another short story. It's dramatic and suspenseful, and seems to cut off at the right placed and makes it really good. So props for that, it's definitely much better than a lot of the short stories I've read so far.

As far as grammar and such, I found nothing. I'll come back to it later.

Anyway, I think that's all I have to say about this one. On to the next.I hope this helped, even a bit.

Keep on doing what you're doing and keep on keeping on.

Sincerely, Matthew Casanova Aaron



it's ok, death by laughter was always how i've wanted to go out
— Carina