Young Writers Society

Wow. This is honestly a poem unlike anything I've seen before. Typically when one thinks of a poem, that person thinks of some cliche sob fest of a bunch of lines and stanzas, but you decided to think outside of the box rather than just do something generic. I absolutely loved the style you used for the poem. It seems so simplistic at first glance, but if you look into it, even with such few words, it means more than one could imagine. As ZZAP wrote, I have to agree that the title doesn't exactly match with the content of the actual poem. The themes are completely different. It kind of throws the reader off. Plus, the last little "ever changing world" really doesn't have a place there and fails to contribute to the main point of the poem. Despite the poem's flaws, it's awesome, unique and carries a nice message. Keep writing!

Greetings!

I like the minimal choice of words in this piece. It reminds me of some interesting formating styles in other types of poetry, like Japanese tankas and haikus. I appreciate the lack of capitalization, as it gives this poem a fleeting personality that fits its simplistic nature. My favorite line is where you introduce the supposed poet in line two; the timing is natural here.

The title and the last line are charged in a peculiar relationship, as I don't fully really understand your motive. This creates a false sense of uncertainty for me, actually. I believe the title proxies a forced, cryptic theme that you try to build the poem from. Try to title the poem in the same manner as the first three lines and let the last line carry the uncertainty.

Lastly, remove the signature "ever-changing the world." It jars the whole poem, and I don't see it's point.

Continue writing and thanks for the opportunity to prod your work!