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E - Everyone

please let me in your heart

by Chitz

i have walked

on many soils

and have laid eyes

on things irresistible,

but now i want 

to stay at one place

being where

is adventurous

and calming

at the same time.

please let me in your heart.

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34 Reviews

Points: 2375
Reviews: 34

Mon Feb 10, 2020 6:37 am
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Hkumar wrote a review...

Hey @Chitz ! I loved your poem . It's short but really sweet.
You used very simple words to evoke some deep emotions. You kept the readers captivated and mesmerized with your poem .
I guess the minimum use of punctuations and no capitalization made your poem look more beautiful and kept a smooth flow .
Though as pointed out by tgham99 ,I will also admit that I felt something missing in the line -
" being where
is adventurous"
So it's better that you add an 'it' there.
I will also mention that I liked your choice of the title. It felt
really compelling to me.
Overall , it was a wonderful piece of poetry. Loved your style of writing.
Keep up the good work! :)

User avatar
111 Reviews

Points: 9075
Reviews: 111

Mon Feb 10, 2020 5:08 am
tgham99 wrote a review...

Very sweet and concise poem, which I found works well in terms of the overarching theme. I like that this poem exudes a calm, yet passionate desire to fit into this other person's heart; it's heartwarming -- no pun intended ;)

I do think that this particular section reads a bit awkwardly:

"but now i want
to stay at one place
being where
is adventurous
and calming"

I'm not sure if there's a word missing somewhere in here; when I read over it again, I added "it" right before "is adventurous" which helped it make a bit more sense. Just figured I'd point it out in case you go over this piece again in the future :)

I actually enjoy the fact that this poem reads as one consistent train of thought rather than being broken up by solid punctuation marks; this adds to the sense of innocence and yearning that I get while reading it. The final line of the poem is also a plus to me because I love that it expresses the speaker's desire for this other person to make room for them in their heart. Good way to end it!

Lovely poem all in all and aside from that one spot of awkwardness that I came across, it was a nice read. Write on!!

User avatar
90 Reviews

Points: 2518
Reviews: 90

Sun Feb 09, 2020 2:16 pm
LZPianoGirl wrote a review...

**My Thoughts**

Hey @Chitz! LZ here with a review! I liked this poem. The lack of capitalization is actually a nice thing for the poem.

**Formatting and Grammar**

I liked how you didn't separate this poem into stanzas. It is long enough to do that, but it looks neater without. The lines are all around the same length, which is nice and makes the poem smoother to read.

As for grammar, I didn't catch anything wrong or out of place! Good job!

**Punctuation and Capitalization**

I noticed you did use punctuation, but it was minimal. I do like how you kept with the theme of not doing a lot of punctuation and capitalization. It helps make the poem more dramatic, as the review before me said. I guess most people ignore punctuation when reading a poem, but it does set the tone. To me, not using it, made this poem seem sad and dramatic.

**Quick Review**

Wonderful poem! I liked your choice to use minimal capitalization and spelling!

Keep on writing, I thought this poem was lovely! Have a good Sunday!

User avatar
30 Reviews

Points: 62
Reviews: 30

Sun Feb 09, 2020 8:44 am
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vagrant wrote a review...


Hi @Chitz , Vagrant here for a quick review.

I really liked the theme of the poem. The length is perfect and, amazingly, you managed to convey everything and incite the right emotions in the reader's mind. One thing I especially dote is that most of the poem is one single sentence; I think it adds to the overall appeal.

You also used capitalization cleverly to create more drama, which I appreciate. The word choices are simple, and the flow is smooth. The length of the piece is short, and so I would not comment much on the structure.

All in all a lovely read, I enjoyed it.

Keep writing!

Chitz says...

Thanks a lot for reading it!

I see no reason to celebrate the random timing of natural events by eating poison and singing.
— Dilbert