MonsterMe?

by Burrow

Published February 6, 2015

In Poem's

MonsterMe?

MeMonster?


One way is a question.

Other a statement.

I am still deciding...

If I am a question or

a statement.


Am I am monster,

or not?


Maybe being a monster is good?

Maybe I am just different.

Is that what  a monster is?


No, that's not it.

A monster is something horrible.


MeMonster.

Comments & reviews · 6
User avatar
fruit4you
Review
fruit4you wrote a review Review · Feb 22, 2015

Fruit4you here to review

I feel like this is how the cookie monster would speak. I understand the feeling and like the point of the poem, but I feel that your diction, grammar, and flow are lacking. I don't really like "Memonster" I feel like it is someone childish is saying that (Unless that is who is speaking as your poem's narrative) The poem didn't really make me feel anything. I want to feel what you feel. You mostly just asked if you were a monster and whether that was good or not. Then you answered that it is horrible. I didn't understand why you felt like a monster. I just think a bit of editing would do greatly here. But in all honesty it is still good and I don't mean for my criticism to be harsh, it just has potential, and that's what writing is. Getting better.

Keep Writing, Fruit4you :) :) :)

Burrow replied · Feb 27, 2015

haha lol, you think its childish, that fact that you don't understand what it means, is childish. I didn't just go and say that, then it is horrible haha. Also poems don't need to rhyme and have proper gramma haha

Well I'm sorry you were offended that to me "me monster" sounded similar to "me want cookie". I just don't like how "me monster" sounds. I'm not going to praise something (the me monster part) if I don't necessarily like it. Your poem has potential. I feel like your poem has a lot of feeling behind it but your poem doesn't represent it as well as it could. To me it's just odd that you are going from great grammar that sounds like your a proper English person to saying "I am monster" and "monsterme" "memonster" and I never said you needed rhyme. I'm aware of that. But to me it just sounds weird that since this is a narrative poem (you are the speaker) and you sound like you, again, are a proper British person or something, then you change it to "I am monster" I feel that away that point you want to sound like the monster, but to me it comes across as something not scary, sinister, or truly monsterish. As I've said before this poem has great potential. To me there are only a few things that I would change. And yes you just said that it is horrible. Your last line "A monster is something horrible." That's fine but maybe before highlight why being a monster is so bad. Because before you're just contemplating whether or not you are a monster without really any notion that it is a horrible and or painful thing to be. I'm sorry I didn't LOVE this like everyone else did. I liked it a lot, but I prefer to tell people on how I think they can improve and not how they are ready to take on the world and how they are already the best they can be. Everyone has more to work on.

Burrow replied · Dec 1, 2016

Sorry I was such a jerk

User avatar
Sonder
Comment
Sonder commented Comment · Feb 6, 2015

You aren't a monster. You're an awesome person.

Burrow replied · Dec 1, 2016

Thankyou alot

User avatar
Augustus
Review
Augustus wrote a review Review · Feb 6, 2015

Wow... This was amazing, the way you capture this perfectly. Not just anybody can write about this, not without experiencing it. You illustrate it perfectly. I can understand how you feel this way, because trust me people say that I AM WEIRD!
This poem was quite creative and new.
I love the way you have expressed yourself. Keep it up and good luck!

User avatar
IceWinifredd
Review
IceWinifredd wrote a review Review · Feb 6, 2015

Coolios. I don't really know what to say on this one. But it did make me think and this is my answer: I think everybody is a bit of a monster inside because no one can be completely good all the time, you know? I like how this made me use my head a little bit and really ponder a lot of things that humanity as a whole can be. Anyways, I think this is very unique and idealistic. Very nice job on this my friend. Very creative. -IceWinifredd

Burrow replied · Dec 1, 2016

Thanks alot :)

User avatar
Urba
Comment
Urba commented Comment · Feb 6, 2015

I love monsters

User avatar
Urba
Comment
Urba commented Comment · Feb 6, 2015

Good one...Good to taste a new kind of rythm...rythm is everything.

Burrow replied · Feb 6, 2015

Thunks



Poetry is my cheap means of transportation. By the end of the poem the reader should be in a different place from where he started. I would like him to be slightly disoriented at the end, like I drove him outside of town at night and dropped him off in a cornfield.
— Billy Collins