Confusion.
Never knowing.
Never understanding.
.
Confusion is not an emotion.
Is not a feeling.
It is the wild beast,
that control thee.
.
It is me.
It is you.
It isn't hope.
It isn't strength.
It isn't creation.
It is our demise.
.
We are our own destruction.
We are simple confused.
Sincerely Burrow.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,610 Literary Works • 673,552 Reviews
Viv here to try and review. Yeah this accurately describes confusion to me, so a thumbs up for that. But what do you mean by confusion "isn't creation"? Though I understand how confusion can be our demise, how is it not creation. Also, some things I saw that needed plural and suffix.
First one "that control thee", control should be controls.
And
"We are simple confused", simple should be simply unless there's a reason for that.
That is all, again, great poem.
Thankyou sorry its so late
I understand what you're trying to get at, but I don't feel like all the pieces are there. I hate to be really critical, but this poem is- well, it's ugly. The form doesn't really do anything, it's very /meh/. I read it with no emotion, because that's what it gives off, there are no feelings behind it.
You say confusion is nothing, but you just say it, and that sucks. When I read it I was like "So what? Who cares." You need to make me care! Explain what confusion is to you, explain why it's nothing, why it makes you feel bland, give me a feeling. Let me try and give an example, I'll take this line "Confusion is not an emotion", and turn it into:
"Confusion doesn't cause my mind to ache.
It doesn't make me want to lye
awake trying to sleep away the pain..." and just carry on from there.
You have to make me see it, use imagery, I'll take this line, "It is the wild beast,"and turn it into,
"The boar running through
the forest stalking it's youthful
prey, killing a creature for it's
own barbaric needs,
that is confusion."
I want to see it in my head, that isn't the best example but that's all I got!
This is also one being stanza, no breaks, and for this it doesn't seem to work!
I like the idea behind this, but it needs expanded! Keep writing and never give up!
- Phoenix
Thanks for the help, as for the stanza, I tried breaking it, but it always stayed as one stanza so :/
If you need help with that, try breaking it into paragraphs by putting a period in between, like this:
Hello,
My name is
Zhia.
.
I have killed many
Zombies.
Y'know, that thing up there is shameful. ^ But do you get the idea?
Yeah thanks
Sorry to jump in, but there actually is a way to avoid putting periods between stanzas. When you want to start a new line, hold down shift enter. This will single-space the lines. When you want to start a new stanza, press only enter. This will double-space the lines (as you have them now). I hope this helps!
I understnd this poem, very Good. I like how you discribed the word confusion in many ways. Yes confusing its a emotion its an feeeling beause you just dont know but i like. i dont think theres any Errrorrrrs, in here but if there are somebody will correct me. and
" Confusion.
Never knowing.
Never understanding."
Right here had me at hello i like this part but im done now byeeeee.. !
Thunks