Raw

Hi Awru!

This was a very powerful poem and you successfully embraced a lot of emotions in this. You created a very intense ambiance by putting forward such sensitive topics in front of the readers. A feeling of despair was evidently coming out of your poem.

First of all I must admire your strong vocabulary that you incorporated in this writing to depict the variety of feelings attached to a particular topic or I should rather call them as issues.The fact that you italicized those words added more emphasis on the idea- Loneliness, Pain, Helplessness and Death. All these four are somehow related because because of the sufferings and depression they bring in one's life. You began each stanza with a question of what does these feel like. Then you went on to describe your feelings in the most extreme ways. I have never seen use of underscore much in poetry but I guess it added more emphasis on certain words that depicted very strong emotions in your poem.

I liked the stanza about Pain, especially the way you described it and the imagery you used, 'A weaving of hollow curtains' and ' Acrid smell of burnt dreams'. The last stanza was quite different from others, short but effectively describes Death. I liked how you changed the font color of those three words in the ending. It was after reading the end I noticed the background picture of that girl sitting in distress, good choice.

I wanted to point out something about the punctuation though I know it's your stylistic choice so you are free to discard these suggestions. Since you used a question mark in the beginning of first two stanzas, I think it's better to follow the same format for the last two also because it gives a more emphasis on the reader to pause for a second and question deeper about those feelings. Also may be putting a period in the ending line of the stanzas can also be an option. Though like I said you are free to disregard these suggestions.

Overall, I really enjoyed your poem and felt the powerful emotions depicted by you words. All the best for your future works.

Keep writing

Well, this is loaded with emotion. You are expressing a lot within these few words and I think its amazing. Loneliness is a feeling that leaves you in the dark and later comes an also sucks away the dark leaving you in a vacuum. I really loved this poem and can relate to the emotion portrayed and this is really brave of you to just like express loneliness in a poetic way. This is good stuff.