For the Sake of Love!

Hello Awru! I saw your poem in the green room and thought I'd drop by for a review!

I like how straightforward this poem is - you say everything you want to say, and the flow of thoughts feels very connected. You don't introduce any random ideas in, and as a result the poem feels sort of united like a whole.

That being said, a lot of your language is quite literal. There's nothing wrong with that, but part of poetry is that it often uses figurative language that can't be taken literally. A few of my favourite lines use less literal imagery, such as

So many Mothers have put up their prices,
Murdered their wishes, hopes, and dreams,

because you can't actually murder your hopes and dreams, but it conveys the idea really well.

For that reason, I find your second-to-last stanza to be the strongest:

So many flowers of sorrow have bloomed in every garden,
So many tears have been shed,
A great many winds have sung songs,
A few mountains have even turned to ash,

So as a general comment, I would suggest trying to incorporate more figurate imagery into the poem. For example, if we look at the opening stanza

So many people have died,
So many people have sacrificed their hearts,
A great many have quietened their wishes,
A few have even broken themselves,

if we were to take all the literal language and make it more figurative, it could look like something along the lines of this:
So many people have died,
Letting their hearts be drowned -
Many have muffled their wishes in the waves,
And some have let the current tear them apart.

Of course it doesn't have to use water imagery, and it doesn't even have to be like that at all, that's just an example.

Another thing I want to mention is capitalization. In poetry, capitalization is really used as a stylistic choice, and there are no hard rules - you could capitalize the beginning of every line (like you did here), not capitalize the beginning of every line but capitalize proper nouns/pronouns (such as "Sarah" or "I"), or not capitalize anything at all. It's completely up to you as the poet! So, I won't say that capitalizing every line as you've done is wrong, but it is good to keep in mind what sort of effect that has on the poem. Capitalizing each line gives it a formal, slightly removed feel, whereas not capitalizing anything makes it feel more informal, personal, and raw. So just something to think about, depending on how you want the poem to feel!

Along those same lines, you've capitalized a lot of words, such as "Brother", "Sake of Love", "Soldiers", and "Passion". I'm not sure that I personally like having those words capitalized, but if you're using it for emphasis then that's up to you.

I like how you've repeated "All for the Sake of Love!" between each stanza, and I think it could be even more impactful if over the course of the poem you changed that line slightly. You could do this through punctuation, for example
1. All for the Sake of Love!
2. All for the Sake of Love.
3. All for the Sake of Love...
.
.
.
7. All for the Sake of Love --
This way, each line would take a slightly different meaning, as opposed to just repeating the same thing over and over. You could also choose to change the wording subtly - it's really whatever you want!

As a whole, I think you've got a really solid poem here! You might find it interesting to experiment with imagery, capitalization, and punctuation, and it might help develop your style even further. And this review is all just suggestions, so you can take it with a grain of salt If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

whatcha