Memories

by Awru

Published July 18, 2020

In Poems

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
VioletFantasy
Review
VioletFantasy wrote a review Review · Aug 5, 2020

Greetings!
I’m VioletFantasy and I would love to review this sweet poem that you wrote. I can really relate to this. I have always hated the last day of school and used to cry every year. Luckily, I stopped doing that. Anyway, your poem really explains the melancholy feeling of last days. You think about all of the memories you have made and all of the people you will miss.

I think the layout of your poem is amazing! The rose really represents how those memories can prick you. The font you chose is also quite lovely. It gives the poem a kind of gentleness.

Another thing that I really enjoyed is the stanza that you repeat several times throughout the poem. It adds emphasis on the main topic and it makes the poem very catchy. You also repeat the same word a few times in a stanza. This gives it the same effect as the repeated stanza, meaning a lot of emphasis. It’s a very tasteful way to make a beautiful poem!

My favorite lines are “The breeze will whisper your name in my ears, Ringing bells of distant memories, The clouds will paint your face in the blue sky, Bringing joy in the worst of moments,”. The imagery is absolutely astounding in these lines. Reading them made my heart melt.

You don’t have any major grammar or spelling mistakes. Everything was very clear and made sense. I can’t wait to read more poems that you write!!

Awru replied · Aug 5, 2020

Thanks for the review!

User avatar
WaterSpout
Review
WaterSpout wrote a review Review · Jul 30, 2020

Hello, Awru! Decided I would review your poem. Just trying out new genres and feelings. But wow, school ended for you in July 17? School ended in May 22 for me, probably because we entered earlier or something. That's cool.
I can somewhat relate with your words, and even though I'm not that sensitive, it still depicts similar feelings. But the sad thing is that the last moments of school were shared with Zoom. I wish I still had time to say goodbye, but I didn't see them in the last day before we had to leave for Spring Break. That's when we had to stay home forever.
But back to your poem, because I didn't write this to tell my life story.

Even when miles and miles of land separates us,
Your scent will hang in the air around me like a warm blanket,

Wow. This is great imagery here and everywhere. I could feel what you were describing, though I kept getting stuck in the meaning of some things. I'm not that good with poems, so I'll try and read more to get better with it.
More imagery that works:
Millions and billions of days will hover between us,
But your face will always be cherished like a freshly painted picture,

The breeze will whisper your name in my ears,
Ringing bells of distant memories,

I won't list all of them, since I'd include your whole poem, but still. Their is a lot of imagery, which is good. The only problem I really had with this wasn't even the text itself. It was the background that slightly covered up some of the text. It was still readable, just harder to read. And I won't say anything about grammar, because 1)It is unnecessary with a personal poem and 2)I didn't find any major mistakes that made it hard to read. I'd be nitpicking if I said anything about commas and stuff.
But other than that, this poem is great. This maybe(probably) wasn't targeted at me as a viewer, but I'd still review it nonetheless. Have a great day!
With caution,

WaterSpout

User avatar
alliaria
Review
alliaria wrote a review Review · Jul 18, 2020

The imagery here is so amazing. "The breeze will whisper your names in my ears, ringing bells of distant memories" is such as nice line. The thought of a memory being carried so casually and softly into your mind really drives home the point of just randomly being reminded of someone. Additionally, the repetition of:

"I will never forget you; I promise.
You will always be right here.
On the top floor of my heart."

reads to me like somebody chanting this over and over in their mind to make sure they won't forget because they swore they wouldn't. I'm not sure if that was the intent, but it's so achingly beautiful. Wonderful job!

Awru replied · Jul 23, 2020

Thank u! I am glad you liked it. Its a very personal poem!



You can do it, serpent king!
— Rhett McLaughlin