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Canary word: Present
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127,283 Literary Works • 671,484 Reviews
Hey, yo, MasterGrieves? I'm still attempting to get with this name change. It feels weird, because I was used to 567ajt. Strangelove here on this PokeReview Day and I have a review for you!
This wasn't that much of a poem, as it's evident. There is only one line to this, but for some reason it works so well. It feels fluent and proud. It is basically a poem within itself! It's just one of those one liners. I give props to you, but it would help if there was a little bit more. Another line would pack more of a punch, and it sure would land successfully. A square one to the jaw. I have to agree with Mags below, because there isn't that much you can honestly approve on. It's good, but it just has a presence.
Overall, good job.
Strangelove gives you..
8.1/10
Good job,
Keep writing,
Stay groovy, my friend.
#TeamPlasmaStruck
Hello, Grieves!
Unlike my fellow reviewers, I am able to find room for improvement here.
The shorter the poem, the harder it is to pull off. Every word counts.
What I think you should change is the word "these". There is room for more description to show a setting rather than keep it in the abstract for the whole poem. These days. Are we talking about present day? Or is the narrator depressed? Feeling out of whack? What is so special about "these" days? Give us something more. Are they halcyon days? Are they wild days? Exuberant days? Give us something. Otherwise, the poem doesn't have any emotion or context.
Also, shine could be changed to another word. When I think of something coming through blinds, I don't know if it shines through so much as it filters. I'm not saying you should use that word specifically, but I'd use a different word.
Anyway, I hope that this review proves useful to you! Happy review day!
Hello, MasterGrieves!
For such a short poem, there isn't much to critique so well done on that.
Although short, this poem is very powerful. It can be looked at it many different ways which definitely widens that audience that is going to find this appealing. The usage of such a small piece of writing creates great impact and leaves one thinking of it long after they've read it. Poems like these leave a lasting impression on readers and it is a great gift to have. Keep doing what you're doing!
XOXO
Anabelle
Hello.
A perfect short work. And one this is incidentally, incredibly hard to review.
It's interesting that you chose to put the sentence in italics. That adds a very dream-like quality to it, makes it seem very wistful.
The immediate thoughts this makes me have are these:
1. What days are these?
2. And what are the blinds of time?
This is a very thought-provoking work, because you have said so much with so little. It's interesting, because it sounds quite philosophical. XD
I think that you're making some grand statement about the world. Somehow. I'm not entirely sure how. But I like it.
It sounds like something Plato has written or a quote from one of these "thoughtful" types of people.
I like reading this kind of work.
Well done.